Must take a chill pill

[spaz]

I cannot get my middle on interested at all at looking at colleges. He doesn't feel the heat ( this is a kid that must have a deadline to get anything done). His father told him we would like to look at 2 or 3 this spring... Nothing. We will need to start applying somewhere in August... He's doing well in his dual credit classes. He has all A's so far in the three classes. He'll have 28 college hours at the end of this semester with dual credit.. He's taking 4 classes in the spring.

I know it is HIS life and he'll figure it out. I'm thinking he will go to oldest's college by default. He even refered to the team's big loss this weekend as we played like crap. Taking life as it comes makes for low stress for him but high stress for this ultimate planning mom...

Just needed to vent.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

This was me. Partly because I saw college as "more school", so I didn't care where I went. I visited 3 schools that my mom wanted me to go to. I changed my major from physics/engineering to anthropology to business to math/education. While I made one close friend, I don't have the same "awesome" memories of college that other people do. I think I turned out ok Can you start working on some parts of his application as assignments - like writing a personal statement. What does his brother say about college? Could that be influencing his enthusiasm? I would be stressed, too - it's the "I want you to be the most happy, fulfilled, awesome person you can be, and YOU aren't helping"


Wife of a PGY-4 Orthopod

[LadyFoot]

Would taking a gap year to work be an option? I don't have teenagers yet, but I worked for a couple of years as an admissions counselor after undergrad. I worked with some teenagers who were so burned out after high school that college was absolutely the last thing they wanted to do. Their parents gave them the option of applying for jobs along with applying for colleges with the option of taking some time off school to work. Interestingly, after looking into the working world, most of then felt college was the better option.

Good luck to you and your son! I definitely know how stressful the college search can be, for the parents and the kids!

[ladymoreta]

I like LadyFoot's suggestion. If he chooses not to do college next year, then you have a list of "rent" and "utilities" that he has to pay to continue to live with you.

GreyhoundsRUs has a good point, too. If he's content going to to his brother's school, that should be okay, right? Or do you think it's not a good fit?

[spaz]

Oh yes his only two options will be go to college or get a job. I think he wants to go to college ( doing well at the cc now) but 18 months seems like forever away to him, so why should he worry.
The college my oldest son is going to is awesome.... it is the college my husband and I went to!!!! But that said, I hate seeing him do everything with the path of least resistance. The other problem is what in the world will he major in????? And the problem is that he is going to be going off to college with 60 hours or more, so he will need to take junior/senior classes in whatever major he decides because he will have already had all of the basics. He loves history, literature and reading all about politics on the internet. He doesn't think he would like law school. ( But how would he know.) I wonder about having him take a journalism class to see what he thinks about that. HE is a very good writer and editor. But at the same time, he wants to make a good living. ( Which would take away history prof, newspaperman, etc.) He looked at a business degree and went YUCK. He is very vocal about what he doesn't like but doesn't seem to really like anything. This kid had no extra-curricular activities until I made him help at the homeless shelter. I've suggested debate, shooting club, etc They were even asking for history buffs as part of a student pane on the historical society. No go....

I'm just ready to see him excited about something rather than spending his time in his room reading presidential biographies, Civil War book, or some literature book ( read the Iliad for fun last year!!!!) in his room . ( Doesn't watch much tv or play video games other than Madden occasionally with his brother or dad.)

[diggitydot]

One of my friends is a policy guy at the Heritage Foundation. (Yeah, let that irony settle in..) He was pretty political and wicked smart when we were kids. Maybe your kiddo would excel as a poli-sci major?

[spaz]

Yeah right now he likes majoring in history or political science, but he is unsure what career he would do with those if you don't go to law school and you want to make a good living.

[SoonerTexan]

Lol that is the question isn't it (both my sister and I have history degrees that are for decoration only)

[ladymoreta]

Degrees are hard to choose. I saw many of my friends burned because they chose based purely on what interested them. One of the best things my parents got my sister and me was a book listing about 100 different careers. It had one-page blurbs with the average salary, education requirements, brief descriptions on the career path, etc.

[OrionGrad]

One of the best things my parents got my sister and me was a book listing about 100 different careers. It had one-page blurbs with the average salary, education requirements, brief descriptions on the career path, etc.

Be careful with those! I bought DH one when we were dating in high school and he decided he wanted to be an ortho surgeon based on the description. Fourteen years later, here we are.

[SoonerTexan]

What about economics?

[ladymoreta]

Be careful with those! I bought DH one when we were dating in high school and he decided he wanted to be an ortho surgeon based on the description. Fourteen years later, here we are.

Hahahaha! Okay, maybe not!

[Ladybug]

What really struck me about your post is that your title reflects behavior modifications that only you can control and make. That's huge. You both will be fine. Carry on.

[PrincessFiona]

I honestly think you're okay as far as timing/planning goes and that his reaction is fairly typical. It is still early days. From the rest of your post, it sounds like he is doing pretty well in school and is motivated academically. I'm not sure I'd pull out the big guns just yet: find a college or get a job.

Personally, I would just start bringing up a college a night at the dinner table. You could all chat about the pros and cons without there being pressure to visit in the Spring just yet.

Light the fire and then let him work through some of the details in his mind this Winter. I would start asking for a list a month before you plan on visiting....but that's me.

Kris

[diggitydot]

We found with our oldest that she wasn't sure HOW to go about looking into schools and for some reason was hesitant to ask for any help. Once we got her beyond that hump, she was off and running researching all the details for applications, requirements, and programs.

I also think your kiddo sounds pretty normal. Some people just don't get too amped up over things.