Tidying up and KonMari

[spotty_dog]

Okay, I'm starting a new thread because I feel like I'm a huge thread hijacker lately. It's just that all summer I've been anticipating the kids going back to school as my big kick-off for making my house both neater and more personal. [MENTION=5078]gcuthbe1[/MENTION] and [MENTION=1924]OrionGrad[/MENTION] have mentioned this method, I don't know if anyone else has read the book (The life-changing magic of tidying up) or has input.

We moved this summer, so I sort of cleared the deck and purged as much as possible during the packing process. Now we're trying to live minimally since we're moving again in a year anyway.
Having clutter really makes me feel weighed down, so it's a no brainier for me to want to have as little as possible. I've also noticed since we moved that it's so much easier to keep the kid stuff picked up when there just literally is less of it.
The hardest part is DH's paper-stuff, since I can't just go throw it in the trash when he's not looking. We also share a closet now, which is frustrating. (I like my closet tidy and sparse!) I haven't really found a solution for that.

I actually don't mind clutter -- or more, I don't have a very sensitive trigger for how much stuff on surfaces is too much, plus I like a certain cozy sense of lived-in-ness and abundance in my home. But I do feel the psychological weight of stuff I keep out of a sense of obligation, and the overwhelmingness of not really knowing how much stuff I *have* (eg. things that are stored in multiple locations.) And I do like for it to be *possible* to restore the house to a state of calm and things-put-away.

Today I tackled my towels and sheets. Actually, I'm taking a break from tackling them -- I have decided what's joyful or essential enough to keep it, piled the rest for donation, and I'm going to fold what's left and then decide how to reorganize the linen closet as I put it back. I figured out a way to fold my sheets in sets that stack way better than my previous "tuck sets into a pillowcase", so that's exciting.

We purge kid things regularly, but I think the "sparks joy" idea is going to allow us to let a lot more stuff go. I just worry about teaching them a poor lesson if I tell them to throw out the things that don't interest them right now, and I don't know how to deal with clothes and toys they'll still grow into.

[scrub-jay]

I am huge on this topic. The KonMari wasn't really my style, but I read various functional minimalism blogs to keep me motivated. I hijacked one of the other threads and shared my perspective a bit. I love the "essential minimalism" or "functional minimalism" style that allows for you to define your own minimalism. We follow the rule "does it make you happy or serve a functional purpose?" I LOVE the capsule wardrobe so my dd, DH and I all adopted it (DS is 2.5 and goes through too many outfits in a day currently!) DH and I share a tiny tiny closet and since we've both gone capsule, we just don't notice the size anymore.

As for kid stuff, teaching my kids to choose what truly brings joy has been life changing for dd (5 years). She brought me a box the other day and said "I don't need or like this stuff, can we give it to kids that might like it more than me?" I never had that attitude as a kid, it was awesome.

[OrionGrad]

Removing everything from my shelves except the pieces I TRULY LOVE was really eye opening for me. I used to "style" my bookshelves, and in some ways they probably looked better, but you really don't notice your favorite picture frames and vases when they're sitting alongside so many other random things from TJ Max and Home Goods. (Not that I don't love those stores, I just tend to go overboard with buying stuff when I'm in there.)

[spotty_dog]

I will google "functional minimalism" for sure. I followed Leo Babauta for a while and I have one of his books, but "have as little stuff as possible" isn't really the message I need. "The resonance your stuff makes with you is a real thing and you should listen to it," was the one that moved me from Kondo. I think because I'm in this place of trying to define my own style and preferences right now, learning to trust my feelings about which things I find beautiful and moving. (Most of the stuff I'm suddenly feeling liberated to let go is stuff I've received as hand-me-downs.)

[scrub-jay]

Tidying up and KonMari

I used some of Leo Babauta's suggestions, but I know what you mean. I wish I could remember where I got the buzzword "functional minimalism." I remember reading Joshua Becker's "Clutterfree with Kids" and thinking that maybe it was possible to live with less and still have happy kids.
Kondo's overarching message resonated with me too, I just deviated from her implementation method. I totally understand the defining your own style too, most of our house were from college and parental hand-me downs. Obviously we're not redecorating or buying much (residency), but we're shedding things we've acquired just to match the old hand me downs that never were our style. If it is still useful, we are keeping it, but we're using this opportunity to discuss and define our style together. Plus, any more moves in the future should be lighter. We don't want to pay thousands of dollars to move stuff we're so-so about in the future.

[alotofyarn]

I need to do more reading around to motivate me. We have so.much.stuff, and the important things aren't really well organized. Hubby is onboard though, so I just need some time to work on it some more.

[spotty_dog]

Yeah, between feeling kind of obligated to embrace minimalism/not consume, and taking the "live like a resident" advice a little too seriously, we are 6 years out of training and still loathe to replace perfectly functional stuff. Our parents are in a downsizing phase, so MIL keeps offering us things (like multiple sets of bath towels, or a warming plate for serving dishes) and my mom has two full storage units of which about half is stuff she's "saving for me" (and while that waits for her to sort it, she likes to give me and the kids clothes, hand down kitchen things that she's replaced, hand down electronics she's replaced...)

