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EIM's new company policy that is being effective at the first of the
year.
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>EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:
>Company Policy:
>Effective February 01, 2006
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>Dress Code
>It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If
>we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you
>are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you
>dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that
you
>may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you
>dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you
>do not need a raise .
>
>Sick Days
>We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If
>you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
>
>Personal Days
>Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
>Saturday & Sunday.
>
>Bereavement Leave
>This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
dead
>friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
>non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee
>involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late
>afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour
>and subsequently leave one hour early.
>
>
>Toilet Use
>Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
>strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
>minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the
>stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second
>offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board
under
>the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture
>will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
>
>Lunch Break
>Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so
>that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch
>to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people
>get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a
>Slim-Fast.
>
>
>
>Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
>positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
>concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
>insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
>and input should be directed elsewhere .
>
>
year.
>
>
>
>
>EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:
>Company Policy:
>Effective February 01, 2006
>
>
>
>Dress Code
>It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If
>we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you
>are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you
>dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that
you
>may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you
>dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you
>do not need a raise .
>
>Sick Days
>We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If
>you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
>
>Personal Days
>Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
>Saturday & Sunday.
>
>Bereavement Leave
>This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
dead
>friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
>non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee
>involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late
>afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour
>and subsequently leave one hour early.
>
>
>Toilet Use
>Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
>strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
>minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the
>stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second
>offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board
under
>the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture
>will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
>
>Lunch Break
>Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so
>that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch
>to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people
>get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a
>Slim-Fast.
>
>
>
>Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
>positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
>concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
>insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
>and input should be directed elsewhere .
>
>
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