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Lest this seem too sexist, let me just preface by saying I know there are many fine men in the world. I've just been spending a LOT of time dealing with the fallout from one useless bastard (not my dh), so this REALLY tickled my funnybone.
FUNERAL PROCESSION: (DON'T
SKIP THE PRAYER AT THE END...
ITS PRICELESS!)
A woman was leaving a convenience store with
her morning coffee when she noticed a most
unusual funeral procession approaching the
nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second
long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first
one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary
woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her,
a short distance back, were about 200 women
walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She
respectfully approached the woman walking the
dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss," I
know now is a bad time disturb you, but I've never
seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and
killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the
second hearse?"
The women answered, "My mother-in-law. She
was trying to help my husband when the dog
turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence
passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
__________________________________________________ ____
A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death
SKIP THE PRAYER AT THE END...
ITS PRICELESS!)
A woman was leaving a convenience store with
her morning coffee when she noticed a most
unusual funeral procession approaching the
nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second
long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first
one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary
woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her,
a short distance back, were about 200 women
walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She
respectfully approached the woman walking the
dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss," I
know now is a bad time disturb you, but I've never
seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and
killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the
second hearse?"
The women answered, "My mother-in-law. She
was trying to help my husband when the dog
turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence
passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
__________________________________________________ ____
A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death
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