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How True!

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  • How True!

    Just in case you aren't sure where you live, here are a few ways to tell:

    You Live in California when...
    1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
    2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
    3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
    4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
    phone.
    5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
    6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long
    it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    You Live in New York City when...
    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
    2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
    Building.
    3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
    4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
    5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
    makes you multi-lingual.
    6. You've worn out a car horn.
    7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    You Live in Minnesota or Maine when...
    1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
    2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
    3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
    5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
    construction.

    You Live in the Deep South when...
    1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
    2. "ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
    3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are
    Ya?"
    4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
    5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
    Jean,etc.

    You live in Colorado when....
    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
    2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he
    stops at the day care center.
    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
    4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    You live in the Midwest when...
    1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name!
    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day and vise
    versa.
    4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
    different!"

    You live in Florida when....
    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
    5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
    In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

  • #2
    Re: How True!

    Originally posted by kmbsjbcgb
    You Live in the Deep South when...
    2. "ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
    4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
    5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
    Jean,etc.
    I'm from the Southwest but these all hold true there as well.
    Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
    With fingernails that shine like justice
    And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

    Comment


    • #3
      I grew up in the midwest (Indiana), have spent six years in Texas, and have a sister in "the city", and these totally cracked me up.

      Sally
      Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

      "I don't know when Dad will be home."

      Comment


      • #4
        You live in Florida when....
        2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
        3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
        4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
        5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
        Guilty! We eat dinner at 6 pm though. And I'm not even over 65 yet!

        Ha Ha!
        Mom of 3, Veterinarian

        Comment


        • #5
          That is too funny. I grew up in the South. My brother calls the "older" drivers "Q-tip heads". All of the little white fluffy things you see without faces!!!!
          Luanne

          That may be PC incorrect, but I thought it was funny
          Luanne
          wife, mother, nurse practitioner

          "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

          Comment


          • #6
            These are great, I especially like the artichoke one from California. My husband and I had no idea how to prepare an artichoke before we moved here, now we eat them ALL the time!
            Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

            Comment


            • #7
              Very funny!

              Yeah, I don't get the whole artichoke thing. I have a friend from CA who convinced me to try them and I did but heck, it was a lot of work for an itty bitty piece of what a potato would taste like if it was a vegetable. Didn't do much for me.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hello to the doofus in the previous post - the potato IS a vegetable.

                Oh, that idiot was me. I'm so embarrassed...[/i]

                Comment


                • #9
                  Here are some more Colorado ones I just got in my email. There are a ton and some will only make sense to those who have lived in CO....but funny....especially the last two.

                  YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM COLORADO WHEN....
                  --You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means...
                  --Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.
                  --You're a meat eating vegetarian.
                  --You install security lights on your house and garage but leave all doors unlocked.
                  --You think the major food groups are Power Bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer.
                  --You carry jumper cables in the car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
                  --Driving is better in the winter cause the potholes are filled with snow.
                  --You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a team's victory.
                  --You can never figure out why your out of town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.
                  --You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't
                  get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
                  --You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
                  --Your car insurance costs more than your car.
                  --You have surge protectors on every outlet.
                  --April showers bring May blizzards.
                  --You see someone riding a Harley in a downpour, and you look closer to see if it's anyone you know.
                  --'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been. Manytimes.
                  --You know what a 'Rocky Mountain oyster' is.
                  --You know what a 'fourteener' is.
                  --But you don't know what a 'turn signal' is.
                  --Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning-rod.
                  -- You know who Alfred Packer was.
                  --You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.
                  --You'd be happier if you didn't know who Barbara Streisand was.
                  --SPF 90 is not out of the question.
                  --People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.
                  --Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
                  --Thunder has set off your car alarm.
                  --You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
                  --You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.
                  --You know where the real 'South Park' is.
                  --You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.
                  --Driving directions usually include 'Go over____ Pass...'
                  --You've used 'checking for ticks' as an excuse to get someone naked.
                  --You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka all at the same time.
                  --You've gone skiing in July.
                  --You've gone sunbathing in January.
                  --You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into
                  both oceans.
                  And most important.....
                  You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.

                  Comment

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