Starting Med School

Hello, I'm not the spouse, but the person leaving for med school. I'm not sure if it's just cold feet or genuine doubts about what I am about to do. I am married and I have a very supportive husband (he has said that he wouldn't mind being a SAHD). I guess I worry that we are going to be giving up a really good income (his, I've mostly just been a student), a house (we have to relocate), and comfy lifestyle. I keep looking at what I have here and how lucky we are and I wonder if it's worth finding eventual fulfillment (hopefully) in a career. I have shadowed residents and they have got it rough, but most physicians that I have talked to do actually enjoy their jobs. It would probably be an easier decision if we weren't already established where we are. I also wish I could find a different career that appeals to me in the same way medicine does. Has anyone else given up a good life for medical school?

We did. Mostly we've felt we did the right thing.

There have certainly been moments (especially 1st year) where we wondered why we had done this. We've still been pretty comfortable because we had a bit of equity from our home we sold - and we've been living off of that along with loans. Still, life changed a lot and we moved away from family and friends - not having that support system with young children was difficult - especially when I got really sick during his finals of second year. He just couldn't help me, and there was nobody else near by either. That reality just got some getting used to I guess. We're hoping to get to a city with family for residency - although, now I know we can make it either way.

Good luck with your decision. If your heart is set on this work, then with a supportive spouse you will make it all work.

[Flynn]

I think the real test to whether it's worth it is if you can get through residency. This is where most people question their choices, dedication, and have at times a "what have I done" mentality.

The problem is, once you've matched, you're locked in. You can change specialities -- but it's hard and sometimes it adds a year to your training.

"Is it worth it" is a very very difficult question.
It depends on so many variables.

If you cannot be happy with any other career -- go for it.
If you are trying on a new hat because your current career "doesn't really do it for you" -- medicine is NOT a good fit IMO.

[MDPhDWife]

I believe another major factor is if you have children. I noticed you didn't mention any. In that case I feel it's worth seriously considering. When you have kids things get a lot more complicated. We have 2 children and will more than likely move for residency and that makes me very nervous. The thought of not having a support system is scary to me. If we didn't have any children, I wouldn't have such anxiety about it.

Meanwhile, if your husband is on board with the idea and this is your dream, then go for it!

[DCJenn]

Every career path has a suck factor- medicine's just takes a lot longer and costs a lot more.

I gave up a lot to move with my husband for residency but I wasn't willing to give him up just to have a cool condo in DC.

Things work out- people have babies in medical school and residency- (the student or resident, that is). It gets complicated but probably not unsurmountable. If having kids is important to you then it will work out. Speciality plays a HUGE part in how much time you'll have w/ your family at the end.

Good luck-

Jenn

We don't have any children yet. Of course we talk about when and how we're going to juggle all that, but we can't predict how it will work out. The idea of going to medical school has been with me a long time. It is not a career change for me even though I am matriculating a couple of years older than most traditional students because I wanted to travel and work. It is very scary to give up our current life, but my feeling is I would probably be miserable down the road if I didn't go.

I also sort of gave up my career in order for DH to achieve his. I was able to work and support us during his MS years, which worked out nicely. Between his loans, and my pay...we were okay. Well, now that we see his DEBT, it is a bit scary...but anyhow.

Now he is beginning his first week actually of residency. We also moved 17 hours away from the closest family, and now we are expecting our 1st baby (due ANY DAY NOW!!!!). But for us, it was worth it. I am totally okay with being a SAHM for awhile. Unless we see that money is too tight, at which time I can always go back to work.

It sounds to me like if you have no kids, yet, and your DH is supportive...you will be fine!!

Medicine is a whole different world...from a spouse perspective (correct me if I am wrong here military folks) but its a tiny little bit like being in the military. You go where you have to go, and often times you just need to roll with the punches.

Congratulations to you on being accepted into MS and GOOD LUCK!!!! You found a great group here to chat with. And make sure you tell your DH about us!!!

[houseelf]

Welcome, I will look forward to hearing more from your perspective of things.

Kelly

This may sound a bit cliche, but try not to worry about it and let whatever happens happen. You will find a house, your husband will find a job if he wants one, kids can easily fit into the picture. You will adjust to these situations and then you'll need to adjust some more. But that's half the fun, right? Usually everything works out (man, I'm just full of cliches ). Your husband is supportive and that's probably the most important thing.

Thanks everyone! I can be such a worrywart at times. I'll have to let my husband know about this site. It could use some more men on it.