Spouses Working Out

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Would he join a running group? Some of them meet really early in the AM or late in the PM.


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[diggitydot]

I think this is one of those "pick your battles" kinds of things. If he enjoyed working out or how he feels when he works out, he'd find time to do it. If he doesn't want to do it, bribing him with favors is eventually going to build resentments.

Doing active stuff together like hiking with the kids or going for a family walk together is probably a better option if you want him to actually enjoy it and want to keep doing it.

[Thirteen]

Spouses Working Out

I just do me, and stopped trying to push him a few years ago. I'd say he does something 1-2 week (the gym or evening relaxation yoga with me). Granted, he's still sussing out his own health stuff, so they told him now is not the time to throw himself into an intense new routine. He has seen me gain weight with kids and lose the weight, he has seen me build muscle and lose it, etc. I am thankful he's never said anything or tried to police food (because okay, murder!). 😂 I am not the thinnest or fastest I have ever been, but I'm probably the strongest and most flexible, and that's something to celebrate. I think he wants things like that for himself, whatever his individual goals may be and his timeframe.


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[ides]

I think it's really hard during training. They are just tapped out and if they aren't the type who recharge with exercise it isn't going to happen. Mine ran some during residency but it was here and there. I leave it up to him. He currently stationary bikes and does some strengthening exercises. He's never liked sports or exercise but does it now for health.

[alotofyarn]

Thanks guys - I think I'll just keep inviting him to exercise with me any time he's home and not doing anything, and if he does, great, and if he doesn't, he doesn't. I've definitely done my share of gaining, losing, gaining, losing, gaining, and now hopefully losing again, and he's put up with me. Like I said earlier, I really just want us to be healthy for the kids and for each other.

Also - the favors deal was totally his idea, not mine. He decided he'd work out with me for favors every time, and I was like sure, and he said we were going to be working out every day several times a day. Until the first time he actually worked out with me and realized it was a legit tough workout (some are harder than others, and it was a fairly challenging leg workout that day), and I think he's regretting that ever since.

[spotty_dog]

I should look at the pictures. He knows his health isn't great, but he'd rather just take medicine and act like he's not capable of controlling his cholesterol with diet and exercise. The diet has mostly gotten bad in the last year or two. I'm fairly certain his dad is a diabetic, so he's got that going against him too.

Has he applied for disability insurance? That health exam can be an eye-opener.

During residency, DH cut back to only cycling the 14 miles each way to the hospital. :\ Even that, he had to cut back during call months, when he just drove. He also went out hiking with me regularly when the weather allowed (eg. not the Phoenix summer) and kept up his gym membership for a few years -- I think he did some weights and some stationary bike when the weather was too bad to go outside. Still, he gained significant weight during residency. It's not a healthy lifestyle for anyone. You do kinda have to do you, I think, model good habits and leave room for him to join in when he's ready.

[alotofyarn]

Has he applied for disability insurance? That health exam can be an eye-opener.

During residency, DH cut back to only cycling the 14 miles each way to the hospital. :\ Even that, he had to cut back during call months, when he just drove. He also went out hiking with me regularly when the weather allowed (eg. not the Phoenix summer) and kept up his gym membership for a few years -- I think he did some weights and some stationary bike when the weather was too bad to go outside. Still, he gained significant weight during residency. It's not a healthy lifestyle for anyone. You do kinda have to do you, I think, model good habits and leave room for him to join in when he's ready.

Yes - he did that within the last year. I don't remember if he saw those results or not.

I actually booked an appointment for myself with a PCP next month just to get everything checked out, since it's been years since I've had normal tests done, other than anything my OB/GYN did. I've had high cholesterol in the past, which I was able to bring down with diet and exercise once before, so I'm sort of curious where it is now.

[spotty_dog]

Awesome. Health is where it's at. My new dentist inexplicably required my blood pressure (DH muttered about dentists who send patients to the ER for high blood pressure without other data points) and it was a little higher again. That gives me the motivation to do better. I think those markers matter so much more than a silly number on a scale. I had my PCP (NP) pull my cholesterol last time too IIRC. I hope it's either good info or good motivation!!

[medpedspouse]

[MENTION=4205]alotofyarn[/MENTION] - you've met me....I do love food and drink too - DH and I actually plan trips around food and booze.

I keep going back to you guys doing something you will enjoy as a family -- something that can be a long term thing - that is not going to feel like an extra chore...or take away from the limited time he already has with you guys. For example, swimming in the summers, hiking in the fall/winters?

I have to pay for a trainer to go to the gym. I HATE the gym - any gym, the weights, machines, etc. It is sooo not me. I've learned my active lifestyle comes from all types of activities that have nothing to do with a gym membership. Therefore, this is not sustainable for me. So, the only way I will set foot in a gym is if I have an appointment with a trainer...which is pricey and so not enjoyable

Back to the food and booze. DH and I made a pack that we have to plan dates around a physical activity -- otherwise, we tend to only eat and drink up. This is how we found stand up paddle boarding.

[alotofyarn]

@alotofyarn - you've met me....I do love food and drink too - DH and I actually plan trips around food and booze.

I keep going back to you guys doing something you will enjoy as a family -- something that can be a long term thing - that is not going to feel like an extra chore...or take away from the limited time he already has with you guys. For example, swimming in the summers, hiking in the fall/winters?

I have to pay for a trainer to go to the gym. I HATE the gym - any gym, the weights, machines, etc. It is sooo not me. I've learned my active lifestyle comes from all types of activities that have nothing to do with a gym membership. Therefore, this is not sustainable for me. So, the only way I will set foot in a gym is if I have an appointment with a trainer...which is pricey and so not enjoyable

Back to the food and booze. DH and I made a pack that we have to plan dates around a physical activity -- otherwise, we tend to only eat and drink up. This is how we found stand up paddle boarding.

We try to swim a lot on the weekends with my parents, but for whatever reason he doesn't like to get in the pool half the time. I don't really like swimming either, but the kids love it, and I know it's good for me to be in there with them. There really isn't hiking around here, even in the winters, but I think if we move somewhere further north next year, we'll definitely do that more. Hopefully it will cool down eventually here too, and we can walk some more, but it's really just miserable right now. And without the tree in the neighbor's yard giving us shade, we can't even hardly go in the backyard anymore.