Available at 
Tweet
How do you strike a balance for teens to provide boundaries yet give them the space to make their own decisions? At what point or age do you stop providing guidance and/or suggestions and place demands to steer them down a certain path?
My DD14 in the 8th grade, has struggled the last couple of years. She is one of the smartest people I know, but school isn’t her thing. Her passion is horseback riding. Her social circle suffers because peers at the barn where she spends her free time mostly go to different schools. Classmates aren’t interested in hearing about her equestrian experiences because they can’t relate. Middle school has been tough for her. She lacks self-confidence and interest in academics. She rarely comes home with homework or prepares for tests. Her teachers speak positively of her, but her grades reflect the poor test performance. We have given her the opportunity to do things her way. I have been the helicopter parent, babysitter, provided incentives, and consequences. Nothing has made a substantial impact for her.
Lately, her time is at home is spent sleeping, on her phone and watching Netflix. Her interest in riding has diminished mostly because it is cold and there aren’t any competitions at this time. These are symptoms of depression, but her mood is good overall. She has made friends at school this year but they aren’t the type of kids you would pick out for your child to hang out with.
We feel she has too much time on her hands, can’t separate herself from social media and doesn’t have the self confidence to try a new activity where there is interest. Her priorities are not in the right place. How do you gently nudge a child in a different direction without twisting their arm? She cannot see the big picture as much as we explain that grades count towards college admission starting next year. She wants to do well but doesn’t want to put in the effort for things that aren’t interesting. Study skills aren’t going to automatically appear in high school.
If I had my way she would have 3 things:
1. Limited screen time and a phone detox
2. A tutor or classes for study skills to figure out the most effective way to learn
3. Participation in a school sport or activity to strengthen her social interaction and keep her busy.
Suggesting gets us nowhere. Putting restrictions on her make it harder on the parents because she is relentless and finds ways around restrictions. Did I mention she is smart? I am at the point where I want to let her reep what she sows. How do you navigate this?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My DD14 in the 8th grade, has struggled the last couple of years. She is one of the smartest people I know, but school isn’t her thing. Her passion is horseback riding. Her social circle suffers because peers at the barn where she spends her free time mostly go to different schools. Classmates aren’t interested in hearing about her equestrian experiences because they can’t relate. Middle school has been tough for her. She lacks self-confidence and interest in academics. She rarely comes home with homework or prepares for tests. Her teachers speak positively of her, but her grades reflect the poor test performance. We have given her the opportunity to do things her way. I have been the helicopter parent, babysitter, provided incentives, and consequences. Nothing has made a substantial impact for her.
Lately, her time is at home is spent sleeping, on her phone and watching Netflix. Her interest in riding has diminished mostly because it is cold and there aren’t any competitions at this time. These are symptoms of depression, but her mood is good overall. She has made friends at school this year but they aren’t the type of kids you would pick out for your child to hang out with.
We feel she has too much time on her hands, can’t separate herself from social media and doesn’t have the self confidence to try a new activity where there is interest. Her priorities are not in the right place. How do you gently nudge a child in a different direction without twisting their arm? She cannot see the big picture as much as we explain that grades count towards college admission starting next year. She wants to do well but doesn’t want to put in the effort for things that aren’t interesting. Study skills aren’t going to automatically appear in high school.
If I had my way she would have 3 things:
1. Limited screen time and a phone detox
2. A tutor or classes for study skills to figure out the most effective way to learn
3. Participation in a school sport or activity to strengthen her social interaction and keep her busy.
Suggesting gets us nowhere. Putting restrictions on her make it harder on the parents because she is relentless and finds ways around restrictions. Did I mention she is smart? I am at the point where I want to let her reep what she sows. How do you navigate this?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Comment