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OK...these are all plagiarized from the December Minnesota Medicine Journal. They're just funny and I thought I'd share:
Excerpts from Medical Records:
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
She can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
Rectal examination revealed a normal-sized thyroid.
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus-sized.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
funny stories:
A doctor is about to give a speech at the local medical association dinner. He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes.
He calls out over the podium, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home: After many rings, his wife finally picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed"
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion"
Excerpts from Medical Records:
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
She can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
Rectal examination revealed a normal-sized thyroid.
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus-sized.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
funny stories:
A doctor is about to give a speech at the local medical association dinner. He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes.
He calls out over the podium, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home: After many rings, his wife finally picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed"
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion"
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