Invisible Mothers

[TigerLily]

I've always loved this and I thought this was a good time to share it. It seems a little long, but it's definitely worth the read!
Whether you stay at home, or work, it is a extreme understatement to say that being a mom is hard, especially when it seems like nobody sees what you're doing.

Anyway, I love this!
http://www.parenthood.com/article-to...ble_woman.html

p.s Even though I turned on Sesame Street and plopped Ayla in front of it hoping for a minute to post this, she is still circling me, climbing me, and pressing all the keys on my keyboard making this much more difficult than it should be.

[ladymoreta]

That's beautiful! I love the comparison to cathedrals.

[poky]

I'd be interested to read some more of the book, to see if I've got the wrong end of the stick, here, but just from that excerpt, I take serious issue with the idea that wanting to *be acknowledged as a human being* by one's family is somehow "selfish".

[TigerLily]

Are you talking about when she says "At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride." ?

That does seem a little extreme, and since i haven't read the book I really can't say exactly what she means by that. But, I thought she was talking about how when you're a mom you are usually doing things solely for your children. Not to gain approval, or gratitude, or anything else for yourself. You are doing it because you are raising this little human who is depending on you for everything and they NEED you to be almost completely selfless. Especially when they are just teeny little ones. Here is my life example for this statement. Before I had Ayla I did most things for myself. Yeah, I volunteered, and made my house a home for my husband. I DID do things for the good of others, but my life was MY ilfe. The things I did were for me. At the end of the day I came home and read a book and enjoyed it. Almost instantly after she was born my life no longer revolved around me. Everything I did was for her. I mean, showering became the most self-centered(and I don't use that term in a negative way at all) thing that I did with my days. I think the author was saying that she felt like she was "cured" from being self centered. I don't think that everyone would agree that this is something that is wrong or needs a cure, but she may have felt that way.

*Disclaimer This isn't to say that mothers or women shouldn't be acknowledged as a human being. That is totally redonkulous. I absolutely do not believe that it is selfish to want your family to see you as an individual person. I do not mean this to be an argument or attack. Just my little humble opinion on what the author may have meant.

Thanks for posting this, Zoe! Yeah, this one could spark a debate.
But she definitely captures the thankless way it can feel on a day-to-day basis, and it's a great reminder of the importance of the job.
Shoot, selfishly, I think that one of these days they're going to be picking my nursing home, and I don't want them to post in some message board that I deserve the worst place possible. That's why I do it all.
ETA - More seriously, the cathedral imagery kind of sticks with me as I'm changing diapers and getting frustrated with the interruptions. These are little PEOPLE, with great minds, capable of great things themselves. It makes me less frustrated with the job.

[TigerLily]

For me it's great inspiration on days when I wonder why I'm doing this. It reminds me that it isn't actually for me...and that that is okay!