RANT: I hate my husband's stupid program!!!!!

[Vanquisher]

I'm sorry! I hate his stupid program too!! Is there a way he could catch a ride with someone else from the program. They reall can't expect you to go, especially since they aren't footing the bill.

Obviously your husband shouldn't have to go either, but I don't know if you can get out of that one. Sometimes there is a lot of bullcrap to wade through, until you hit the next pile.

Hugs!

[Rapunzel]

I'm hate'n on the entire situation for you, too!

There should be a private "rant" section I think.

Jennifer

Oh......I'd be pretty mad about all that too. What a bunch of crap. It's not like you are trying to sneak in on all that "fun"!

[Auspicious]

Re: RANT: I hate my husband's stupid program!!!!!

listen to the leader of the program verbally entertain himself

What is with these people? It reminds me of the time my husband was on a rotation and they ended up with some downtime. Husband says normally attendings will take an opportunity like that to teach something or other, but this guy "decided to teach about The Greatness of Himself, apparently." He started talking about this hobby of his, and ended up going on and on about it for two hours! What could the students do but nod politely? The kicker, though, is that it was a very expensive, wealthy-people-only hobby! Who goes on and on about their I-have-sooo-much-money hobby to a group that's financially scraping by? I mean, if people have money certainly they should enjoy it, but remember who your audience is and give it a rest.

[Sheherezade]

Hope you feel better!

The program sound like it sucks entirely. Well at least their PR sucks. I'd be after the administrator as well. I'm glad you are driving him, but do they honestly expect you to get a room? Is he supposed to share otherwise? WTF? Seems bizarre, and meanspirited.

Re: RANT: I hate my husband's stupid program!!!!!

Well, let's see - does that mean they should target only nonmarried students for their program? If we are "one way" or "another" part of the program, but also not, then which way is one way and which is the other?

I'm sure this is news to no one, but there are some programs that pretty much do target singles vs. marrieds. Or, at least they make it pretty darn clear that marriage is not a priority in the program. I know of a gen surgery program that claimed 140% divorce rate during residency when my dh was interviewing. Yes - that means married divorced, married divorced during the same program.

[SueC]

Re: RANT: I hate my husband's stupid program!!!!!

I know of a gen surgery program that claimed 140% divorce rate during residency when my dh was interviewing. Yes - that means married divorced, married divorced during the same program.

Wow! So you are saying they have time to date at that program!

they're sending him 5 hours away for a med school rotation? is this an AI or still part of his core clerkships?? that's nutty!

I think you've hit the nail on the head w/respect to your indignation. It's a lifestyle, mindset, etc. And not at all a healthy one. You're way ahead of the curve to already realize this MS3. At that point I still had the fantasy of "when med school is over ....."

[DCJenn]

The away rotations do have a benefit though- I was fitter and my house was cleaner than either have ever been again.

Jenn

(Rick decided to do ALL of his 4th year rotations away from USUHS, so the poor baby suffered in San Diego, Seattle, San Antonio, and Honolulu...we were dating though so it was quite romantic to fly to see him occasionally)

they're sending him 5 hours away for a med school rotation? is this an AI or still part of his core clerkships?? that's nutty!

Like SpiritDancer's DH, my DW is also a third year and is four hours away right now on rotation (OB/Gyn) (for six weeks) -- not a choice either.

SpiritDancer, I hope things get better for you in regards to the medical school program.

From my experience with my wife's program, it's not been so much malignant (toward family) just sort of a benign neglect. Nothing has been offered (by the school) for medical spouses. I cracked up prior to her matriculation when I went to the school's (shall remain unnamed) website. The online "resources" for spouses said in a nutshell -- your spouse will be busy, he/she will be stressed and you might want to expect this and volunteer (see links to community volunteer options).

As scant as that advice was, I think it was nonetheless sound. Right now, I'm realizing that I should've become more involved in the community, etc. Oddly, the time away from my wife (just a week at this point) has really helped me to realize that I need more involvement outside of work, exercise, cleaning the house.

Okay, I'm rambling and hijacking. Sorry!

In Medicine, this isn't a job. This isn't a career. This is a LIFESTYLE. My personal and professional goals have many times been morphed into something unrecognizable or thrown to the dogs because I love my husband and support his participation in this program. For the program heads to constantly inform me that I only serve to drag my husband down, they are negating my worth. They negate my value not only as a person but as a support that will get this new doctor born into the world someday in 2007. It is appalling and demoralizing and if I didn't resent the implications, I would be nuts. So they can stuff it. They can stuff it, and the head of your spouse's program who says the same to you can stuff it.

Shout it from the rooftops, sister!!!

Rinse and repeat for residency.

[PrincessFiona]

Holy COW....I'm just reading this thread, and all I can say is:




kris