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Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Mayo. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to RnaG in Galway, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
so thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my
office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a
wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm
is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This EUR
20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I
do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of
sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This
only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I
pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I
realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a
jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my
back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my arse
was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my arse. I informed the dive supervisor
of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due
to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the
medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my arse as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
hole was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your backside. Now
repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to RnaG in Galway, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
so thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my
office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a
wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm
is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This EUR
20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I
do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of
sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This
only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I
pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I
realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a
jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my
back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my arse
was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my arse. I informed the dive supervisor
of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due
to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the
medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my arse as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
hole was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your backside. Now
repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
and my professor wanted to come with me to pour bicarbonate solution on the burn
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