Cleaning and Clutter

[PrincessFiona]

Time for a serious discussion about how to actually get the house clean and keep it clean.

It is just impossible to keep up with the messes...especially with having 5 children. I have really even given up on the whole sticker chart/chore list thing because it's actually more work for me to get after them to do things than to just do it all myself. (bad mommy, I know :nono: )

The thing is, lately I'm so exhausted from trying to keep up with the clutter and mess that I don't have energy for anything else and I just feel grouchy. I feel like all I do is clean my kitchen just for someone to come in and grab a handful of chips and spill them on the floor...then step on them as they toss the empty bag on the floor. Come on moms, you know the drill.

As a result of always cleaning the hotspot main floor, I almost never venture upstairs or dowstairs to clean up. So the main level might be acceptable when people come in, but....the other floors??? God help me if a neighbor had a house fire or something and needed to come over in the middle of the night unannounced!

Here's what I want:

I want my house to be "desperate housewifey" clean. I want people to come in unannounced and think that we're not slobs!

How do I do it?

I want the 3-step/minimal time and effort answer of course.

kris

step 1: hire someone
step 2: hire someone
step 3: hire someone

[Momo]

Hey Kris:
jens right hire someone...but do it this way Hire someone to come to your house every Mon.Wed & Fri for @ least 2 hours. I have a gal who comes Mon & Fri. She always cleans the kitchen , the family room & vacuums the downstairs. She gives the bathrooms a light cleaning and makes our master suite seem like a clean peaceful haven. Once a month she brings a partner to do the deep cleaning.

step 1: Hire Sven
step 2: Chat up Sven and learn that he is also a massage therapist
step 3: Get a massage after all the hard work of (watching Sven) cleaning the house

[Stella]

I can't even keep up with my little apartment. Hire someone and cut back on the chips for the kids. That'll show them. :> I'm just kidding of course, but really do hire some help. (Even if it's just once every week or every month, it'll help a LOT!)

[PrincessFiona]

Step 1: NO
Step 2: NO
Step 3: NO


Why? Been there done that x 3 different people. The bottom line is that no one cleans things as well as they should...I tried 2 different agencies and then an individual...they were happy enough to take my money, but they didn't do a great job. It got to a point that I was intentionally spilling things on a part of the carpet, or beside the toilet...to see if they would clean up.

The one cleaning lady that I got actually dusted only 1/3 of my piano...when she knew I was watching. As soon as she thought I wasn't looking, she moved on to something else.

No...I want my house to look like Bri's from Desperate Housewives...I just don't want to have to do it myself or have it take an effort.

kris

[mommax3]

Kris,

I know what you mean about hiring someone......DH has given me the okay to do just that, but I dread trying to find someone who actually does a good job. My house rarely looks like it, but apparently, I have pretty high standards, and I'll be damned if I pay somebody our hard-earned money to do a half-assed job. However, I am *always* on the lookout for recommendations. Do you know anyone that is happy with the person that cleans their house? Have Thomas ask around at work.

Otherwise, I am no paragon, but I am a huge proponent of designing routines that cause the house to be more easily cleaned, or at least straightened up. My boys are not allowed to have drinks anywhere but the kitchen, ever. (Except water.) They can't have individually packaged snack food at home, either......that stuff only is for lunch boxes. (Yes, they sneak it sometimes, but that is another thread.) Their snacks are usually string cheese, apples, bananas, or microwave popcorn, and if they make a mess, they clean it up, even if it involves vacuuming or carpet cleaner. I will get them out of bed if they have left a mess somewhere in the house. Other things we do......they have a certain place for their backpacks, and a certain place to put their lunchboxes after school. In the mornings, they know to hang up their towels after showering and they know to get their pjs/underwear off the floor and put in the hamper.......this all took a LOOOONG time. They all know to take their dishes to the sink after breakfast.

Also, in the past year, DH and I have really stepped up our cleaning expectations of them. I regularly hand Nathan the Swiffer sheets and have him dust what he can reach, and since he is apparently destined to be a giant, that is actually quite a bit. Luke and Joel can both vacuum fairly well, and Joel can sweep the tiled parts of the floor. He is also good at cleaning up spots on the tile with some paper towel and all purpose spray cleaner, or even just water. Luke is pretty good at bathroom cleaning, too.

I rarely get my house as clean as I think it "should" be. The times I have gotten it that way, it has been messed up again in about an hour. BUT.....I can honestly say that 90% of the time, I would not be embarrassed to show people through my house. That *may* mean I have lowered my standards......if so, that's okay. I'll take low standards over a straight-jacket any day!

Kris, from what I know of you, you (and your kids) are full of creativity and imagination and always have lots of projects going. I don't have those kind of talents, (although if anyone has an idea for a cool way to store a HUGE amount of music, please advise!) so I don't have to deal with the challenges that come along with all the projects. Still, I think you would rather have the creativity and imagination than a sterile clean house. I *know* that there will come a point in my life when my house stays clean and I have nice furniture and knick-knacks, etc. That will also be the point when my kids are gone. So do what you can, and if that means that "only" the main level is acceptable (and I think that is pretty good, btw) then so be it. Anyway, if a neighbor really did have to come over in the middle of the night because of a house fire and your upstairs isn't ship-shape, I doubt she will notice.

