Announcement

Collapse

Facebook Forum Migration

Our forums have migrated to Facebook. If you are already an iMSN forum member you will be grandfathered in.

To access the Call Room and Marriage Matters, head to: https://m.facebook.com/groups/400932...eferrer=search

You can find the health and fitness forums here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/133538...eferrer=search

Private parenting discussions are here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/382903...eferrer=search

We look forward to seeing you on Facebook!
See more
See less

marriage

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • marriage

    Subject: Marriage Part 1, 2, 3 & 4

    Marriage (Part I)
    Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
    His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
    ( SHE'S GOOD!)

    Marriage (Part II)
    Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.' "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
    (HE ASKED FOR IT!)

    Marriage (Part III)
    Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
    Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?"
    "Getting a second opinion!"
    (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

    Marriage (Part IV)
    A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
    (RIGHT ON, LADY!)

    God may have created man before woman but there is always a
    rough draft before the masterpiece.

    SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU
    THINK CAN HANDLE IT.

  • #2
    Thanks Matt!!

    Finally a joke I can send my father that he hasn't already sent to me!!!

    Angie
    Angie
    Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
    Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

    "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

    Comment


    • #3
      Those are funny Matt!
      Awake is the new sleep!

      Comment


      • #4
        LOL
        Luanne
        wife, mother, nurse practitioner

        "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

        Comment


        • #5
          Those were good, Matt!

          Comment

          Working...
          X