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Temporary Parent to 17yr old

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  • #1

    Temporary Parent to 17yr old

    Kudos to you with teenagers of any quantity. This shit ain't easy.

    My 17.5 year old sister has been staying with DH and I since last Sunday while she attends a university summer camp. She is a great kid - smart, kind, sweet, artistic, funny, etc. DH and I have truly enjoyed having her and we will be sad to return her to my parents on Sunday.

    So how much of this being holed up in their bedroom is normal? Like she goes in there as soon as we get home, emerges for dinner, and goes back in pretty much right after dinner. Some nights we get her to hang out in the family room with us a little bit more. Then there are other nights (like tonight) where she is already in bed and it's only 730pm.

    And tell me about this earbuds thing?! Holy cow, she constantly has them in. Constantly. Like every time we are in the car. And sometimes when she is in her room using her laptop. Is this also par for the course? I feel that it is a bit rude that she puts them in the car, especially when I am trying to converse with her. Granted, 45 minutes in the car with a chatty older sister isn't as exciting as I think it is. But she had them in this weekend while riding around with DH and I. Not cool.
    Event coordinator, wife and therapist to a peds attending
    Tags: None
  • #2
    It's normal. All of it.

    You can ask her to not plug herself in when you want to talk to her. For us we don't allow iPhone or iPod access during dinner, but after dinner and after dd17 does her chores she pretty much stays in her room. She comes out to talk to me or hang out with us sometimes-- usually weekends at 11 pm. Ugh. I'm barely coherent that late in the night...
    Peggy

    Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

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    • #3
      Yup. Normal. All of it. Well, except that she seems to be perfectly sweet instead of sassy.
      Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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      • #4
        My kids are also earbud addicts. I ask them to take them out but the "default" seems to be to have them in.

        My kids usually do something social with us after dinner before retiring to their room for the night. It might be a game or watching a show on tv that the whole family watches -

        But - it sounds pretty normal to me. I think you need to just tell her if you'd like her to interact with you more. If she refuses, that's not ok since she's your guest not your paying customer.

        It's so nice that she's able to stay with you!
        Angie
        Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
        Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

        "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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        • #5
          100% normal. If the earbuds bug you, ask her to keep one ear unplugged so she can hear if you're talking to her in the car.

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          • #6
            Really? Wow. Our rabblit kept chewing through all the Apple electrical cords. It used to annoy me, but maybe I will keep him for a higher purpose...

            Release the bunny!
            -Ladybug

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            • #7
              Ok good. I feel much better having read this!

              I knew that the earbuds were becoming a societal norm, but I just see them on campus, not in my every day life until now. She does just put one in sometimes, but not all the time. Sometimes its both. Thankfully she does not bring them to the table. And she does make conversation with us, but she is more on the quiet side than either DH or I, so we feel even more chatty than usual trying to engage her.

              She is a sweet kid, I think my brother got both copies of the sassy gene. Vanquisher - I can't imagine you having any sassy children.

              I am so thankful we got to have this time together - it has been beneficial for all of us.
              Event coordinator, wife and therapist to a peds attending

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              • #8
                My husband's younger brother started staying every summer with us when he was 13 years old. I was nervous about it at first, but it worked out fine.

                The earbuds thing: The fact that she only keeps one in at a time is good news: She's listening to what's going on around her. lol Seriously...Two earbuds in means, "Leave me alone." One earbud in means, "I am listening to you and may carry on a conversation with you." IOW She's not antisocial. lol
                Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
                With fingernails that shine like justice
                And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

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                • #9
                  Pulling this one up from the grave. I've flipped the tables. I'm the one that walks around with one ear bud. It so much better than listening to fighting, or at least it has a soundtrack now. I laughed when I saw a guy at sam's checkout with his one ear bud. I get it. Rock on.
                  -Ladybug

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