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***FEEL FREE TO THROW TOMATOES***
...or money! (some of these are real stinkers, some are funny)
Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the do g up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. There are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad or maybe my older brother Calvin or my younger brother Ho-Chin. But I'm pretty sure it's Calvin.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
I went to the butcher the other day to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
...or money! (some of these are real stinkers, some are funny)
Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the do g up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. There are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad or maybe my older brother Calvin or my younger brother Ho-Chin. But I'm pretty sure it's Calvin.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
I went to the butcher the other day to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.