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Installing a Husband

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  • Installing a Husband

    My mom just sent this to me--enjoy!

    INSTALLING A HUSBAND





    Dear Tech Support,



    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
    distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower
    and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.



    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as

    Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
    programs such as



    NBA 5.0,

    NFL 3.0 and

    Golf Clubs 4.1.



    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
    system.



    Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
    to no avail.



    What can I do?



    Signed,



    Desperate.







    DEAR DESPERATE,



    First, keep in mind,

    Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while

    Husband 1.0 is an operating system.



    Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2,
    and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

    If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
    automatically run the applicationsJewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.



    However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
    default to

    Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

    Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the
    Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.



    Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
    (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all
    your system resources.)



    In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program.
    This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.



    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
    and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying
    additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend

    Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
    Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.




  • #2
    that's funny!
    Wife to a urologist; Mom to 2 wonderful kiddos

    Comment


    • #3
      Omgoodness, HYSTERICAL! I love it...

      Comment


      • #4
        I absolutely cracked up with this. Worth printing out and saving thanks for
        sharing
        Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
        Professional Relocation Specialist &
        "The Official IMSN Enabler"

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        • #5
          That is great!
          Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

          Comment


          • #6

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            • #7
              LOVE this, ) and I will be be cutting and pasting, heheh! Thanks!

              Comment


              • #8
                My best friend is an IT guy. I will be sending this to his wife.
                -L.Jane

                Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
                Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
                Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  That was HI-larious!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I love that I can always count on you girls to post the funniest things! Love it!

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