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The following correspondence actually occurred
between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests.
The London hotel involved submitted this to the
Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of
soap in my bathroom since I have bought my own
bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened
little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
and another three in the shower soap dish. They
are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow,
Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out
of the shower soap dish as your requested. The 6 bars
on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of
your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your
mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my
instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps
daily. I hope this is satisfactory. Kathy, Relief Maid.
Dear Maid,
I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did
not tell you about my note to her concerning the little
bars of soap. When I got back to my room this
evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to
the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be
here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my
own bath-sized Dial so I won't need those 6 little
Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way
when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
Please remove them. S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wednesday so the relief maid left
3 hotel soaps which we are instucted by the management.
I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf
and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put
the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I
didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are also
placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins
and which you did not object to when you checked in last
Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further
assistance. Your regular maid, Dotty
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this
A. M. that you called him last evening and said you were
unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new
girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies
for any past inconvenience. If you have any further
complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal
attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 AM and
5 PM. Thank you. Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the
hotel for business at 7:45 A.M. and don't get back before
5:30 or 6:00 P.M. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder
last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder
if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new
maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in
today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine
cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom
shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.
Why are you doing this to me? S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, kathy has been instructed to stop delivering soap
to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further
assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8:00 AM and
5:00 PM. Thank you. Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-sized Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken
from my room including my own bath-sized Dial. I came in
late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little
Cashmere Bouquets. S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our houskeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your
soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no
soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave
3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The
situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my
apologies for the inconvenience. Martin L. Kensedder,
Assistant Manager
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I
came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't
want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar
of bath-sized Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of
soap in here. All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give
me back my bath-size Dial. S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them
removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your
soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays
which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to
receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere
Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had
returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the
3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel
issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some
bath-size Ivory which I left in your room. Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my
latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
1. On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in
4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
2. On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks
of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
3. On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere
Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8
Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
4. Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks
of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
5. In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
6. On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet,
slightly used.
7. On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2
stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to
make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted.
Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4
have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my
bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an
excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more
item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized
Dial which I am keeping the hotel vault in order to
avoid further misunderstanding. S. Berman
between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests.
The London hotel involved submitted this to the
Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of
soap in my bathroom since I have bought my own
bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened
little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
and another three in the shower soap dish. They
are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow,
Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out
of the shower soap dish as your requested. The 6 bars
on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of
your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your
mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my
instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps
daily. I hope this is satisfactory. Kathy, Relief Maid.
Dear Maid,
I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did
not tell you about my note to her concerning the little
bars of soap. When I got back to my room this
evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to
the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be
here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my
own bath-sized Dial so I won't need those 6 little
Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way
when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
Please remove them. S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wednesday so the relief maid left
3 hotel soaps which we are instucted by the management.
I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf
and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put
the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I
didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are also
placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins
and which you did not object to when you checked in last
Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further
assistance. Your regular maid, Dotty
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this
A. M. that you called him last evening and said you were
unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new
girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies
for any past inconvenience. If you have any further
complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal
attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 AM and
5 PM. Thank you. Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the
hotel for business at 7:45 A.M. and don't get back before
5:30 or 6:00 P.M. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder
last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder
if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new
maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in
today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine
cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom
shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.
Why are you doing this to me? S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, kathy has been instructed to stop delivering soap
to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further
assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8:00 AM and
5:00 PM. Thank you. Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-sized Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken
from my room including my own bath-sized Dial. I came in
late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little
Cashmere Bouquets. S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our houskeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your
soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no
soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave
3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The
situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my
apologies for the inconvenience. Martin L. Kensedder,
Assistant Manager
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I
came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't
want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar
of bath-sized Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of
soap in here. All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give
me back my bath-size Dial. S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them
removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your
soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays
which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to
receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere
Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had
returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the
3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel
issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some
bath-size Ivory which I left in your room. Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my
latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
1. On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in
4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
2. On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks
of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
3. On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere
Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8
Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
4. Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks
of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
5. In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
6. On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet,
slightly used.
7. On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2
stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to
make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted.
Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4
have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my
bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an
excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more
item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized
Dial which I am keeping the hotel vault in order to
avoid further misunderstanding. S. Berman
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