This is your “you’ve arrived at residency letter.”

[gcuthbe1]

This article/letter are wonderful. I hope you all find this as helpful as I did (at least parts of it anyways, I personally am not a parent yet but I have worried about lots of these things in considering a family)! I recommend checking out the "similar" articles section at the bottom, too!

http://www.katebaer.com/2015/07/02/g...ks-long-hours/

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[EvieLee]

This is your “you’ve arrived at residency letter.”

This was really good thank you for sharing. It's a strange thing to read this now that DF and I have gone our separate ways. I could relate to so many parts of this in a somewhat bittersweet way (sadly he's not even in residency yet...sigh). Thank you


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[WolfpackWife]

😭


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[MrsInTheMiddle]

Thanks for sharing. We don't have any children - yet - and I give so much credit to the folks who do and make it out of training whole. This note really spoke to me about friends not getting it and doubting himself as a doctor in the beginning. So true.


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[rufflesanddots]

This was really good thank you for sharing. It's a strange thing to read this now that DF and I have gone our separate ways. I could relate to so many parts of this in a somewhat bittersweet way (sadly he's not even in residency yet...sigh). Thank you


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You've been in my thoughts, [MENTION=5042]EvieLee[/MENTION]. How've you been?

[EvieLee]

You've been in my thoughts, [MENTION=5042]EvieLee[/MENTION]. How've you been?

Not too bad considering, uni is mad as I finish for good in under 30 days. I'm going to take a bit of time to work out where too next and get my feet back under me, I'm looking forward to a bit of a break thanks for thinking of me


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[spotty_dog]

[MENTION=5042]EvieLee[/MENTION]!

Wow, I really love that letter. I went in expecting not to, because all too often these things come off a bit whiny and martyred. but they hit all the important points and did it in a way that respects the medical spouse, the non-medical spouse, and all the other families who daily go through tough situations alongside co-parents who are absent more than they want to be. Strong work, letter-writer!

And I like the bit about sharing with those who get it. *That's what we're here for.*

[SoonerTexan]

I thought I would find it annoying too, but it really rang trie


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[gcuthbe1]

Yeah I really enjoyed how she mentioned being appreciative of what we have, and how fortunate we are. Plus, that this applies to a lot of other couples who work lots and have to spend time apart. It's a nice perspective!

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[Lynnea]

What wonderful words you have shared! And how true it is to be grateful for what we DO have when others are struggling even more than we are (even though at the height of the moment we feel we have it worse than anyone in the world..at least that's how I sometimes feel). It is always humbling for me to take a minute to just breathe and think of everything I do have to be thankful for and how lucky I really am. In the midst of hard times, it is very difficult for me to remember these things. I very much enjoyed reading this letter and hope that when I find myself in a bad place or struggling I can come back and find some comfort in this. One of the most important things for me to remember is that I am truly not alone in this journey and that there are people thriving and happy in the middle of it all!

[dtdreamangel]

What a powerful read! Thank you so much for sharing! I like how it reminders me that SO is already feeling guilty on his end, and just be grateful!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

This was really great. Much of it resonated.

Especially the part about the extended family not getting it. Or others pitying you. In the land of stay at home moms and dads who are home at 5 (read: our very middle class neighborhood), we are a huge anomaly. And I don't like pity.

The resentment thing also rang true. I feel frustrated that I can't pursue jobs professionally that I would like because of his career. I forget what it would be like to actually feel super motivated to go to work every day.

[MAPPLEBUM]

I think I've created too much of a safe space. Please don't tell me about the worst eye infection you've ever seen while I'm eating my eggs...

[MsSassyBaskets]

I think I've created too much of a safe space. Please don't tell me about the worst eye infection you've ever seen while I'm eating my eggs...

I actually saw this letter back in July, and quite frankly I wasn't ready to hear it. I was too pissed off. I spent the whole month raging against the whole situation, and then all of August recovering my sanity. A couple more months in, and now it makes a lot of sense. But sometimes you just have to work through the stages of grief.

[gem]

I actually saw this letter back in July, and quite frankly I wasn't ready to hear it. I was too pissed off. I spent the whole month raging against the whole situation, and then all of August recovering my sanity. A couple more months in, and now it makes a lot of sense. But sometimes you just have to work through the stages of grief.

One month? Hat tip. It took me about half a decade to reach acceptance. Really wish I'd learned to let go of resentment earlier.