Available at 
Tweet
In a recent readers' contest, The Washington Post asked contestants to take any hyphenated heading at the top of any page of the Yellow Pages and create a definition for the compound word they formed. Here are some:
Advertising-Air: Touting a product when you already have a monopoly with no alternatives. "Seeing ads for U.S. postage stamps is like advertising-air."
Alcohol-Apartments: Universities used to call these "dormitories."
Artificial-Asphalt: Polenta.
Balancing-Balloons: Silicone implants on just one side to "even things up."
Banquet-Beauty: A euphemism for a plus-size woman.
Child-Duct: An FCC-acceptable euphemism for part of the female anatomy.
Chiropractors-Christmas: A forecast of freezing rain and heavy, wet snow.
Curtain-Dancing: What burlesque queens resort to when they've lost the figure for fan-dancing.
Demolition-Dentists: Let us rearrange your mouth in a single visit.
Foam-Foods: The nation's top sup-plier of airline meals.
Granite-Grocers: Specializing in those holiday fruitcakes.
House-Human: The token normal person at Michael Jackson's home.
Iron-Jewelers: For the gift that tells her you'd tolerate her all over again.
Kitchen-Labor: Term of endear-ment likely to go over even less well than "the old ball and chain."
Lawn-Lawyers: Little statues of guys in business suits holding attache cases -- for the discriminating homeowner who'd never have a lawn jockey.
Movers-Moving and Nurses-Nursing: What I got on the 13th and 14th days of Christmas.
Piano-Pizza: An industry term for household pets that get in the way of furniture movers.
Radio-Ready: Less than photogenic. "That guy has a face that's radio-ready."
Rental-Reporters: The memo line on Armstrong Williams' pay stub.
Rubber-Safe: Where the bank puts the bounced checks.
Sheet-Social: Code phrase for a KKK rally.
Stools-Storage: Label on a vault in Howard Hughes' home.
Wedding-Welding: Up to 40 percent less likely to be put asunder!
Advertising-Air: Touting a product when you already have a monopoly with no alternatives. "Seeing ads for U.S. postage stamps is like advertising-air."
Alcohol-Apartments: Universities used to call these "dormitories."
Artificial-Asphalt: Polenta.
Balancing-Balloons: Silicone implants on just one side to "even things up."
Banquet-Beauty: A euphemism for a plus-size woman.
Child-Duct: An FCC-acceptable euphemism for part of the female anatomy.
Chiropractors-Christmas: A forecast of freezing rain and heavy, wet snow.
Curtain-Dancing: What burlesque queens resort to when they've lost the figure for fan-dancing.
Demolition-Dentists: Let us rearrange your mouth in a single visit.
Foam-Foods: The nation's top sup-plier of airline meals.
Granite-Grocers: Specializing in those holiday fruitcakes.
House-Human: The token normal person at Michael Jackson's home.
Iron-Jewelers: For the gift that tells her you'd tolerate her all over again.
Kitchen-Labor: Term of endear-ment likely to go over even less well than "the old ball and chain."
Lawn-Lawyers: Little statues of guys in business suits holding attache cases -- for the discriminating homeowner who'd never have a lawn jockey.
Movers-Moving and Nurses-Nursing: What I got on the 13th and 14th days of Christmas.
Piano-Pizza: An industry term for household pets that get in the way of furniture movers.
Radio-Ready: Less than photogenic. "That guy has a face that's radio-ready."
Rental-Reporters: The memo line on Armstrong Williams' pay stub.
Rubber-Safe: Where the bank puts the bounced checks.
Sheet-Social: Code phrase for a KKK rally.
Stools-Storage: Label on a vault in Howard Hughes' home.
Wedding-Welding: Up to 40 percent less likely to be put asunder!
That was great!!
Comment