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Christmas Controversies

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  • Christmas Controversies

    WHICH IS BEST?

    CONTROVERSY Should the tree be real or fake?
    YUPPIE Live tree, planted after use
    MALE Fake tree, discarded after use
    FEMALE Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits
    REALITY Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with fur-balls

    CONTROVERSY Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant?
    YUPPIE Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm
    MALE Bulbs flash logo of football team
    FEMALE Elegant flickering candles
    REALITY Tree bursts into flames, burns house down

    CONTROVERSY Should tree be topped with an angel or a star?
    YUPPIE Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype
    MALE Blonde angel, kneeling, in a wet T-shirt
    FEMALE Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas
    REALITY Hell's Angel steals the tree and the gifts

    CONTROVERSY Do you fling or hang tinsel?
    YUPPIE Empower each strand w/self-determining skills
    MALE Six large clumps of tinsel on front of tree
    FEMALE Each icicle hangs like strand of delicate artwork
    REALITY More icicles on floor than on tree

    CONTROVERSY Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve or morning?
    YUPPIE Gifts opened on posted, individual schedules so all enjoy surprise
    MALE Anytime, just so it doesn't interfere with football
    FEMALE Anytime the entire family is present
    REALITY Doesn't matter, everyone's peeked anyway

    CONTROVERSY Ham or Turkey for Christmas Dinner
    YUPPIE Baked Tofu Balls stuffed with wheat germ
    MALE Anything, as long as there's plenty of both it - and beer
    FEMALE A meal the entire family plans and prepares
    REALITY Chinese carryout or McDonald's

  • #2
    Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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    • #3
      Funny

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