Of broken clocks and other clutter

[ballibeg]

How do you manage when you are given junk under the premise of inheritance? DW's dad was desperately trying to clear the house after his brother's funeral yesterday and his tactic was to fill DW's car. There's broken clocks, odd pictures and ornaments. There's nothing sentimentally important but DW thinks we should keep it all.

Give me strength.

[spaz]

I would put it in a box and put it away somewhere. In a couple of years, bring it back out and go through it. She may be able to give it away then. I've had to go through my dad's stuff a couple of times and each time I was able to get rid of a little bit more. I now only have one box of stuff left. Everyone grieves in their own way. It is hard to part with stuff and in your father-in-law's defense, you do not see the value in the things because you were not there for the memory that they made. If you give away the ornament that some kid gave your spouse for being a good teacher, you are giving away a part of that spouse. If you think that they will be kept, then the memory doesn't die like it would if it is just thrown away or given to goodwill.

Just give it time.

[MrsK]

Take pictures of each item and pass them on without guilt.

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[spaz]

Take pictures of each item and pass them on without guilt.

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Good idea. HOWEVER, these are his wife's relatives things, so SHE should decide what happens to them.

[MrsK]

Good idea. HOWEVER, these are his wife's relatives things, so SHE should decide what happens to them.

Agreed. Just suggesting a way she can let go without letting go. I like your suggestion too


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[rufflesanddots]

I like the suggestion of hiding it away for a bit until she can sort through it without so much emotional guilt. My mom told me that after her father died my dad tried to be helpful and cleaned out her dad's room....meaning he threw everything away. It doesn't really matter now (she has other mementos, just not her dad's possessions), but it was very painful for her at the time. Annoying to have extra "stuff" in the house, but hopefully it can be easily contained and hidden and addressed in the future.

[ballibeg]

She's at work so I'm taking the hiding suggestion. Items moved from lounge to spare room..... next stop loft......

Thanks folks!

[houseelf]

My method is to mentally tag something as "iffy". If I'm sentimental about something it comes on my radar in then by the next time I do a sweep, I'm prepared to toss. It is that Konmari thing. There is an emotional aspect to it.