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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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  • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Where do I get this stuff??? Passed along to me from my kooky friends.

    WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

    GEORGE W. BUSH
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
    We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road
    or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us.
    There is no middle ground here.

    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
    crossing the road represented the application of these two
    different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed
    to bring greater services to the American people.

    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
    chicken?
    It depends on what the definition of cross is.

    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
    polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not
    reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because
    it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
    getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
    out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
    crossing-the-road syndrome. How much more of this can real
    Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
    dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
    money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to
    cross.

    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going.
    I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
    when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me
    any insider information.

    JERRY FALWELL
    Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?
    Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
    The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call
    it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
    And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
    I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
    that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases
    like "the other side."

    DR. SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not
    been told!

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    To die. In the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
    without having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was
    good enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to
    the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of
    how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to
    accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was a historical inevitability.

    SADDAM HUSSEIN
    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
    in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER
    You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
    chickens have to cross before you believe it?

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
    the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
    roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
    balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable
    part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
    the chicken?

    JOHNNY COCHRAN
    Because the road was black and the chicken was white.
    We must acquit.

    THE BIBLE
    And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
    "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
    there was much rejoicing.

    COLONEL SANDERS
    I missed one

  • #2
    That is soooo funny. Thanks.
    Luanne
    Luanne
    wife, mother, nurse practitioner

    "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

    Comment


    • #3
      That totally cracks me up and sums up why I don't subscribe to any one school of thought -- I hate knee jerk, predictable reactions. That was a good one!

      Sally
      Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

      "I don't know when Dad will be home."

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      • #4
        Thanks for the laugh. Those were great!

        Robin

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        • #5


          Especially liked Falwell, Hemingway, Hussein, Gates, Grandpa and Colonel Sanders. Reagans was funny but that was the only one that I thought was a little low (but I admit I still laughed).
          Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
          With fingernails that shine like justice
          And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

          Comment


          • #6
            OMG

            This is the absolute funnies thing that I've read in ages!!! This is absolutely the best conclusion that I can think of to the offline debate that we were having, btw!!!

            OMG...I'm seriously rolling on the floor here!!!!!!!!


            Kris
            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

            Comment


            • #7
              That was pretty funny!
              Awake is the new sleep!

              Comment


              • #8
                THat is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!!

                Comment

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