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  • #1

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    I have tried everything. Everything. to get a ride home for the kids starting in October. My only option left is a taxi. I'm heartbroken over this and Thomas has said absolutely no. I put an hour into my schedule 3 days a week to pick them up, but this has caused my relationship with my boss to hit an all time low. She barely speaks to me. It's just awful. Today I had an emergency pick-up situation and amanda had to cancel her plans to pick zoe up. I don't dare ask my boss. What do working moms do? What should I do?

    Kris


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss
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  • #2
    Originally posted by PrincessFiona View Post
    I have tried everything. Everything. to get a ride home for the kids starting in October. My only option left is a taxi. I'm heartbroken over this and Thomas has said absolutely no. I put an hour into my schedule 3 days a week to pick them up, but this has caused my relationship with my boss to hit an all time low. She barely speaks to me. It's just awful. Today I had an emergency pick-up situation and amanda had to cancel her plans to pick zoe up. I don't dare ask my boss. What do working moms do? What should I do?

    Kris


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Are there aftercare programs? My kids go to aftercare, where they can stay until 6. I have flexible hours, so I usually pick them up by 4, but it's nice to have that option, at least.
    Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

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    • #3
      No aftercare. I am also searching madly for other jobs. I spend an hour of my work day on Indeed. Jobs aren't made for moms. How do moms do this? I should have become a teacher. Damn.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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      • #4
        Everyone I know has kids in aftercare or has someone else to pick up the kids, either extended family or a nanny. I don't know how people do it otherwise. It's a problem. J and I have discussed where we might live if we stay here, and one option would be to live in a suburb, then then I realized there was no way I could commute and still pick up the kids at reasonable hours, or be available if they got sick or needed to be picked up, so I told him that wasn't going to be an option, that I have to live and put the kids in school relatively close to where I work, and if he works somewhere else, he has to do the commuting.
        Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

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        • #5
          Transportation

          Most working professionals that I know here have parents and siblings to help out. Aftercare ends here after 5th grade. Our kids go to a private school and the bus stop is quite a way from our house. I've tried care.com, sitter city, the local high school, emails to all of our school's parents .... I'm out of ideas. Our neighbor attends SJP and her daughter is in Zoe's class. I offered to carpool and she wasn't interested.


          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
          ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
          ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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          • #6
            Local families here use the Boys & Girls Club for care until 5:30 or 6, or the one local daycare (which also does afterschool), or nannies. I'm so sorry that this is a challenge for you. For summer care, one family I know just let their fourth-going-on-fifth kids hang out during the days with a kid going in to 6th or 7th. :\
            Alison

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            • #7
              I'm so sorry. I'm confused as to how Thomas gets to set the rules, but do nothing to help. Can you give him the choice of picking them up or paying for help? You should not have to shoulder all of this on your own.
              Luanne
              wife, mother, nurse practitioner

              "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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              • #8
                I know Luanne. He says it's all my fault for going back to school. I made my bed. I have to lie in it. :/


                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                • #9
                  I agree with Luanne. It doesn't matter that you went to school. He went to school too and chose a career too. The kids belong to both of you. He needs to be helping you in this somehow.
                  Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

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                  • #10
                    Amanda has stepped up and offered to pick the kids up until at least December. She had been busy with campus stuff. I made a plea to her and offered money as well as gas. She is pretty desperate so she said yes. I at least have a temporary solution.


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                    • #11
                      Probably a stupid question and may be too late now that school has started but could you call the bus company and talk to them about modifying the route? Since you have two kids on the bus it seems like they should be able to drop them closer to home but I know a private system is different than public schools. So sorry you are dealing with this on top of all your work crap. When I worked I had to have the kids in full time care. Even then it was tough if I had a meeting that ran late because I had to rush to get them before they closed. Most of my sons friends who's parents all work have them in aftercare and/or have family that helps. I think it's harder when they are older because you don't need care for them all the time and there are far fewer options. Glad you were able to work something out for the short term.


                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                      Wife of Anesthesiology Resident

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                      • #12
                        Nannies at great expense, that's the only way many working parents can do it. Do you have a local YMCA? They run a lot of afterschool programs here. Or JCC. School is totally not designed for modern working parents, it's designed for farms where they needed the kids to help after school.

                        I agree with everyone above though that said this is a family problem (you and Thomas) and not just yours. He also chose to go to school and have 5 kids. He needs to give up money or time to alleviate this situation. What if during training you'd told him to pick up the kids or do breakfast with them every morning and he had to figure it out because "it was his fault he went to school". That wouldn't be fair. He has to co parent.


                        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                        Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
                        Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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                        • #13
                          Sorry it is so tough. I would help if I lived closer. I am annoyed with your boss for being passive aggressive about your family needs. Thomas' reaction isn't helpful. It seems like he usually reacts this way to change and/or the family needs and then steps up. Does he work with any staff who have kids who are of driving age?


                          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                          Needs

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                          • #14
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                            Your boss' reaction is juvenile. But on some level I can understand her quandary as a business person too. Most of her patients probably want to come in the afterschool hours so you not being able to work then is very problematic. Really we just need better systems in place or to adjust the school schedule to meet the realities of modern working parents.


                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                            Last edited by TulipsAndSunscreen; 09-06-2017, 02:13 PM.
                            Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
                            Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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                            • #15
                              [MENTION=1521]civilspouse[/MENTION] The bus drives by our neighborhood. Weeks before school started I called and asked. They will not.


                              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                              ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                              ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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