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  • Yeah...sometimes it's not co-dependency, it's survival.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
    Angie
    Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
    Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

    "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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    • Originally posted by Sheherezade View Post
      Yeah...sometimes it's not co-dependency, it's survival.


      Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
      Yes! I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I'd just run through all the awful scenarios that could happen. Hell, even a broken finger will put you back several thousand without insurance.
      Tara
      Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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      • I'd probably fill it out too - I don't think it's co-dependent, I think it's making for some of the crap our hubbies pull so that it doesn't hurt us more. I know I've filled out important paperwork for hubby before and just made him read over or sign it before I submitted.
        Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

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        • Another snow day aka TV day. Was so looking forward to dropping both off at daycare. Add a cranky post call DH to the mix and I really have a fun day ahead.

          Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

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          • Originally posted by MAPPLEBUM View Post
            my QUESTION however is am I being codependent by filling out his health insurance application?

            I literally woke up this morning thinking "OK, this is my last day off, I have to fill out that application." and then read a whole thread about codependency and started reexamining my life....
            No, it's not codependency but it's not healthy partnership either. I'd like to hope that you could make big decisions like this as a TEAM. My dawkter husband slipped and fell a couple of years ago, it was a total unpredictable accident. (OK, maybe grown men shouldn't climb apple trees, but still.) He was able to back-door himself into a free diagnosis of his broken ankle, but we couldn't just wave a magic wand and get the orthopedic surgeon's fees and hospital costs to vanish. With our bare-bones insurance we paid $8000 out of pocket -- without, it would have been much more.

            You need to have a serious sit-down, this isn't a laughing matter. What would be codependent, IMO as I am learning, would be NOT to have the tough discussions because you feel responsible for protecting him against them and the negative feelings that might come up when you call him on his asshattery.

            Good luck!!
            Alison

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            • Originally posted by spotty_dog View Post
              No, it's not codependency but it's not healthy partnership either. I'd like to hope that you could make big decisions like this as a TEAM. My dawkter husband slipped and fell a couple of years ago, it was a total unpredictable accident. (OK, maybe grown men shouldn't climb apple trees, but still.) He was able to back-door himself into a free diagnosis of his broken ankle, but we couldn't just wave a magic wand and get the orthopedic surgeon's fees and hospital costs to vanish. With our bare-bones insurance we paid $8000 out of pocket -- without, it would have been much more.

              You need to have a serious sit-down, this isn't a laughing matter. What would be codependent, IMO as I am learning, would be NOT to have the tough discussions because you feel responsible for protecting him against them and the negative feelings that might come up when you call him on his asshattery.

              Good luck!!

              In all fairness I haven't talked to him seriously about the subject, but realized when I woke up yesterday and was thinking "OK I need to fill out that application today" that it may be enabling him even further. I read someone said a few months ago they've finally accepted that when something needs to be done they have 3 choices, 1) do it yourself 2) pay someone to do it or 3) forget about it. I'm about in that boat. His residency program is working the guy to the bone. And also, to be fair, I thought it was pretty funny when he said that about being an effing doctor.

              When I turned 26 I went a few months without insurance until the fear of something terrible happening became too great. He's gone to the doctor once for a ...well child check up...I don't know what they're called for adults... in the whole time I've known him, so we're both very healthy people. The only reason I have insurance is in the case of catastrophe. But if he's breaking his contract by not having any insurance that's not something to mess with.

              He fell asleep at 7:15 last night so I didn't get to bring it up.

              Vishenka, I was hoping today would be a snow day too! Of course it's just frigid.
              Last edited by MAPPLEBUM; 01-03-2014, 10:41 AM.

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              • I had a dream that we matched in DFW for intern year, but Laredo for Rads residency (not even an option) in late Jan before he had even finished interviewing. I was devastated and trying to convince him to tell his school something was wrong, but he wouldn't, so I did, and it was all a mistake.

                This is why I can't sleep!!
                Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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                • Today I had my butthole violated. Sounds much more sexy than it actually was.

                  I had my first internal coccyx adjustment today. And while my PT was digging around in there, I had a vasovagal response and blurted: "I'm getting really hot." Not my finest moment! But there's nothing else to do but laugh in situations like that. And tonight, for the first time in 4 months, I can sit without pain. Keeping fingers crossed!
                  Married to a peds surgeon attending

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                  • So, as a whole, sounds like a good time!


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                    • Originally posted by Mrs. MD, Esq. View Post
                      So, as a whole, sounds like a good time!


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                      Hole, whole, hahaha!
                      Married to a peds surgeon attending

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                      • Today...

                        Originally posted by weeniegeniewife View Post
                        Hole, whole, hahaha!
                        You know, I nearly changed that to "all in all" but thought that, surely, nobody is as immature as me. Haha, thank you for proving me wrong!


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                        • Originally posted by Mrs. MD, Esq. View Post
                          You know, I nearly changed that to "all in all" but thought that, surely, nobody is as immature as me. Haha, thank you for proving me wrong!


                          Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
                          Really, I could name a half a dozen who would make the same joke without thinking too hard.
                          Kris

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                          • Today actually occurred late last night but I'm sure you will all forgive me.

                            Last evening we had the extremely lovely pleasure of spending with MSB and her awesome husband! We had lots of fun gabbing and laughing. So thankful for our beginning friendship.

                            The downer is that DrBtobe received a call from his mom explaining that his dad is in the Neuro ICU due to a brain aneurysm. He was having stroke like symptoms yesterday and was taken by ambulance to the hospital. CT found the aneurysm and luckily it is intact. Interventional Radiology is going in today to try to coil it so we are hoping that works. Otherwise, neurosurgery will take over.

                            DrBtobe is trying to be all cool but he's worried. I know this is when it sucks the most to be 2,500 miles from home.
                            wife of a PGY-2 anesthesiology resident & mother of one adorable baby girl

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                            • Yikes! Sorry to hear that DrBandMe. I hope this turns out well. Yes, it sucks to be far from home at a time like this. <hugs>
                              In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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                              • I'm sorry, I hope he is ok. It is awful to be so far away. Make sure his family keeps him updated. It's worse when you don't know what's going on.

                                Sent from my KFSOWI using Tapatalk
                                Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
                                Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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