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Subject: Limited edition for the Colorado Market
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited edition Barbie Dolls
for the Colorado Market:
Subject: FW: NEW COLORADO BARBIES FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON
Highlands Ranch Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Park Meadows Mall. She comes with
an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a longhaired
foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or
without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in
conjunction with "augmented" version.
Englewood Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full
time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone
sold separately.
Colfax Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model
is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash.
Preferably small untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we
don't know what you are talking about.
Cherry Creek Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private
School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Commerce City Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has
a six-pack of Bud and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5
feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her
pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
absolutely free.
Arvada Barbie
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is cause he's
always hunting.
Aspen Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the
lodge. Percocet prescription available.
Thornton Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
Beer-Gutted Ken out of Commerce City Barbie's house. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see
through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
Boulder Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or
need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Boulder Barbies and the
optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
Aurora Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy
were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition
of the infant.
Littleton/Lakewood Barbie
(See Arvada Barbie)
Pueblo Barbie
This Spanish Speaking only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota Corolla
with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat,
but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a Taco Bell uniform
and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green Cards are not
available for Barbie or Ken.
Trinidad Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited edition Barbie Dolls
for the Colorado Market:
Subject: FW: NEW COLORADO BARBIES FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON
Highlands Ranch Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Park Meadows Mall. She comes with
an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a longhaired
foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or
without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in
conjunction with "augmented" version.
Englewood Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full
time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone
sold separately.
Colfax Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model
is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash.
Preferably small untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we
don't know what you are talking about.
Cherry Creek Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private
School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Commerce City Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has
a six-pack of Bud and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5
feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her
pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
absolutely free.
Arvada Barbie
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is cause he's
always hunting.
Aspen Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the
lodge. Percocet prescription available.
Thornton Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
Beer-Gutted Ken out of Commerce City Barbie's house. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see
through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
Boulder Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or
need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Boulder Barbies and the
optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
Aurora Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy
were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition
of the infant.
Littleton/Lakewood Barbie
(See Arvada Barbie)
Pueblo Barbie
This Spanish Speaking only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota Corolla
with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat,
but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a Taco Bell uniform
and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green Cards are not
available for Barbie or Ken.
Trinidad Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.
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