Advice from my wedding (humorous)

[SoonerTexan]

At our wedding we had a little basket with three sections for guests to drop in written bits of "Advice, Predictions, and Memories"

However, the table was in a back room and it seems most of it came from our under-10 guests--there were some funny ones! There seemed to be a nice running theme of baby related ones. Here are a few--I'll have fun looking back at these over the years:

"You'll have babies!"

"J, you will kiss M"

"A baby before your first anniversary! Hey, it happens" (from a dear friend/coworker who had an unexpected honeymoon baby)

"You and J are going to be my kid's favorite aunt and uncle, and I'm going to be your kid's favorite uncle"

"Good luck with the kids"

"I remember when I first saw you. You were kissing" (From J's little sister--for the record, this is not true. She was a year old when she first saw me)

"I remember you're wedding. Haha!"

"Never Brake Up" (Spelling is theirs, not mine)

"Don't repeat your parent's mistakes" (From my uncle, who just happens to be the father of the Flower Girl from Hell. My mother rolled her eyes at this one)

"Don't Nag. I'm certain this does not work--I've tried every version"

"Don't make your kids walk to school" (from the Flower Girl from Hell who is apparently pissed about having to walk to school)

[MrsK]

We did something similar at my bridal shower. All the ladies gave me notes with advice. Some of the best ones:

-Don't start making dinner until his car is in the driveway (from a medical spouse)
-Always be eachother's advocate.
-After he's seen a lot of patients, you will need a lot of patience (from a medical spouse)
-Smile sweetly before you say "honey do"
-Don't expect him to listen to you unless you are shouting our wearing something very provocative.
-Always light the Shabbat candles.

There were similar statements in our guest book but the absolute WORST came from a friend's husband who'd had a little too much to drink during the cocktail hour. They'd had a baby 5 weeks before the wedding. He wrote "The baby is asleep and Melissa's boobs aren't leaking. Let's Party!"IN OUR WEDDING GUEST BOOK. Our beautiful guest book with pretty pictures and loving sentiments from 150 wedding guests and he wrote THAT! We cannot even remove the page because dozens of other guests wrote on the same page. It's been over 2 years and I'm still mortified.. . . but I digress, this is supposed to be an encouragement thread.

[v-girl]

Those are great!

MrsK - I must have a crude sense of humor because I cracked up when I read that! ha ha!

[SoonerTexan]

We cannot even remove the page because dozens of other guests wrote on the same page. It's been over 2 years and I'm still mortified.. . . but I digress, this is supposed to be an encouragement thread.

If it helps, the last one about not making your kids walk to school was written in huge scribbly letters on the picture frame mat we had everyone sign. That I want to hang in my home.

[scarlett09]

If it helps, the last one about not making your kids walk to school was written in huge scribbly letters on the picture frame mat we had everyone sign. That I want to hang in my home.

I would find some of those cute scrapbooking stickers that are wedding related to cover most of what she wrote. Seriously. Just so it reads "walk to school", lol.

[L.Jane]

When I was a kid I was JEALOUS of all the kids that got to walk to school.

I like Scarlett's idea of putting stickers over it. Or maybe a picture from your wedding.

[MrsK]

Leaky boobs may be funny in some circumstances (though I'm struggling to think of the circumstances) but I don't want to read about Melissa's leaking boobs every time we reminice about our wedding nor do I want to have to explain it to my kids when I show them our wedding scrapbook. Seriously, this was a formal dinner reception and Melissa happens to be a very "proper" Englishwoman. She'd just die if she knew that all my guests read about her leaky boobs on their way through our receiving line.

[bokelley]

I know how you feel. For some reason my lovely husband and his questionably friends, had this stupid joke going on the whole time at the wedding, something to affect of "do you smell something?" the other would ask no what? while making a sniffing sound, then they would all yell "What up dog?" It was horrible and I should have just left his ass at the alter. So while I was walking up in my dress, they all and I do mean all of them, where sniffing and had huge grins on their faces. Not to mention that they all thought it would be fun to have some shots before the wedding. So then sometime during the reception, all of the groomsmen somehow bribed the video camera people to let him give them a 15 min speech on the origin on the joke. So when I went to watch our wedding video, I am constantly reminded of the dumb-ass friends my husband has...

[SoonerTexan]

Brandi, that is hilarious! And the precise reason we gave our groomsmen gift certificates to their favorite bar 150 miles away as the gift--alcohol, but not immediately available.

[poky]

So then sometime during the reception, all of the groomsmen somehow bribed the video camera people to let him give them a 15 min speech on the origin on the joke. So when I went to watch our wedding video, I am constantly reminded of the dumb-ass friends my husband has...

Three words: Video Editing Software.

At my friends wedding this weekend we made her a wishing tree, and then we were going to take all those notes and put them in a frame, real cute like. Except three of the notes were like congratulations dumbass, or hey so and so last night was fun we won't tell your husband. Very inappropriate. Thank god I caught them before they went in the frame! I think she would think they were funny now, but in ten years....not so much!