Doing the towels and sheets today was remarkably liberating. I even folded things by Kondo's principles. It's a start.

[MrsInTheMiddle]

I read Kondo's book as well and was inspired to tackle clutter. I agree with her that you kind of just have to jump in and tackle a category rather than a room. Her whole bit about removing the contents from your handbag each night to let them rest was a little out there for me.

My mom likes keep everything that's still "good", and she's been "saving" things for me from every deceased grandparent and items from my childhood. I have never asked for this, other than agreeing to one day take custody of grandma's china. DH and I were gone from our home state for 10 years, and when we first moved back mom thought it would be a great idea to try pushing some of this stuff on me. We live in a small apartment, so a rubbermaid tote with cabbage patch dolls and other things for the past really don't have a place. Making space for things out of guilt is tiresome.

I'm taking off of work on Friday and I am going to do some purging and try to only keep the things that bring me joy! Keep up the good work ladies!

[spotty_dog]

I'm really itching to get back to it, to be honest. I've already "booked" the kids for clothes-purging sessions this weekend, and in anticipation I'm going to get DS either a dresser or some organizing boxes for his shelves, because the "pile it until the stacks slide into each other" method is NOT working. I need a dresser for my things too, or else to purge the athletic clothes and hobby things out of the dressers I already have. >.<

And you know...I rolled my eyes the first time she mentioned emptying her handbag. But I'm in the chapter now where she really advocates for it, and it makes me go "hm". I have to admit I'm very prone to getting swamped with loose change and old receipts in my purse. On the other hand though, I'm not a "purse" person -- I carry the same bag day in and day out so it'd be pretty inefficient to go to the trouble to store it empty instead of putting it on its hook with the stuff inside. Anyway, we'll see when I get to that level of tidying detail.

[Sheherezade]

Yeah, between feeling kind of obligated to embrace minimalism/not consume, and taking the "live like a resident" advice a little too seriously, we are 6 years out of training and still loathe to replace perfectly functional stuff. Our parents are in a downsizing phase, so MIL keeps offering us things (like multiple sets of bath towels, or a warming plate for serving dishes) and my mom has two full storage units of which about half is stuff she's "saving for me" (and while that waits for her to sort it, she likes to give me and the kids clothes, hand down kitchen things that she's replaced, hand down electronics she's replaced...)

Doing the towels and sheets today was remarkably liberating. I even folded things by Kondo's principles. It's a start.

We live the same life. Except, my parents ship stuff to me without asking. Even at my advanced age, I'm still "afraid" to get rid of some of it. A lot is handed down from great grandparents etc, so there is some obligation to hold on to the family heritage. I also holding a virtual museum of family memorabilia from the 1700s on. I keep thinking I'll digitize.

I don't know how I got stuck with all this.


Angie

[DrBandMe]

I'm reading KonMari for book club in October and I'm excited. I've joined some KM facebook groups and it is inspirational. After our move here, I realized we have so much stuff we don't need or use or really even want anymore.

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[oceanchild]

I've read about 2/3 of Life Changing Magic (also for book club), and it definitely resonates with me. I feel like I need to set aside a time and really tackle some things. It's definitely going to be my approach when we (hopefully) get a new house next year. My husband, unfortunately, is not interested in minimalism or reducing clutter or anything like that. And my 2-year-old is, well, 2. But I'd like to at least get my own closet down to only things I love.

[spotty_dog]

We live the same life. Except, my parents ship stuff to me without asking. Even at my advanced age, I'm still "afraid" to get rid of some of it. A lot is handed down from great grandparents etc, so there is some obligation to hold on to the family heritage. I also holding a virtual museum of family memorabilia from the 1700s on. I keep thinking I'll digitize.

I don't know how I got stuck with all this.


Angie

I hear you. Honestly, people who offer me stuff *will* take no for an answer, but I still feel obligated to politely receive what they offer, if only to remove from them the burden of what to do with it. But then that's on me and I'm not well-equipped for it.

That's one of the cool things about this though. I actually feel empowered to tackle all that emotionally-heavy stuff. Or at least, I feel like a few more sessions with easier things like towels and books will hone the skills I need to tackle it. Kondo's discussion about the "purpose" of things (and how it's not always to be kept in anticipation of later use or from fear of missing it later), and about "releasing their energy", is a bit twee. But it's also kind of convincing.

[spotty_dog]

Got my son to go through his shirts. Me: "It's not about what's new or not, or what you think you might want later. It's about what makes you happy that you have it in your drawer." After we're done going through every shirt: "Um, mom, I got rid of some stuff because I know I need to, but that happy thing? I don't know how it's supposed to make me happy...it's just CLOTHES."

Apparently joy is not readily sparked in 8-year-olds.

I went through my own socks and underwear, and now I can close the drawer easily for the first time in years, as well as seeing what's there in a glance!

[spotty_dog]

Went through all my clothes except athletic stuff. Phew! I'd thought I had about the minimum wardrobe a person can have, but I still managed a massive (bigger than 30 gallon) trash bag of things to donate, plus a paper grocery bag of nicer/newer things to consign. I'm definitely in the market for some basic t-shirts now, so Labor Day sales here I come!