A new diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador retriever
and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the
hospital. I said no. I'd been sitting in the street licking myself and a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have be carried out of the store!

[MissCrabette]

I know some people are gullible but this blows my mind.

[Momo]

I don't know Matt... but I'm thinkin' we need a thread called "open mike" so you can headline Thanks a bunch for the laughter