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How to Shower like a Woman:
1. Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to color.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave in hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits and tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to Shower like a Man:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake your stuff at her while making the "woo-woo!" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire your body and scratch your butt.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how funny they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a shampoo mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fait to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out.
16. Admire your body in the mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife along the way, pull off towel, shake your stuff at her and make the "woo-woo!" sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on the bed.
1. Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to color.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave in hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits and tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to Shower like a Man:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake your stuff at her while making the "woo-woo!" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire your body and scratch your butt.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how funny they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a shampoo mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fait to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out.
16. Admire your body in the mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife along the way, pull off towel, shake your stuff at her and make the "woo-woo!" sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on the bed.
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