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This was sent to us from a Dr. in west central Oklahoma. We were there for that huge tornado in '99, in fact we got some good footage from the deck of our apartment! We just recently had some severe weather near Kansas City and thought that I would share this with you as a good laugh.
For those of you who aren't familiar with tornadoes and are hearing
news coverage of this, I put together a short glossary to help you
understand.
Fujita Scale: Scale used to measure wind speeds of a tornado and
their severity.
F1: Laughable little string of wind unless it comes through your
house, then enough to make your insurance company drop you like a brick. People enjoy standing on their porches to watch this kind.
F2: Strong enough to blow your car into your house, unless of
course you drive an Expedition and live in a mobile home, then strong enough to blow your house into your car
F3: Will pick your house and your Expedition up and move you to the
other side of town.
F4: Usually ranging from 1/2 to a full mile wide, this tornado can
turn an Expedition into a Pinto, then gift wrap it in a semi truck.
F5: The Mother of all Tornadoes, you might as well stand on your front porch and watch it, because it's probably going to be quite a last
sight.
Meteorologist: A rather soft-spoken, mild-mannered type person until severe weather strikes, and they start yelling at you through the t.v.:"GET TO YOUR BATHROOM OR YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"
Storm Chaser: Meteorologist-rejects who are pretty much insane but
get us really cool pictures of tornadoes. We release them from the mental
institution every time it starts thundering, just to see what they'll do.
Tranquilizer: What you have to give any dog or cat who lived through the May 3rd, 1999 tornado every time it storms or they tear your whole house up freaking out of their minds.
Moore, Oklahoma: A favorite gathering place for tornadoes. They like to meet here and do a little partying before stretching out across the rest of the Midwest.
Bathtub: Best place to seek shelter in the middle of a tornado, mostly because after you're covered with debris, you can quickly wash off and come out looking great.
Severe Weather Radio: A handy device that sends out messages from the National Weather Service during a storm, though quite disconcerting
because the high pitched, shrill noise just as an alarm, sounds suspiciously just like a tornado. Plus the guy reading the report just sounds creepy.
Tornado Siren: A system the city spent millions to install, which is really useful, unless there's a storm or a tornado, because then of course you can't hear them.
Storm Cellar: A great place to go during a tornado, as it is almost 100% safe, though weigh your options carefully, as most are not cared for
and are homes to rats and snakes.
May-June: Tourist season in Oklahoma, when people who are tired of
bungee jumping and diving out of airplanes decide it might be fun to chase a tornado. These people usually end up on Fear Factor.
Barometric Pressure: Nobody really knows what this is, but when it
drops a lot of pregnant women go into labor, which makes for exciting moments as their husbands are trying to drive them to the hospital and dodge tornadoes at the same time.
Cars: The worst place to be during a tornado (next to a mobile home).
Yes, you can out run a tornado in your car...unless everybody on the road
decides to do the same thing, and then you're in grid lock.
A Ditch: Supposedly where you're supposed to go if you find yourself
without shelter or in your car during a tornado. Theoretically the tornado is supposed to pass right over you, but since it can lift a 20 ton
truck and up root a three hundred year old tree, I'd bet my life on out-running it in a car.
Mobile Home: Most people are convinced mobile homes send off some
strange signal that triggers tornadoes, because if there's one mobile home park in a hundred mile radius, the tornado will find it. Also know as "tornado bait".
Earthquake: What any Californian would rather go through on any scale of severity than face a tornado.
Tornado: What any Oklahoman would rather go through on any scale of
severity than face an earthquake.
Twister: Slang for 'tornado' and also the title to a movie starring Helen Hunt, which incidentally everyone thought was corny and unrealistic until May 3rd, 1999.
Power Flash: One of the most reliable ways to track a tornado at night, it's the term used when the tornado hits a power line and a bright light flashes. It's also the emotion experienced by meteorologists when
they get to make the call to interrupt prime-time must-see t.v. and a million dollars worth of advertising to track a storm for viewers.
Here are some phrases you might want to learn and be familiar with:
"We'll have your electricity restored in 24 hours," which means it'll be a week.
"We're going to be out for a week, so buy a lot of supplies and an expensive generator," means it's going to be on in twelve hours, probably as soon as you return from Wal-Mart.
"It's a little muggy today." Get outta town. It's getting ready to storm.
"There's just a slight chance of severe weather today, so go ahead and make your outdoor plans." Ha. Ha ha ha ha.
And The BIG TIP of the day: When your electricity goes out, and you go to bed at night, be sure to turn off everything that was on before it went out, or when it is unexpectedly restored in the middle of the night, every
light, your computer, your dishwasher, your blow dryer, your washing
machine, your microwave and your fans will all come on all at once.
1) You'll just about have a heart attack when they all come on at the
same time, waking you from a dead sleep.
And 2) Your breakers will blow, leaving you in the dark once again.
For those of you who aren't familiar with tornadoes and are hearing
news coverage of this, I put together a short glossary to help you
understand.
