Would you lie for your child?

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

I say good for you.

Every choice has a consequence in life...you taught your son a really important life lesson IMHO.

[DCJenn]

150% agree with the way that you handled it. I'm filing it away for future use in fact.

J.

[PrincessFiona]

I have to disagree with Thomas. Teaching kids that appearances are more important than personal integrity is not a good precedence.

I stole this line from you and said it exactly that way last night.

He sees it my way now!!!!!!!

I also argued that he needed to see the direct consequence of his behavior and that us grounding him (or something) but me being forced to lie (and him knowing I lied) would send the wrong message and would put me in a bad spot. There have been times that I have given my kids a very rare mental health day but it has been different and I have still felt weird about it. I even wonder if just getting that mental health day has sent the wrong message to them?

In any case, Alex got zeros for his morning quizzes and his teacher made him figure out the math homework that he had missed all by himself. It took him extra effort during the day. He has worked really hard to bring his vocab quizzes/language art grade up to an A- and his zero jeopardizes that because he was really on the cusp. It's a more meaningful consequence to him than if I had grounded him or taken something away ... at least I feel like it is.

Thanks for the support ... you guys actually saved a big argument last night!

Kris

[Vanquisher]

I'm impressed. I can't honestly say I would have done the same. I probably would have caved. I remember my parents occassionally giving me a pass, and it was awesome. I will think about this scenario differently now if/when it happens at our house.


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[Phoebe]

ITA agreement with you. I love natural consequences. I think saving a kid is ok in certain circumstances, but if you do it all the time, they will use you as a crutch to get out of things. Ultimately, it hurts them. Parents can't save your kids when the grow up and live on their own. Learning to take responsibility for their actions early on will help them become better problem solvers.

This website totally changed my view on parenting: www.celebratecalm.com I went to a free workshop at my daughter's preschool this winter. My kids are happier and we have less chaos.

[Deebs]

Kris - this is why being a parent is so hard. I will say this...I HOPE, facing the same situation you had to deal with , that I would do exactly the same thing. I don't know if I really would, as my kids are much younger, but I think you taught him such a valuable lesson. I think the reason so many children are growing up with a crazy sense of entitlement is that we have become a culture, in general, who shy away from the tough side of parenting. Hopefully this will teach him that he can make his own choices, but that each choice has a consequence. Good for you for having the strength to do it!

[diggitydot]

Yay for Thomas seeing the light! Woo hoo!

Really, Kris -- you handled in beautifully and I'm TOTALLY filing your approach away for future use.

Awesome.