Live in nanny?

[katiecrna]

Anyone have any experience with live in nannys? Where I live right now, it seems they are very common, and I just don't really understand what they do and what the benefit is.

[Thirteen]

Many possible reasons: Dual income family, odd job hours, special needs, families of multiples, parents who travel frequently for work, etc.


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[katiecrna]

Live in nanny?

I know(ish) this women who is a stay at home mom with 3 young kids and she has 2 live in nannies. Unfortunely I don't know her well enough to ask her about it.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Lots of reasons but are you guys considering it? Or what aspect are you curious about?

We have a live out nanny but honestly good childcare is priceless...


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[katiecrna]

I don't have kids yet. Will be trying soon. I'm always thinking too far ahead.

[rufflesanddots]

The idea of not having to worry about leaving work because of a sick kid is pretty sweet, as is the idea of having another adult in the home who loves, cares for, and supports your child. I imagine it's pretty costly (wages + cost of having another adult -- food, utilities, insurance, etc.), but like T&S said, the peace of mind could make it worth it. I think one of DHs advisors has an au pair for her son. We've met her a couple times and she's wonderful--she's returning home soon to finish her MA and I know the family will miss her very much. DHs advisor had to work with an agency and the State Department, but it has been worth it for their family.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

It's tough though because there's a lack of privacy if they live in your home. We have several times a day where I have to negotiate whether to discipline the kids vs leave to the nanny (things that happen in front of me). I imagine it's even tougher when someone lives with you. Also how to negotiate when they're "on" vs "off". By law, you're supposed to only have them work 40-50 hours/week.


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[SoonerTexan]

Having had a nanny, personally, I think I would avoid having a live in if I could. The lack of privacy and clear boundary of when she is on/off would bother me.

That being said, if you are dealing with two demanding schedules, it could be the best option, though hours could definitely become an issue. My aunt and uncle are UPS pilots and have a daughter. Occasionally, their schedules would overlap and they would both have to be out of town. They paid a trusted neighbor to be "oncall" for these situations and it worked out really well for them. My cousin wasn't a baby at that point, though.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I agree ST. I feel like I would be annoyed if someone was intruding on my already limited time with DH. I feel like we've had a highly flexible situation because I made sure to hire someone who lived nearby.


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[Vishenka69]

We know quite a few families that have live-in nannies. Almost all have gone through several before finding the one (or 2 or 3).

Some are dual career, others have multiple kids (full time nanny cost as much as 2 kids in full time daycare).

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[JDAZ11]

It's tough though because there's a lack of privacy if they live in your home. We have several times a day where I have to negotiate whether to discipline the kids vs leave to the nanny (things that happen in front of me). I imagine it's even tougher when someone lives with you. Also how to negotiate when they're "on" vs "off". By law, you're supposed to only have them work 40-50 hours/week.


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Yeah. So awkward. I felt similar about the au pair situation too. I couldn't do it, but there are times I've really wished I had help.....

But, our current rental house is an insanely open floor plan. I don't work. But I feel like I can't be here while kids are napping when the nanny is here. It's uncomfortable- she cleans, chops produce, etc, but there really isn't much other space to get away. Even if I'm in my room, I don't know whether she was going to clean the bathroom that day etc. I just totally feel in here way, so do my best to be gone.

I sort need to still have them as often as I do, because my injuries are totally unpredictable, and I'm never going to find help 12 hours a day for a few weeks at a one. But it's so nice when the kids nap on the weekends and I'm alone in the house. I can finally (sort of) purge junk that has built up. Re organize things. Workout without going to gym. I feel like having a full time live in would be stressful... but if you need it, you need it.




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[Howfunitis]

I've been a live in nanny and from my perspective it's totally different. I had my own room, kitchen and bathroom. I was in a "guest room" attached to the house. I had my schedule set for a week or two depending on how far out they knew their schedule. And I was more than just a nanny as well. I took care of the kids, did light cleaning, cooking and bedtime routines. If both parents were out of the house it was more of babysitting at that point. All the monitors I could check from my room and once the parents were home, it was considered me time. In fact if something came up and mom wanted to take them to school then I'd have "free" time to myself. When I had to use the same kitchen as the family though, I admit it could get a little tricky cause it's a little getting use to. I'm happy to answer questions.


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[GrayMatterWife]

Here in Atlanta, it is almost 100% of the time, a status thing. So is having multiple nannies who work around the clock in shifts.

[gcuthbe1]

In nyc I've heard in my parenting groups that a reason for preference for nanny over daycare may be bc of less rules. If you're running late from a meeting, you'd get charged extra by daycare for late pick up, whereas the nanny you could just text. If you don't have time to start the dishwasher or laundry, the nanny is at your home and can do it for you. I imagine opting for live in nanny versus day time nanny reasons are similar; less hassle, more help.

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