Top ten---signs that you are a parent

[houseelf]

10. All of your disposible income goes to McDonald's, Chuck-E-Cheese, and arcades.

9. When someone asks you what time the nightclubs close, you have no idea.

8. You regularly wear clothes that have some combination of playdoh, macaroni and cheese, and spit up stains on them....
Edited by: kmbsjbcgb at: 4/9/02 9:47:48 am

7. Your profilactic is exhaustion.

6. Extra oxygen and rappling hooks are required to reach the top of your pile(s) of dirty laundry.

And I've been there (actually, I'm there right now)

Quiet moments wake you up faster than your alarm clock.

You understand how such little children can have so much energy...they drain it from directly from you!

You nap face-down or while wearing a helmet because it's safer that way.

The phrase "you have something stuck to your shirt" doesn't even make you look down to see what it is.

If you had no other option, you could clean poop, urine, snot, and vomit with your bare hand.

You could sleep on the roof of your house during an ice storm, if it got you a few moments of peace.

You can't get the VCR to stop flashing "12:00", but you can combine five Transformer robots into one Super-Mega-OptimusPrime...in the dark...with one hand...while driving.

You can make a hearty breakfast of pancakes, sausage, scrambled eggs, and toast without ever actually waking up.

You always believed that the school year was too long and now you wonder why it doesn't run seven days a week year round.

Not only can you identify every single cartoon character in existence, you can also sing the theme song to their show.

You hire a babysitter, so you can stay home and sleep.

You hire a babysitter, so you can have another adult to talk to.

You can sleep with your eyes open and your mouth saying "Wow, what else did Spider-Man do?" every five seconds.

If it keeps them occupied for a few hours, you let your children build a fort from super-glue, wedding photos, and kraft singles.

You don't mind playing fun games like "Hide-And-Daddy-Will-Sleep-On-The-Couch".

Why do parents cry on the first day of school?
Because it's the happiest day of their lives!

[houseelf]

Big Remo-



I'm getting snot bubbles from laughing so hard! You have parenthood pegged! I'm trying not to laugh too hard here at work but this is a hysterical list!

Kelly

[PrincessFiona]

HOly Cow

I laughed so hard that I started CRYING!!!!

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!!!

Kris