Well Hell

[PrincessFiona]

I'm so depressed.

I have been wearing loose, stretchy summer clothes. It's gotten cooler and so I pulled out all of my Winter stuff from last year (which I wore btw through the end of May). Everything was too tight. Way. Too. Tight. I knew I had to go and buy new.

I headed in to the store today thinking that maybe I was up a size? Wishful thinking. I'm up 2 sizes at least. I say at least because they don't actually make and sell the next higher size that I could possibly try except online I guess. Yah. Holy Shit about THAT!

I hate being fat. I want to be thin again. Thinner. OK...I'll settle for overweight. This is awful.

I realized in this process that I have multiple sizes of my staple white dress shirt (and I had to buy a new size today).

I literally have white dress shirts in size L (from when I'd lost weight), XL, 0X, 1X, 2X and now today I had to buy a 3 freaking X.

I feel embarrassed when I'm at school or get together with people. Everything hurts and that makes it difficult to exercise (on top of that, I have plantar fasciitis which just adds to exercise difficulty).

The only other time in my life that I've ever been this fat was after I finished chemo/had Zoe and had been on a lot of steroids for a long period of time.

I need help. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so completely worn out by my failed attempts at losing weight. I've hit rock bottom.

Kris

[spotty_dog]

You are an awesome person and I love you!

In karate this month the kids are learning this mantra: "The goals we set are the goals we get. 1) Have a plan. 2) Have a coach. 3) Take consistent action."

We will totally be your coaches and cheerleaders! What you need is a plan you can act on. I strongly suggest that you plan to make ONE. SMALL. CHANGE, and stick with it for a month before adding on. I think that eating an elephant is completely impossible unless you take it one bite at a time.

Definitely start by getting some clothes that fit though!

[Curegirl]

I'm sorry you're feeling terrible right now. My mom's ankle is still giving her problems and she's gained, which is hard because she can't really walk without difficulty. I'm hoping both of you feel better soon

[Ladybug]

((hugs))

There's a new weight loss prescription med just approved. I've seen the commericials, but I can't remember the name. I think they should make cute PEZ dispensers. What about a MD-RD-PT team? A lot of it might qualify for insurance, especially in your state. Look into it.

You are doing so much with kids, their needs, driving to the city, school…holy shit it's so much! Anything you can slow down to make time for caring for yourself?

I wish you lived here. We would have the best walks and talks. I'd spank you if it helped Don't give up!!!!

[Ladybug]

What about biking or water zumba until your foot heals? I hate spinning, but water zumba looks fun. I can't swim in a straight line so laps are not an option for me. You can walk against the current in a lazy river until your foot heals. Aquatics are very good for the joints and heart though!

[ladymoreta]

What a great idea, Ladybug! Hugs, Kris. I agree to go ahead and buy the clothes that fit you well for now. Even go a step farther and get rid of all but your very favorites of the smaller sizes so you can reward yourself with new things as you lose. We're here for you, and please believe that to those of us who love you, it doesn't matter what size you are except that it's making you feel bad. I want to support you in losing weight in a way that is healthy for you and makes you happy and feel better.

[ides]

I'm with you Kris. I'm so big and I feel like when I try hard all I do is maintain my largeness and when I'm not battling it constantly I gain. It's depressing and I feel ugly and embarrassed too. Not to hijack, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Big hugs! I'm trying to find something new to try as well. If you can get to a pool (I'm trying) any movement in water is good and feels good after.

[niener]

Hugs Kris . I know with every size I grow I feel a bit more sluggish, in more pain, and just less motivated to work out and then it becomes an evil continuing cycle. It's not fair and it sucks when you feel like the outer you doesn't reflect the inner you.

I completely forgot about this until now but my mom had (has? she's doing better now, not sure if it's totally healed) plantar fasciitis too and she did water exercises and used the little hand bicycle at her gym that just worked her upper body but still got her heart rate up. I remember how frustrating it was for her to find things she could do to exercise, I'll text her and ask if she has any more recommendations. Even just 5 or 10 minutes here or there, something like keeping some resistant bands in your purse and do some arm exercises while you're sitting in line waiting to pick up one of the kids. Googling seated exercises might bring up something helpful. I know how busy you are but I hope you can carve out a little bit of you time so that you can start feeling better

[PrincessFiona]

Thanks guys. I have to think long and hard about what I'll do. I was so sad yesterday that DH actually came home in the middle of the day and went on a walk with me. Unheard of! Today, he threw $300 at me and told me to buy clothes that make me feel hood about me. This is on top of the $300 I spent yesterday.
Today when I went back into the store, the sales lady ran over to me: "I thought of you last night. Weight is do hard. It's the biggest battle of my adult life. You can do it!" Then she helped me spend my money.

Kris

[BonBon]

Im sorry. I love your last post though!! I'm so glad you got some new clothes that you feel good in now. You can do this. You have before, you'll do it again. Baby steps, my friend.

Sent from my SM-N900V using Tapatalk

[PrincessFiona]

I showed dh my clothes and he loved them. Then he asked," did you see anything else while you were there?". He told me to go buy it. Told me he wants me to feel good and that he loves me no matter what size I am.

So do I really go back and buy more? I already feel guilty!

[mommax3]

He is a sweet man. If there is something that you wanted, but didn't get, go back and get it.

[JDAZ11]

Well Hell

I'm glad you found some stuff that works!

I've had PF, struggled with it for years. I had this thing done at PT called ASTYM that took care of it in two sessions (there are other versions of ASTYM, graston, something else). Anyway, before that I tried a million different things. I bought this trigger point (that's the brand name) DVD plus massage ball set that worked better than the PT without ASTYM. Also the PF night sock was very helpful.

It's awful. I also think it really contributed to my neuroma and the avascular necrosis of my sesamoid bone (just from walking/running/etc funny). So if possible go get it checked out by someone that does ASTYM or graston ASAP before it turns into a bigger chronic issue.

[Ladybug]

[diggitydot]

I showed dh my clothes and he loved them. Then he asked," did you see anything else while you were there?". He told me to go buy it. Told me he wants me to feel good and that he loves me no matter what size I am.

So do I really go back and buy more? I already feel guilty!

Good job, T. Go back and buy something if you saw something you liked.

FWIW, your weight/shape/size is not an indicator of your worth.