Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

[Vishenka69]

I also need some help with social etiquette in the boonies. The house comes with a private road that belongs to the property. There are 5 other houses that have a right to egress and regress and an official maintenance agreement for the road between all the houses. We want to hire a snow/ice removal service and will need to re-gravel in the spring. How do I introduce myself to the new neighbors and bring this up? The sellers told us that snow/ice was removed by some of the owners and they all chipped in for re-graveling. When we were there a week ago, the road was an icy mess. That's totally unacceptable to us but as per the maintenance agreement we'd like everyone to chip in for at least the basic stuff. The lawyer who handled the closing advised us not to bring it up right off the bat and make nice first.

How do I make nice and when do I bring it up?

My previous experience with neighbors included ignoring them, screaming at them and calling the cops on them. I never had to make friends or be nice to or even acknowledge the existence of any of my neighbors.

[MrsK]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

ITA. Definitely don't bring it up first thing. In fact, I'd wait a long time to bring it up -- until you have an actual rapport with your neighbors. Maybe, after some time and you feel closer to one or more of the neighbors, you can start feeling them out. For all you know, this could be a sore subject in the past and you don't want to stir anything up until you know the facts and parties involved. Also, there may be a neighborhood meeting or something that will give you a perfect opportunity to bring it up.

Get a plant, or some cookies, or something and start introducing yourself to the neighbors. Be friendly and remember that you'll be living with these people for a long time.

[ladymoreta]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

Something baked (cookies, bread, etc.) would be nice. I wouldn't bring it up the first time you talk to them, but some of them might mention it. Since your property is responsible for the maintenance, the previous owners might have let it go, and they'll be happy to hear that you plan on doing maintenance.

[Meenah]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

All great ideas, but shouldn't they be baking and coming to your house to welcome you? :huh:

[MrsK]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

All great ideas, but shouldn't they be baking and coming to your house to welcome you? :huh:

ITA. Do people still do that?

[Michele]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

Here in the deep south they do!

[Meenah]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

I do, but then again I'm from the South! Now that I think about it, noone here did that for me

[Vishenka69]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

Technically, according to the agreement all the houses on the drive have to chip in for the maintainence of the drive, even though we own it. So I'm not asking them to do me a favor by pitching in, they have to. I just want to be nice about it. The houses are also pretty far apart, so being in the front yard, nobody will see me. I guess I can go around with something small and introduce myself.

[ladymoreta]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

I do, but then again I'm from the South! Now that I think about it, noone here did that for me

When we moved here, the only one to come by and bring food was our neighbor from Korea! I wish I'd gone around and introduced myself to everyone, but I ended up getting a job a lot faster than I thought I would, so I was super-busy right after moving and just didn't get around to it. In my other neighbors' defense, maybe they tried to come by but we were at work?

Good luck Vishenka! I bet they're looking forward to having you move in. They've probably been wishing it would be done sooner.

[DCJenn]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

Go with nice. Cookies, etc. and out in the boonies you never know whether they drink or not so stick with food. (downtown, that's apparently never a problem.)

Jenn

[Vishenka69]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

They are all older and yeah, there are tons of people here who don't drink. I find it weird too.

Another question. We'll be renovating for a couple of months. Do I wait to move in before making the rounds? Obviously if I see them earlier, I'll introduce myself then. I already met one of them when my car got stuck on their neglected drive and one of the neighbors had to back me out to the road.

[Phoebe]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

When you introduce yourself to the neighbors, if it fits the situation this is what I would do (taken from how I interpreted your post). I would play dumb. Say the sellers told you that everyone pitched in for snow removal/gravel maintenance and wondered who you should pay for your share. Then when it is said there is no snow removal you could suggest that you could organize the shared removal if people are interested. That way you bring it up like you are trying to be helpful instead of hitting up people for money.

Just a suggestion.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Re: Clueless new homeowner - Question #3

I like it The new girl just trying to figure things out (after getting stuck...so you have another excuse to bring it up!)