Announcement

Collapse

Facebook Forum Migration

Our forums have migrated to Facebook. If you are already an iMSN forum member you will be grandfathered in.

To access the Call Room and Marriage Matters, head to: https://m.facebook.com/groups/400932...eferrer=search

You can find the health and fitness forums here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/133538...eferrer=search

Private parenting discussions are here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/382903...eferrer=search

We look forward to seeing you on Facebook!
See more
See less

Patient Chart Humor

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Patient Chart Humor

    I got this forward, and though I usually delete without looking, this one made me laugh out loud. Since I'm kind of out of the loop as far as these things go, I'm sorry if this is really old and everyone has seen it before. Its new to me!

    Actual Transcriptions of Patient Charts

    1. The patient refused autopsy.
    2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
    3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
    4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
    5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
    6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
    7. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
    8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
    depressed.
    9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
    10. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
    11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
    12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
    13. She is numb from her toes down.
    14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
    15. The skin was moist and dry.
    16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
    17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
    18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
    19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she
    got a divorce.
    20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
    21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
    22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized
    23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
    24. Skin: somewhat pale. but present.
    25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
    26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
    27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

  • #2
    Some of those were familiar, but I was still cracking up--I almost choked on my potato chips!
    Awake is the new sleep!

    Comment


    • #3
      Those are hilarious! I'd never seen them before!

      Comment


      • #4
        lol! gotta save those for DH... might be a nice pick me up for when he has a bad day

        Comment

        Working...
        X