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Attn: Horticulturally inclined

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  • Attn: Horticulturally inclined

    Any suggestions for a good / low maintenance / fast growing privacy shrub? I'm SICK TO DEATH of the a$$hole diagonally back from me calling the HOA on us b/c of stupid stuff (today's letter: kiddie pool must be stored in the garage, no riding mower in the yard -- not even ours). DH and I are thinking about digging up the crappy flower beds that surround the patio (crappy b/c we both hate gardening), and planting some sturdy privacy shrubs.

  • #2
    I have no suggestions that don't involve illegal weaponry but DAMN- does he have nothing to do? Because if that's the case, send him on down to SA because I have lots of thing he could do to keep himself occupied.

    asshat.

    kiddie pool? He's complaining about a kiddie pool? That has such bad karma to it that I'm not sure that you should even drive on the same streets he does. Someone will be struck by lightning and you don't want to be there. or maybe you do but at a safe distance.

    Jenn

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    • #3
      I have a black thumb so I won't be any help, but go to any good nursery and ask them - they'll know.

      What a jerk!
      Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by DCJenn
        I have no suggestions that don't involve illegal weaponry but DAMN- does he have nothing to do? Because if that's the case, send him on down to SA because I have lots of thing he could do to keep himself occupied.

        asshat.

        kiddie pool? He's complaining about a kiddie pool? That has such bad karma to it that I'm not sure that you should even drive on the same streets he does. Someone will be struck by lightning and you don't want to be there. or maybe you do but at a safe distance.

        Jenn
        sadly he doesn't have anything better to do. he retired shortly after we moved in, and this is the 2nd HOA nastygram we've gotten courtesy of him. he is the ONLY house who can see what gets bitched about. I refer to him as Mr. Happy, b/c when he's come over to complain about the dog barking (mid-day, not for an extended period of time ... like I was maybe in the bathroom when he started barking) he just bitches and leaves - never even introduces himself. Last time I said to his back "Pleasure to meet you!" One day this summer when Bruce was barking and Jacob was trying to get him in, Jacob said "Sorry Mr. Happy!"

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        • #5
          Get bamboo, the kind that SPREADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          Luanne
          wife, mother, nurse practitioner

          "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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          • #6
            Plant it on the property line so that it spreads into his yard!!!! OK, probably evil, but I like the idea.
            Luanne
            wife, mother, nurse practitioner

            "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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            • #7
              I can think of a few things that will keep him from snooping but they aren't plants.

              I like the bamboo idea. Will it do ok in your climate? Or some sort of evergreen (but not juniper) hedge? Holly trees? There is another one I can't think of right now.

              Those butterfly bushes grow fast but I think they are just about weeds.

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              • #8
                I think it needs to have thorns so if dickhead decides to snoop up close he'll take an eye out. (and the way to ensure small people don't do the same is to then plant something lower and softer in front)

                Jenn

                Man, where's Janet when we need her? Isn't she the landscaping goddess?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Pollyanna
                  Originally posted by Luanne123
                  Get bamboo, the kind that SPREADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                  Good idea!

                  I don't get all these places that don't have walls/fences in their backyards. It's so true that good fences make good neighbors, and a couple hundred acres doesn't hurt either.
                  I love our walled property...the neighbors around here, haven't been that friendly from the start, so I don't mind it at all!




                  Jenn, Can you install one of those nice new privacy fences that are made of vinyl?

                  http://www.vinylfenceanddeck.com/pro...acy/index.html
                  scroll down to the bottom of the page when you get there because they have some better photos. If you can go this route, then you won't have to worry about maintaining /pruning any shrub/vegitation. These are asthetically pleasing, a lot of HOAs will allow these , because they don't fade and fall apart like wood ones do over time.

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                  • #10
                    No way. All fences have to be cedar - and we already have a fence. They also can't be more than 4' high. We're looking for what to put immediately around our patio, just to sheild where our family spends time from his view. I should take some pictures later.

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                    • #11
                      I think there is a shrub called Arbovoria.....or something like that. It's evergreen and grows fast. Someone recommended it to us as a hedge.

                      I'd look on the gardenweb site. They have a very active community.
                      Angie
                      Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
                      Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

                      "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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                      • #12
                        nothing to add....except he is an asshole and needs a life.
                        ~shacked up with an ob/gyn~

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                        • #13
                          Arbor vitae is totally the way to go; they stay skinny and green, so they're great for hiding stuff. Do keep them trimmed, though; they'll get really tall if you let them.
                          Sandy
                          Wife of EM Attending, Web Programmer, mom to one older lady scaredy-cat and one sweet-but-dumb younger boy kitty

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                          • #14
                            Hey,

                            I just saw this. I hope you weren't refering to me. I do a lot of gardening, but I'm winging it all the way. I learned form my mom and she was winging it too. :P Must be another Janet around here.

                            Sometimes nothing beats a good old fashioned fence, but I did put dwarf spruce on our deck here. In the planters it provides about three feet of shielding and is fullest in the base of the plant -about a foot and a half from the deck. It's also evergreen...which is probably not an issue where you are. It looks tailored. I use them to offset the toys on the deck that add to the haggard/disheveled look.

                            I can't believe someone was complaining about a kiddie pool. I agree about it being bad karma.

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                            • #15
                              Arbor vitae.....that's totally what I meant. Do that!
                              Angie
                              Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
                              Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

                              "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

                              Comment

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