Top ten signs your family might be on the trashy side

[houseelf]

Actually, all my examples were in my extended family, but I'll play the client game too.

-You are unable to proceed with Rule 5 sentencing for DUI because the accused is too drunk to enter a plea
-One of the hotly contested pieces of property in the divorce settlement are the personal videos you made (Yes THOSE videos)
-You bring a date to your divorce proceedings.

[HouseofWool]

If you are playing the client/patient game, my favorite story is when E was on an OB rotation. His patient's baby-daddy had two women in the same hospital at the same time delivering his babies.

[Auspicious]

*

[diggitydot]

My family tree does not fork.

I disagree. I think it forks itself a little too much.

[Vanquisher]

My family has plenty of trash fodder in it, and the relatives aren't that distant. Chad's family too.

[Bittersweet]

When your uncle throws out his back on the morning of his (3rd) wedding while "wrastling" with a sibling. It was actually pretty hilarious, but dude!!

[MrsK]

I disagree. I think it forks itself a little too much.

[oceanchild]

Your uncle's... crop (of medical marijuana)... was once stolen because the guy he hired to guard it fell asleep on the job.

[MrsSz]

If you are playing the client/patient game, my favorite story is when E was on an OB rotation. His patient's baby-daddy had two women in the same hospital at the same time delivering his babies.

Awesome

I disagree. I think it forks itself a little too much.

[moonlight]

Come on MrsSz I know you've got to have a couple good ones from one lovely inlaw of yours! haha!

[Thirteen]

*pulls up pants*
Okay, so:

Grandma brings her own bourbon to Christmas, sips on branch water all day, and falls off the stairs onto her back.
She, super wasted and slurring, refuses to let my husband examine her (even though she has severe osteoporosis *and* is bleeding from a head wound), and kicks him with tiny slippered feet. In his stomach. Over and over. While he is ill with a stomach virus.

My aunt has her first drink around 9:30am. I do not believe I have ever seen her sober in my life.

My day's side of the family likes to play two card. Everyone brings a huge sack of coinage to any family gathering, and take each other's money. Gambling needs alcohol, so most of them also bring large coolers on wheels, full of long necks, which they begin consuming starting around 10am.

Eh.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MrsSz]

Hahah.. Oh ML, It's so true...

- if your father gives not only your 5 year old red bull, but your 9 month old!
- if at your daughters 1st birthday party, your mother (YES MOTHER) is 8 months pregnant ..
- Your little brother (19) is dating your grandmothers VFW drinking buddy
- Your boobs hang out so much all the time your Daughters ask their super amazing aunt why her "bubbies don't come out to play like mommy's"
- youve gotten pregnant on "birth control" three times in 5 years... And you're 23

Do I sound bitter much? Haha