Cleaning the house

So I have a question regarding doing things around the house (cleaning and whatnot)

how do you manage? Do you give DH/DB just a tiny couple of things to do while doing the most yourself? Do you have a maid? How do you keep the house/apartment clean and tidy? Thanks.

FYI- i am a grad student and when i'm not in school/lab, I'm reading or doing homework.

[ladymoreta]

To be perfectly honest, cleaning the house is one thing that we kind of let go... Not (usually) to the point of being dirty, but at least messier than either of us would like. We do little things like de-clutter as we have time, and I try to clean some on on his call nights, but unless we're having people over, our house is not *clean*.

When it comes to doing a thorough cleaning, we usually pick a day that we're both home and split up duties. But if it's something sudden, like our parents telling us on Wednesday that they're coming for the weekend, then whoever has time will do it. So I guess I'm saying that for us, cleaning is more of a planned event than a daily chore. We try to divide it up if possible, and stay on top of the big stuff - like not letting dirty dishes build up or the bathrooms get gross. But there's a week old pile of mail on our table that I honestly couldn't care any less about right now.

[poky]

DH owns washing dishes (we don't have a dishwasher) and taking the garbage out.
I own bills and laundry and general tidying and putting away the dishes.
We split the cat care; one person feeds+meds, the other cleans out the litter boxes each evening (usually trading off every other night).
Anything else...is anyone's guess. He probably does a little more of the cooking than I do. We run the roomba when the floors get gross and/or people are coming over, I wipe down the kitchen surfaces as I'm waiting for things to cook.

Right now, I'm unemployed, and before that I was working from home, and he's on research, so we both have more time than money. When I was working, we had people come in once a month for deep cleaning.

The key, for us, is not having too much stuff, having a place for what stuff we do have, and spending 5-10 minutes a day putting stuff back in its place. That takes care of the "tidy", at least, and when things are tidy, the "clean" part doesn't take very long.

The trick is getting to that point, if you have a lot of stuff that's already very untidy. What got us there was moving 2500 miles and not unpacking more than would fit in the house (we donated a lot to goodwill when we got here).

ETA: if/when DH's schedule is such that he's not around when his things have to get done, I'll pick up some of his slack...but the expectation is set that those are "his" tasks, and if/when he has the time, he will do them. He knows better than to expect a free ride at home just because he's training to be a doctor. His classmates without spouses still have to do their own dishes, after all. And their laundry and bills, too, so he actually has it easy (and to his credit, he knows it).

[DCJenn]

Her name is Juanita and she comes on Wednesdays.

I keep on top of the kitchen stuff, my husband is the Dish boy and we share vacumming duties. (2 50 pound dogs that shed a LOT, plus two and a half cats [outdoor kitty that I bring inside during bad weather])

I could do it- but I would rather not get pissed off about having to do it all. Once the DC hosue goes back on the market though (i.e. no renters) i'm going to have to reduce expenses again. I'm not sure that I can let go of Juanita.

Jenn

[Finding Equanimity]

DH owns washing dishes (we don't have a dishwasher) and taking the garbage out.
The key, for us, is not having too much stuff, having a place for what stuff we do have, and spending 5-10 minutes a day putting stuff back in its place. That takes care of the "tidy", at least, and when things are tidy, the "clean" part doesn't take very long.

TOTALLY agree about being as clutter-free as possible and keeping up with the tidying every day.

I'm a total neat-nick and I've had to accept that my husband is less neat. I have let some things go, but by having very few things and having a place for everything, I've made peace with the state of my house, even if it's not as clean as I'd like.

[Finding Equanimity]

Her name is Juanita and she comes on Wednesdays.

LOL. I should also mention that cleaning was a HUGE source of tension in my marriage, and I now have someone come once a month.

It seriously is worth every penny. We never fight about cleaning any more. Yes, I still have to clean in between our cleaning lady's visits, but I never am resentful any more. It's just not as big of a job anymore. And my husband is so happy that (1) I'm happy the house is clean and (2) I've stopped fighting and being upset at him about cleaning.

Even if you can only afford cleaning help quarterly, or even for a big occasion like out of town visitors coming, it's worth it!

[scrub-jay]

I am with Laurie/LadyMoreta - our house stays somewhat tidy, but not immaculate! Our biggies that always get done (daily) are the dishes and a quick pass on the counters and the cat litter box. Bathrooms don't seem to follow a schedule, but both of us chip in as needed (by wiping down the counter, emptying the trash, sinks, etc). Mail and paperwork? Currently forming a physical monster that may take over at any second. We are working to convert to a better filing system before the baby arrives (as she'll need the office for her room).

It will be nice to be able to afford a housecleaner, but for now, we are making it work.

[oceanchild]

I do most of the cleaning, because I care more. Something we've figured out about marriage is that usually the person who cares more wins, for better or for worse. It's easier than fighting over it.

There are chores DH does - yardwork, grocery shopping, we split pet care, he cooks a lot - but he's really bad about cleaning. I try and clean every other week, which works as long as we keep up with the clutter.

[Flynn]

When it was just us (no kids) I did everything -- cleaning included.

DH had hours home (to sleep) not days during training so honestly he couldn't have done anything anyway. He took the trash out (mostly) and occasionally shopped for groceries.

After we had kids I got a cleaning person. It was the best money I've ever spent.

[SuzySunshine]

We bit the bullet and hired a cleaning service right before the end of the year - I just couldn't keep up with 2!

[Cumberland]

My DH hired someone a few months ago-her interviewed her and everything! She comes for five hours every other week and will do anything during that time. I usually have the laundry washed and get her to fold it and put it away- that is SO wonderful for me. Then she does the cleaning- for me the clutter and laundry are bigger issues than dirtiness. She came right after we got back from the holidays and there wasnt too much for her to do so she unpacked and put away our luggage and started organizing our basement storage room. Seriously, I was in heaven!!

Our housecleaners come every other week. Those two women have saved my sanity. Once our second child was on the move, I couldn't keep up anymore and just got tired of being embarrassed when company showed up unannounced. Dh and I split the rest of the housework (trash, dishes, etc.) and the yardwork. He handles the bills and I do the grocery shopping. I usually cook dinner and he handles breakfast if he's home.

[Vishenka69]

We hired a cleaning woman a few weeks after moving in together. That was 12 years ago. The only times we didn't have any cleaning help was when I was unemployed and not pregnant (2 years out of 12). For me attempting to do all the housework while working full time ended up leading to a lot of resentment and huge fights. It just wasn't worth it.

So I have been thinking about this for awhile now. I work way too many hours to keep up with the house... and we both don't like the mess. I have gotten quotes anywhere from $10.00/hour to a flat rate of $120.00. If you don't mind sharing, how much do you pay for your help? If you think this is too personal to share that is o.k..

Thank you so much. I have thought that we should hire help, but honestly thought it was my lack of time management. Glad to hear many other have done it or have just dealt with the the house being "ok."

It's just great to hear I'm not alone. I think I will look at the prices for getting someone to just come into the apartment once every 2 weeks.