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Grrr, lost original post, starting over....
Bella (11 y/o in May, 5th Grade) came home on Valentines Day uber excited because one her classmates had given her a teddy bear that said "Be Mine". Later in the day he also gave her his phone number. Appartently his mom frequently volunteers in their classroom and was there that day. She pulled Bella aside and asked her if she liked the bear because "D" had picked it out especially for her. Later in the week Bella comes home with "D"'s address saying he invited her over to his house to hang out. I blew both the phone number and the address off. Of course I'm surprised though because although she's talked about crushes in the past, "D"'s name hadn't been included on this list before.
Today my cell phone rings and there's a kid stammering on the other line. Finally the mom comes on and says, "My son is getting embarrassed. He's calling for Isabella. Is she available?" I put Bella on the phone and 5 minutes later she runs down the stairs very excited because D just invited her to the movies after school tomorrow.
I asked Bella if his mom would be going along and she said she wasn't sure, but she assumed so. I told her I would have to discuss it with DH later tonight and get back to her. Truthfully, I'm a little shocked. I wasn't at all prepared for this. I thought this stuff didn't start happening until middle school! I called DH and he's pissed she was even talking on the phone with a boy, much less being asked to go anywhere with one.
So I'm throwing this out there to you all because honestly DH and I both had parents who had effed up boundaries for us growing up so I don't exactly trust our experience on this. It seems to me this mom is completely on board and even helping facillitate this stuff. Am I overreacting/underreacting? Is this a difference between being the parent of a daughter vs. a son? Are parents of sons typically more permissive? Obviously DH and I need to come up with some rules about boys in general. He says absolutely NO dating, group, with parents, or otherwise until 16. That seems a little strict to me, I was thinking 14 for group or parental supervised dates. What say you? How about talking on the phone and visiting each other's houses?
Bella (11 y/o in May, 5th Grade) came home on Valentines Day uber excited because one her classmates had given her a teddy bear that said "Be Mine". Later in the day he also gave her his phone number. Appartently his mom frequently volunteers in their classroom and was there that day. She pulled Bella aside and asked her if she liked the bear because "D" had picked it out especially for her. Later in the week Bella comes home with "D"'s address saying he invited her over to his house to hang out. I blew both the phone number and the address off. Of course I'm surprised though because although she's talked about crushes in the past, "D"'s name hadn't been included on this list before.
Today my cell phone rings and there's a kid stammering on the other line. Finally the mom comes on and says, "My son is getting embarrassed. He's calling for Isabella. Is she available?" I put Bella on the phone and 5 minutes later she runs down the stairs very excited because D just invited her to the movies after school tomorrow.
I asked Bella if his mom would be going along and she said she wasn't sure, but she assumed so. I told her I would have to discuss it with DH later tonight and get back to her. Truthfully, I'm a little shocked. I wasn't at all prepared for this. I thought this stuff didn't start happening until middle school! I called DH and he's pissed she was even talking on the phone with a boy, much less being asked to go anywhere with one. So I'm throwing this out there to you all because honestly DH and I both had parents who had effed up boundaries for us growing up so I don't exactly trust our experience on this. It seems to me this mom is completely on board and even helping facillitate this stuff. Am I overreacting/underreacting? Is this a difference between being the parent of a daughter vs. a son? Are parents of sons typically more permissive? Obviously DH and I need to come up with some rules about boys in general. He says absolutely NO dating, group, with parents, or otherwise until 16. That seems a little strict to me, I was thinking 14 for group or parental supervised dates. What say you? How about talking on the phone and visiting each other's houses?
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