Fujita Scale: Scale used to measure wind speeds of a tornado and
their severity.
F1: Laughable little string of wind unless it comes through your
house, then enough to make your insurance company drop you like a brick. People enjoy standing on their porches to watch this kind.
F2: Strong enough to blow your car into your house, unless of
course you drive an Expedition and live in a mobile home, then strong enough to blow your house into your car
F3: Will pick your house and your Expedition up and move you to the
other side of town.
F4: Usually ranging from 1/2 to a full mile wide, this tornado can
turn an Expedition into a Pinto, then gift wrap it in a semi truck.
F5: The Mother of all Tornadoes, you might as well stand on your front porch and watch it, because it's probably going to be quite a last
sight.
Meteorologist: A rather soft-spoken, mild-mannered type person until severe weather strikes, and they start yelling at you through the t.v.:"GET TO YOUR BATHROOM OR YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"
Storm Chaser: Meteorologist-rejects who are pretty much insane but
get us really cool pictures of tornadoes. We release them from the mental
institution every time it starts thundering, just to see what they'll do.
Tranquilizer: What you have to give any dog or cat who lived through the May 3rd, 1999 tornado every time it storms or they tear your whole house up freaking out of their minds.
Moore, Oklahoma: A favorite gathering place for tornadoes. They like to meet here and do a little partying before stretching out across the rest of the Midwest.
Bathtub: Best place to seek shelter in the middle of a tornado, mostly because after you're covered with debris, you can quickly wash off and come out looking great.
Severe Weather Radio: A handy device that sends out messages from the National Weather Service during a storm, though quite disconcerting
because the high pitched, shrill noise just as an alarm, sounds suspiciously just like a tornado. Plus the guy reading the report just sounds creepy.
Tornado Siren: A system the city spent millions to install, which is really useful, unless there's a storm or a tornado, because then of course you can't hear them.
Storm Cellar: A great place to go during a tornado, as it is almost 100% safe, though weigh your options carefully, as most are not cared for
and are homes to rats and snakes.
May-June: Tourist season in Oklahoma, when people who are tired of
bungee jumping and diving out of airplanes decide it might be fun to chase a tornado. These people usually end up on Fear Factor.
Barometric Pressure: Nobody really knows what this is, but when it
drops a lot of pregnant women go into labor, which makes for exciting moments as their husbands are trying to drive them to the hospital and dodge tornadoes at the same time.
Cars: The worst place to be during a tornado (next to a mobile home).
Yes, you can out run a tornado in your car...unless everybody on the road
decides to do the same thing, and then you're in grid lock.
A Ditch: Supposedly where you're supposed to go if you find yourself
without shelter or in your car during a tornado. Theoretically the tornado is supposed to pass right over you, but since it can lift a 20 ton
truck and up root a three hundred year old tree, I'd bet my life on out-running it in a car.
Mobile Home: Most people are convinced mobile homes send off some
strange signal that triggers tornadoes, because if there's one mobile home park in a hundred mile radius, the tornado will find it. Also know as "tornado bait".
Earthquake: What any Californian would rather go through on any scale of severity than face a tornado.
Tornado: What any Oklahoman would rather go through on any scale of
severity than face an earthquake.
Twister: Slang for 'tornado' and also the title to a movie starring Helen Hunt, which incidentally everyone thought was corny and unrealistic until May 3rd, 1999.
Power Flash: One of the most reliable ways to track a tornado at night, it's the term used when the tornado hits a power line and a bright light flashes. It's also the emotion experienced by meteorologists when
they get to make the call to interrupt prime-time must-see t.v. and a million dollars worth of advertising to track a storm for viewers.
Here are some phrases you might want to learn and be familiar with:
"We'll have your electricity restored in 24 hours," which means it'll be a week.
"We're going to be out for a week, so buy a lot of supplies and an expensive generator," means it's going to be on in twelve hours, probably as soon as you return from Wal-Mart.
"It's a little muggy today." Get outta town. It's getting ready to storm.
"There's just a slight chance of severe weather today, so go ahead and make your outdoor plans." Ha. Ha ha ha ha.
And The BIG TIP of the day: When your electricity goes out, and you go to bed at night, be sure to turn off everything that was on before it went out, or when it is unexpectedly restored in the middle of the night, every
light, your computer, your dishwasher, your blow dryer, your washing
machine, your microwave and your fans will all come on all at once.
1) You'll just about have a heart attack when they all come on at the
same time, waking you from a dead sleep.
And 2) Your breakers will blow, leaving you in the dark once again.
He and my husband drove up to OK after the May '99 tornado to help clean up the mess and he STILL thought tornadoes were a fun thing. :!: I have to agree that there is a familiar and nostalgic adrenalin rush I get when the sky turns green and the air gets heavy, though. Kind of weird that tornadoes make me nostalgic. I also miss thunderstorms - you just don't get those much in New England.
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