Holy. Crap.

[scarlett09]

Kris, don't despair. If he's looking at private colleges, they offer substantial scholarships... to pretty much everybody. I got $50,000 just for good grades. In my 4 years there, I don't think I met a single person who didn't have some sort of scholarship. My parents weren't drowning in cash, but I also didn't qualify for much financial aid outside of a measly state grant. My parents paid as they went, and I took a loan for what they couldn't cover.

Absolutely true about private colleges that they can offer more money in scholarships than public schools. Be careful though - some private colleges, due to poor financial choices, have not weathered the economic downturn quite so well. While they may still be offering scholarships, the amount or number of may have decreased because things are getting tighter with their endowments/donations/etc.

I would really advise you to get Andrew involved in the process. Don't try to be supermom and take it upon yourself to put him through college at no expense to him. That's more or less what my parents did (other than a small loan), and I wish they hadn't. I might have made different choices had I been more involved in the financial aspect. It's not that I didn't appreciate their sacrifices at the time. I just wish I'd known more.

This. And I know you will do this and do a great job with Andrew. It is hard as a teen to understand the money part of it - everything is all about the immediate, right now and understanding the future rammifications of paying for college does not sink in for awhile (well it didn't for me at least, not until I sat in on my exit interview and found out what my monthly loan payments would be 6 months after graduation!)

Here's something else I thought of. Room and board is outrageously expensive. Sure, there's something to be said about the true college experience of living on campus and socializing in the cafeteria, but you pay dearly for that. I just checked and they charge nearly $450/month for food alone and around $500/month for the opportunity to share your room with a (possibly) stinky and annoying roommate. Maybe with a boy $450 for food is not THAT bad, but he can do much better. I don't think our friends who lived off-campus were any less involved with whatever we had going on. If anything, they got a better deal because they still got to hang out in the dorms, attend all the parties, and crash there with us quite frequently.

There is a lot of research that demonstrates that living on campus is so very important to the development of college students. Can't tell you how many books and articles I've read about this in grad school, lol. It really is a formative experience and can really bring students like Andrew out of their shell. Does that mean it is for everyone? No. But sometimes schools do not engage their commuter populations well and those students kind of wind up being lost in the shuffle, unless they reach out for help themselves. And nowadays, people hook up with their potential roommates way before arriving on campus, with the help of social media and recruitment/pre-fall orientation events. You can meet someone in person, feel them out, potentially make a connection and decide to be roommates. The days of random roommate assignments are pretty much gone, lol.

I really don't recommend off-campus living. Maybe its a bias because I never did, but I went to a state school with a sizeable off-campus population. There were constant issues with security, landlord/tenant relations, parking, and roommate issues that are far more difficult to deal with when there isn't residence life staff around to help. Again, I know this is not everyone's experience, but some of what I have seen so far. My grad school, another state school, has a smaller off-campus population, but considerable town/gown issues and problems with the local police and partying.

As for vacations, jobs do get in the way of those. What I did was work only during the summers, and I had my winter and spring breaks wide open. I know you'd like to be able to pick up and go on a fun vacation during the summer, but think of it as practice for adulthood. Or you can plan the vacation at the beginning or at the end of the summer so as to not interfere with a possible job. That's also something I did.

Great point. I know some of the other posts talked about different jobs, but part of my financial aid package was work/study. I had a job where I worked in the Dean of Students Office about 10 hrs/week each semester. I got to pocket the money I made, which helped a little bit with books, buying hoodies with my college logo on them, and the occasional late-night pizza. It wasn't a lot but it was less that I had to ask my parents for. It also gave me a lot of transferrable skills and was the beginning of my career in higher education, haha. There are also internships and job shadowing opportunities to be had during winter and spring breaks at some institutions, as well as other experiences - courses, trips, etc.

Same boat, here. DD1 was determined to get into the Notre Dame's music school, but that isn't happening unless she can swing a serious scholarship. On the upside, she attends a performing arts magnet high school that works as a feeder program for ND's band. Several current ND band members (who are also former members of her band) help them out on a regular basis with various fundraisers, tutoring, band camp, etc. It's pretty cool.

Truly, I see nothing wrong with kids attending a JC/CC for a year or two prior to shipping off to a bigger school. The JC/CC near where I'm from was a really great school so maybe that skews my view, but I think it's a good choice for a lot of people. Certainly not everyone, though.

I've been inside the ND band facilities, they were pretty sweet. And the kids were pretty nice, the little that we interacted with them.

And ITA agree about junior colleges and community colleges. For some students, it is a great fit and a cost saver. They usually have artriculation agreements with area public schools about which JC/CC course will equal which state school course. There may even be discounted tuition and other programs that make the JC/CC a financially viable choice. JC/CC have experienced tremendous growth recently - some of them look and feel like 4-year schools: residence halls, honors programs, etc.

I wish you all the best as you help your children make these decisions. I will be there in a few short years (yes, I know I don't have any kids). My sister is a freshman in HS and I fully expect to be helping my dad and stepmom out a lot in this arena (as well as getting her to think critically about where she wants to go). For me, it will be all about balancing what my experiences were in college versus what college is like now, as well as trying to give her the best environment possible.

