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> > The Guys' Rules
> >
> > At last a guy has taken the time to write this all
> > down
> >
> > Finally, the guys' side of the story.
> > (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> >
> >
> > We always hear "the rules"
> > from the female side.
> > Now here are the rules from the male side.
> > These are our rules!
> > Please note .. these are all numbered "1"
> > ON PURPOSE!
> >
> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> > We need it up, you need it down.
> > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
> > down.
> >
> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
> > or the changing of the tides.
> > Let it be.
> >
> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> > And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
> >
> > 1. Crying is blackmail.
> >
> > 1. Ask for what you want.
> > Let us be clear on this one:
> > Subtle hints do not work!
> > Strong hints do not work!
> > Obvious hints do not work!
> > Just say it!
> >
> > 1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
> > almost every question.
> >
> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> > solving it.
> > That's what we do.
> > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >
> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
> >
> > See a doctor.
> >
> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
> > an argument.
> > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
> > days.
> >
> > 1. If you won't dress like the <?xml:n amespace
> > prefix = st1 ns =
> > "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
ffice:smarttags"
> > />Victoria's Secret girls,
> > don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
> >
> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> > Don't ask us.
> >
> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
> > and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
> > we meant the other one.
> >
> > 1. You can either ask us to do something
> > or tell us how you want it done.
> > Not both.
> > If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> > yourself.
> >
> > 1. Whenever possible,
> > please say whatever you have to say during
> > commercials.
> >
> > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
> > neither do we.
> >
> > 1 . ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
> > default settings.
> > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
> > is also a fruit.
> > We have no idea what mauve is.
> >
> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> > We do that.
> >
> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
> > we will act like nothing's wrong.
> > We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> > hassle.
> >
> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
> > to,
> > expect an answer you don't want to hear.
> >
> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
> > you wear is
> > fine...Really.
> >
> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
> > are
> > prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
> > shotgun formation, or
> > monster trucks.
> >
> > 1. You have enough clothes.
> >
> > 1. You have too many shoes.
> >
> > 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >
> > 1. Thank you for reading this.
> > Yes, I know, I have to slee p on the couch tonight;
> >
> >
> >
> > but did you know men really don't mind that? It's
> > like camping.
> >
> > Pass this to as many men as you can --
> > to give them a laugh.
> >
> > Pass this to as many women as you can --
> > to give them a bigger laugh!
> >
> > At last a guy has taken the time to write this all
> > down
> >
> > Finally, the guys' side of the story.
> > (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> >
> >
> > We always hear "the rules"
> > from the female side.
> > Now here are the rules from the male side.
> > These are our rules!
> > Please note .. these are all numbered "1"
> > ON PURPOSE!
> >
> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> > We need it up, you need it down.
> > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
> > down.
> >
> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
> > or the changing of the tides.
> > Let it be.
> >
> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> > And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
> >
> > 1. Crying is blackmail.
> >
> > 1. Ask for what you want.
> > Let us be clear on this one:
> > Subtle hints do not work!
> > Strong hints do not work!
> > Obvious hints do not work!
> > Just say it!
> >
> > 1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
> > almost every question.
> >
> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> > solving it.
> > That's what we do.
> > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >
> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
> >
> > See a doctor.
> >
> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
> > an argument.
> > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
> > days.
> >
> > 1. If you won't dress like the <?xml:n amespace
> > prefix = st1 ns =
> > "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
ffice:smarttags"> > />Victoria's Secret girls,
> > don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
> >
> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> > Don't ask us.
> >
> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
> > and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
> > we meant the other one.
> >
> > 1. You can either ask us to do something
> > or tell us how you want it done.
> > Not both.
> > If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> > yourself.
> >
> > 1. Whenever possible,
> > please say whatever you have to say during
> > commercials.
> >
> > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
> > neither do we.
> >
> > 1 . ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
> > default settings.
> > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
> > is also a fruit.
> > We have no idea what mauve is.
> >
> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> > We do that.
> >
> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
> > we will act like nothing's wrong.
> > We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> > hassle.
> >
> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
> > to,
> > expect an answer you don't want to hear.
> >
> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
> > you wear is
> > fine...Really.
> >
> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
> > are
> > prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
> > shotgun formation, or
> > monster trucks.
> >
> > 1. You have enough clothes.
> >
> > 1. You have too many shoes.
> >
> > 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >
> > 1. Thank you for reading this.
> > Yes, I know, I have to slee p on the couch tonight;
> >
> >
> >
> > but did you know men really don't mind that? It's
> > like camping.
> >
> > Pass this to as many men as you can --
> > to give them a laugh.
> >
> > Pass this to as many women as you can --
> > to give them a bigger laugh!
I'm emailing these to Jon. I'm sure he'll find them all quite appropriate.... 
Jennifer
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