Cell Phone Parental Controls WWYD

[peggyfromwastate]

DD15 has a cell phone and she's OK with it-- definitely texts too much. We do take away her cell regularly as a punishment.

We are going to set up parental controls on that sucker because she is being stalked by a crazy kid. Once this boy called her and she handed ME the phone. She never answers, never responds to texts. He texts her at least 20 times a day. Usually one after another. Scary. Anyway I told him to not call her, that it's time for him to move on, that she is not interested in being his friend, etc. He sounded like he was going to cry (but then he "talked back" by saying that "yea but it's just that we were best friends" which is so not true).

Anyway, he left her alone for a while, but he's back in a big way with the "If you don't answer me I'm going to kill myself" and all those types of texts.

So we are going to pay the 5$ a month to block his ass, and any other ass we need to block. We are also going to set *no texting* times--

Do you use these parental controls? Anyone? We have ATT (love my iphone). Any tips about Parental controls? I'm going to set it up tomorrow...

[scrub-jay]

I would block him. As a side note, you have to pay $5 to block numbers?! When I got my phone over 2 years ago, I apparently inherited the number from a guy who obviously lost it due to bad credit in both his personal and business life...I still get calls for this guy from RUDE debt collectors. I blocked some of the more persistent ones (who would call during kiddo's bedtime...argh!) and it is free on Verizon.

I think the *no texting* times are a great idea, but obviously haven't used that. Good luck Peggy...I'll be turning to you in a decade or so, for now, I'm jumping back into my denial cave.

[peggyfromwastate]

Lol. I am not surprised that other carriers let you block for free. But whatever. I love my iPhone so... And I know Verizon has it too now but our contracts are all tied up.

Anyway I told dd that I was going to go ahead and set up the time restrictions and she seemed almost relieved! It must be super annoying to hear the buzz all night long. She usually turns her phone off, but she has friends who text (on school nights) until 3 am or later. Sigh.

[scrub-jay]

No, I hear you, you couldn't pay me to part with my iPhone...I'm in the "bury me with it camp"... I am glad that your dd likes the idea! I know those "restrictions" back in my day (landline mind you...) did not go over so well. :blush:

[peggyfromwastate]

It just is overwhelming sometimes to her- the pressure to keep up with every conversation at all times. Now she can blame her parents when her friends ask why she didn't text back.

A) I think you're spot on. Have to called his parents? WTF is wrong with people??
B) I'm amazed you CAN block. I ended up changing my number awhile back b/c a fax machine in Minnesota kept calling me and Sprint told me I *couldn't* block it.
C) Crystal - I'll join you in the denial cave.

[Meenah]

Call his parents and report him to the school. This should keep him busy, and get him some psych evals just in case he is psych and could be tipped over to trying to hurt himself. If he did hurt himself your daughter would have to live with that guilt, if not - it gets his ass out of her life!!

[diggitydot]

AT&T has SmartLimits which allows you to limit just about everything. We put DD1's phone on it for the first 6 months she had it to train her how we wanted her to use it. We allowed her 50 texts per month and 30 minutes of talk time. That was it. And you can limit which numbers are allowed to call/text, block out usage during certain times, etc. You can adjust everything from the AT&T website, too, so it's pretty easy to use.

[mommax3]

We use smart limits on our kids' phones. They can't make/receive calls or texts past a certain time at night (different on school and non-school nights) or during the school day, except for certain numbers (mine, dh's, and a couple of other adults). The nicest thing about smart limits, imo, is that they are very easy to adjust when there are special circumstances. DH has threatened to use smart limits in my phone! Lol

[diggitydot]

Yup, we initially gave DD1 about a two-hour window of when she could talk/text. It was gradually expanded as she proved her ability to reign herself in appropriately. We discontinued the SmartLimits after about 6 months and she's been VERY conscientious ever since. She doesn't text at inappropriate times or use it as a way to disengage from those around her. It drives her batshit crazy when people send her forwarded messages (because even though she has unlimited texting now, it initially ate up her available texts), she refuses to do he one-word-per-text "conversations" that go nowhere, and texts late at night or super early in the morning get terse responses when she eventually replies.

[L.Jane]

B) I'm amazed you CAN block. I ended up changing my number awhile back b/c a fax machine in Minnesota kept calling me and Sprint told me I *couldn't* block it.

Sprint will tell you a lot of shit just so they don't have to work. Before my dad finally accepted texting, he wanted it totally blocked on the phones since we didn't pay for it. Sprint kept telling him they couldn't block texting from our phones so he just kept going higher in the ranks until he found the person that would do it for him... He might have yelled a bit too.... I wouldn't doubt that.

[Phoebe]

call his parents and report him to the school. This should keep him busy, and get him some psych evals just in case he is psych and could be tipped over to trying to hurt himself. If he did hurt himself your daughter would have to live with that guilt, if not - it gets his ass out of her life!!

ita!

[peggyfromwastate]

I don't actually know what school this kid goes to. He got her cell phone number from Kate's frenemy from middle school. They went to middle school together. I think Kate might know the school, so I think I'll just send a note to the counsellor there and they can sort it out.

He even texted her that she hadn't blocked him so he knows she's interested in what he says... Ummmm, no. It's because her dad and I can't sit down together and figure out ANYTHING bc there's no time. And bc I thought that after I told him to cut it out... that he'd have some shame... I don't know.

[diggitydot]

I'd just call the cops and let them deal with the kid. Any contact from your daughter (or by her proxy) will reinforce his deluded belief that she wants contact with him.

[HouseofWool]

I think the boy needs help. Either his is a manipulative jerkwad who needs to be taught a lesson, or he has deep issues that need to be treated. Can you ask Kate what school he attends? My gut says that he needs to be handled with kid gloves, in the sense that he may do something drastic. Talking to a counselor at either Kate's school or his would be the first step, but also contacting the local police. Depending on how overloaded they are, they might be able to put his family in contact with resources to help him.

As much as I whine about Sophie's fascination with all things girly, I am glad it is the only issue I have to contend with now. Where are we starting the commune, Syl's place or Heidi's?