Sally

[Sheherezade]

I'm right there with you guys. I'm good at getting things picked up, the beds made, the dishes and laundry done and - that's it. Every now and then, I get overstimulated and actually CLEAN something with a mop or a dustrag. It's rare. I've been toying with the Roomba vac to do my sweeping overnight on a scheduler, because otherwise I do the sweeping every other day and that eats up all my cleaning time. :> In Boston, I was pretty good about doing a once a week cleaning hour ala FlyLady, but I've been "crazy busy" here.

Step 1: NO
Step 2: NO
Step 3: NO

Honey - you have 5 kids. Count them for me please: 5. If you want it to be clean like Brie's you either need to get rid of at least 3 of them, become obsessive compulsive, or hire a staff. (I'm pretty sure Brie has slaves, BTW).

I like Sally's version. I also try to keep the first floor presentable, and let the rest be what it is. As I've said many times before: If you're coming to see me, come anytime. If you're coming to see my house, make an appointment.

[Flynn]

Jenn's right.

There is no way to do it yourself with two kids let alone 5. No way no how. keep trying people. You'll find someone good if you keep at it.

I had someone good before we moved and coming home to a "Bri" house was nirvanna. Worth every penny.

[PrincessFiona]

I am laughing so hard over this thread!!!! You guys are so awesome!

Here's how this started...I got really busy cleaning up the house on Monday...from top to bottom (don't ask me why, maybe I was overstimulated ) The Cleaning lady that I had hired this summer has been calling me and leaving messages on my machine and I just haven't called her back. In the afternoon, she popped over completely unannounced and out-of-the-blue on her way home from another job to see if I needed her services still (couldn't take a hint that I didn't call back).

She walked in after I had finished organizing bookshelves, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the kitchen and...cleaning the hardwood floors. I had vacuumed stairs, walls (in the corners anyway) and thrown away 2 large garbage bags worth of junk and the little bathroom sparkled. Oh...I even actually MADE Thomas and I's bed and cleaned the entire upstairs.

Seriously, this house hasn't looked that clean in well....never.

The look on this woman's face when she walked into my house was....priceless. She came in and looked around while I answered the phone and then said "I came over to see if you still need me to clean, but....wow <looking around>...you really don't!" By pure coincidence, I was also wearing dress slacks and a nice dress top (I have vowed to stop looking like a slob and it was Monday so I was still feeling enthusiastic about the 'new me'. :> )

I was so thrilled. I felt....proud...really proud...and kind of...stepfordwifey :> I want every day to be like that day. Sadly, only 2 days later, you would have no clue that my house had ever been that clean.

Kris

[DCJenn]

WEll, living in 700 square feet has given me a totally new appreciation for the definition of clutter. In 700 square feet, the couch is clutter. The beds are clutter.

It's utter chaos. My cat pan is IN my closet. Only 3 out of 4 burners work on the mini stove and the broiler doesn't light. I vacuum every day because the fur accumulates if JUST ONCE, each pet shakes or scratches an ear.

The upside is that there's a whole lot of crap in storage that's going to get tossed once we finally move. I'm back to gradschool living (streamlined!) and my possessions will reflect that.

Jenn

PS- the laundry room is in the shed in the back yard. It's less than motivating to do it more than once a week as a result.

[Vanquisher]

A comparison between Kris and Bree.

Bree is a fictional character in a tv show.
Kris is a real person living in the real world.

Bree is beyond normal AR OCD.
Kris just wants people to think her house is spotless.

Bree has two nearly adult children.
Kris has five small children.

Bree couldn't handle it all. She's an alcoholic.
Kris is clearly not an alcoholic and is in remission from lymphoma and deserves to cut hereself some slack.

Bree was married to a dawkter.
Kris is married to a dawkter.

OMG, that's the only similarity. Oh, wait, her husband got killed by a maniac pharmacist! Obviously so tru to real life! You are not Bree. You are not a fictional OCD alcoholic tv character. You are a real, living, breathing mother of FIVE children. I understand that you want the clean house. I do too.

I see that you only have two options.

1. Hire someone that does a good job. Tell them your expectations for cleanliness and what you want exactly. Someone ought to be able to do it. Don't accept mediocre performance. Tell them that you have dismissed other employees for not performing up to standards. Tell them you will pay well, but that you expect a certain level of cleanliness.

2. Live with it. Accept that you are not Bree and try not to let it all bother you. Do the best you can when you can and don't worry about the rest. It's just a mess, that's all. I think I read somewhere that you were trying not to sweat the small stuff. This, my friend, is very, very small stuff. Sure, it makes you feel better to have a clean house...but, see #1.

I agree with Heidi's options. It can be hard to find the right person. I've had the best luck with...letting my friends do the groundwork. I've got my eye on someone for a year from now. Seriously, going off of someone else's recommendations seems to be the best way to go. Even then, cleaners seem to get a little lax and go back to a higher level of quality with a reminder or you have to let them go. I do think you will have better luck with expecting someone to clean rather than pick up.

It's not worth it to pay someone to do an mediocre job and I think that is more of a problem with the bigger chains. Just my 0.02.

[Stella]

One more...

Kris has a real house with walls and such.
Bree has a tv set house with only half the walls.

It's just not fair. I'm sorry. Keep looking to hire someone to help. And, maybe if there seems to be a lot of clutter everywhere, have a fall cleaning and make everyone get rid of a lot of their stuff (clothes, toys, etc.) that haven't been used in a little while. Have a yard sale and use that money towards your maid.