[DCJenn]

I think something like 90% of the kids who currently attend my alma mater (in the 50k range a year) are on some sort of financial assistance. In addition to the loans and scholarships, there are also jobs on campus that can go toward tuition, too. That's how I paid for three classes a semester for four straight semesters of grad school- I worked for the school. In fact, there were 7 of us living on campus in the same house and we all worked for the school in some fashion or another- asst. wrestling coach, asst. football coach, asst. librarian, me in the counseling office, etc.

Jenn

[diggitydot]

My old high school now participates in the "Running Start" program where high school juniors and seniors can take CC classes for free. Hey earn high school and college credits simultaneously. Lots of kids graduate high school with their diploma and their AA.

We were REALLY lucky that the CC nearest us rocked.

[MissCrabette]

Oh, I wouldn't really recommend living off-campus unless money is really tight. I only offered that as an alternative, but I am much more in favor of living on campus as expensive as it is. Besides, like some of you pointed out, some colleges require students to live on campus for the first year. My school apparently increased that to TWO years recently, probably in an attempt to pay for all the fancy new dorms they built. I think it takes a special kind of person to live off-campus, be involved with activities at the school, and still maintain a decent social life. It would have to be someone who is organized, disciplined, outgoing, and confident. Not many college students are that way when starting out.

I probably also wouldn't recommend JC/CC to a shy individual unless absolutely necessary from a financial standpoint. I can't imagine I would've made many friends as the new kid in a school where everyone else had known each other for two years already. Of course, you can argue that they're there to get an education, not to socialize and make friends, but I wouldn't trade my college experience for anything.

[SoonerTexan]

To reiterate even more, my roommates, hallmates, and the dorm guys upstairs were my roomies and friends for the next 3 years off campus, as well as our groomsmen and bridesmaids in our wedding. It wasn't an uncommon scenario either.

[DCJenn]

Well, there is always the Army. It worked for my husband!

J.

[houseelf]

Apparently I'm not supposed to respond to this thread because my computer has eaten it twice. GAH!

Like everyone else, we're severely underfunded and Dday is seven years away. I plan to encourage my kids to get as many credits in H.S. as possible and let them know that they get only four years paid at mom and dad's expense. I'm also going to strongly advocate for an option that marries the best credentials with the most reasonable financial package. I am only able to be a SAHM now because I didn't go to the law school of my choice and borrow an extra $100,000 in student loans. I think keeping options open by minimizing debt is important. Clarity at 18 is a rarity.

I'm curious if anyone uses or plans to use their spouse's academic institution for tuition reimbursement. We talk about this option A LOT in this house. At this rate we will still be paying on our own student loans when our kids are in college. DH's current institution offers tuition reimbursement it but I'm not totally convinced that this institution is the best option. Even though I'd love to stay in our current locale forever, I'm somewhat open to DH taking jobs with generous tuition reimbursement programs for professors for this reason. Off the top of my head, I know Wash U. and Penn still offer this. I'm wildly interested in what you all know and have experience with this. It is my understanding that the tax ramifications for tuition reimbursement are horrible (think special bonus pay rate), but it is still better than nothing. If my kids make financial responsible college choices and are responsible, I'm willing to sweeten the deal by adding something like year abroad.

Le sigh. The good news is that we will only have one kid in college at a time, over a time span of 13 years. Hold me.

[PrincessFiona]

Ha Kelly. Interesting you mention this. Part of dh and U's disagreement this w/e came about because of a call telling him of a Penn academic/teaching opening and me saying "he'll no". Maybe I need to look into this.
Side note: Andrew was one if 5 sophomores invited into the NHS. He "forgot" to get the materials in on time and missed the deadline. Someone hold me. Luanne, I'm looking to adopt a mom. Sob!!!!!!

Who FORGETS their NHS packet? The child missed ONE question in math on his pre-ACT. 99th percentile. But if his head wasn't attached to his body he would be toast. He lost three. 3. Winter coats this year. three. How does he survive?

Pouring my 4th glass of wine ....

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[DCJenn]

Kris- if it makes you feel any better, the only way I found out about a G/T assignment was that one of the [girls] parents posted it on facebook.

Jenn

[ladymoreta]

Alternatively, he could do what I did... After getting married after my freshman year, my parents' income no longer factored into the FAFSA, and we got a *lot* of grant money.

But really... I agree with the masses. Living on campus is great - I wouldn't have wanted to miss that experience. Check out scholarships at the private schools, but don't feel like you *have* to send him to one if the money just isn't there. While it may be a great experience for him, in the long run, he'll be much more grateful for you having your retirement in order than for paying for his college. (Coming from the girl who has serious doubts about both sets of parents' retirements and wondering if we're going to have to support them *and* put our kids through college *and* fund our own retirement...)

[Meenah]

Kris, Penn is in my backyard!!!!!

[DCJenn]

Kris-

Don't forget- you can always send him to your moms and claim Texas residency for him.

J.

[HouseofWool]

Kris - what about something like UW-LaCrosse? It s a smaller school but the tuition is fairly low, being part of the state system. And the school of education is supposed to be pretty good. I would think that Eau Claire would have some of the same benefits. Both are far enough away to spread his wings, but close enough that you can rescue him if he needs it.

[houseelf]

I'm googling "which colleges offer tuition reimbursement for professors" right now. With five kids this would be worth contemplating a job change.

[diggitydot]

Great idea! DH has talked about teaching again part-time after fellowship so if we can get a lower tuition rate for one or more of the kids, that would be entirely awesome.