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Hi imsn ladies,
First off I just want to say what a huge relief it is to find a forum such as this one. I have been looking for a place like this for the longest time, but I guess I wasn't entering the right keywords when doing a search... until fairly recently. I have previously been on a wedding board while planning my wedding, but found that no one really knew exactly or could appreciate what I was going through (besides planning a wedding).
The past couple years have been a whirlwind where I uprooted myself from sunny So Cal and move across the country to rural West Virginia to help support my then fiance through medical school. I never once regretted my decision in moving to WV to be with my FI, however it did come at a cost of sacrificing my career and moving far, far away from my friends and family. The decision itself, needless to say, shocked many people as I was thought as one never to move or sacrifice anything for anyone or move to West Virginia for that matter.
During time there, I struggled through many obstacles. On a personal level, I suffered immense depression after realizing the enormity of my decision and how much I left behind. So much so, that did not step out of our apartment for literally 3 months. I have not admit this to many people, however, I feel somewhat comfortable to share this with you all in hopes that this particular group can somewhat understand or make sense of why I did this. I'm still trying to make sense of it to this day because it was truly out of my character.
On a professional level (or lack thereof), I faced the worst discrimination I have ever encountered in my life. I came from a place where I had many options and job offers to another where I was turn away bc of my nationality. I believe that was, in part, another reason that contributed to my depression. I eventually found myself re-prioritizing the things I thought were important in my life. FI became my center focus, as much as I strived for a balance, it was just not possible as I lived in the middle of nowhere! I can go on and on about my time there, but alas, I would hate to bore. The situation did eventually get better towards the end, but I never got use to living there. It was a great experience, good or bad, in which contributed to my personal growth and made our bond stronger.
Now we are past that enormous mountain that entails the following (these were huge changes and shifts in just past few months):
1) Planned our wedding by myself across country.
2) Helped with residency application, arranged and prepped FI for interviews, MATCHED in So Cal but had to help with scrambling for pre-lim year bc FI thought it was fine just applying to two pre-lims. UGH. Thankfully, matched in So Cal in the same school. Whew.
2) Relationship survived through medical school.
3) Flew back to CA month before the wedding to finish planning like a mad woman.
4) Flew back to WV the two weeks before the wedding for FI's graduation.
5) Finished packing our apartment and moved everything across country within the week of our wedding.
6) Got MARRRIED. (Two months ago). w00t! w00t!
7) Went on HM for a week in MX.
8) Hubby started med school a week after HM.
9) Got a new job, started less than a month ago.
10) We both finally have income coming in to start paying off loans, etc. etc. HUGE relief.
Now, I find myself reestablishing my identity, a bit lost and confused as to what I want to do with my life, and gaining back the independence and confidence I lost along the way during these past yrs. I also find myself at times lonely because hubby is working crazy hrs. It is very difficult to find time to spend time together as we are still newly weds. I guess the only consolation is that I do have a job that requires some insane hours. Nevertheless, I miss my husband.
I also feel quite isolated from my friends as they do not know what it's like to be a "doctor's wife". They have some preconcieved notion that I'm sure majority of the general public has. But I find it difficult to explain to them that it's not what it is all cut out to be. They don't understand that I'm lonely, that I have very limited time with my husband, that there may never be couple's night, that I get very hurt when I tell them that hubby can't go but I can, and then get uninvited, that on a regular day, hubby comes home, I feed him and put him to bed... Ok whew, got that all off my chest.
All in all, I love my husband very much and love being married. I know this will all come with a lot of patience and time. It's not going to be easy, but I'm comforted that I found a place that I can finally relate to and that can relate to me.
First off I just want to say what a huge relief it is to find a forum such as this one. I have been looking for a place like this for the longest time, but I guess I wasn't entering the right keywords when doing a search... until fairly recently. I have previously been on a wedding board while planning my wedding, but found that no one really knew exactly or could appreciate what I was going through (besides planning a wedding).
The past couple years have been a whirlwind where I uprooted myself from sunny So Cal and move across the country to rural West Virginia to help support my then fiance through medical school. I never once regretted my decision in moving to WV to be with my FI, however it did come at a cost of sacrificing my career and moving far, far away from my friends and family. The decision itself, needless to say, shocked many people as I was thought as one never to move or sacrifice anything for anyone or move to West Virginia for that matter.
During time there, I struggled through many obstacles. On a personal level, I suffered immense depression after realizing the enormity of my decision and how much I left behind. So much so, that did not step out of our apartment for literally 3 months. I have not admit this to many people, however, I feel somewhat comfortable to share this with you all in hopes that this particular group can somewhat understand or make sense of why I did this. I'm still trying to make sense of it to this day because it was truly out of my character.
On a professional level (or lack thereof), I faced the worst discrimination I have ever encountered in my life. I came from a place where I had many options and job offers to another where I was turn away bc of my nationality. I believe that was, in part, another reason that contributed to my depression. I eventually found myself re-prioritizing the things I thought were important in my life. FI became my center focus, as much as I strived for a balance, it was just not possible as I lived in the middle of nowhere! I can go on and on about my time there, but alas, I would hate to bore. The situation did eventually get better towards the end, but I never got use to living there. It was a great experience, good or bad, in which contributed to my personal growth and made our bond stronger.
Now we are past that enormous mountain that entails the following (these were huge changes and shifts in just past few months):
1) Planned our wedding by myself across country.
2) Helped with residency application, arranged and prepped FI for interviews, MATCHED in So Cal but had to help with scrambling for pre-lim year bc FI thought it was fine just applying to two pre-lims. UGH. Thankfully, matched in So Cal in the same school. Whew.
2) Relationship survived through medical school.
3) Flew back to CA month before the wedding to finish planning like a mad woman.
4) Flew back to WV the two weeks before the wedding for FI's graduation.
5) Finished packing our apartment and moved everything across country within the week of our wedding.
6) Got MARRRIED. (Two months ago). w00t! w00t!
7) Went on HM for a week in MX.
8) Hubby started med school a week after HM.
9) Got a new job, started less than a month ago.
10) We both finally have income coming in to start paying off loans, etc. etc. HUGE relief.
Now, I find myself reestablishing my identity, a bit lost and confused as to what I want to do with my life, and gaining back the independence and confidence I lost along the way during these past yrs. I also find myself at times lonely because hubby is working crazy hrs. It is very difficult to find time to spend time together as we are still newly weds. I guess the only consolation is that I do have a job that requires some insane hours. Nevertheless, I miss my husband.
I also feel quite isolated from my friends as they do not know what it's like to be a "doctor's wife". They have some preconcieved notion that I'm sure majority of the general public has. But I find it difficult to explain to them that it's not what it is all cut out to be. They don't understand that I'm lonely, that I have very limited time with my husband, that there may never be couple's night, that I get very hurt when I tell them that hubby can't go but I can, and then get uninvited, that on a regular day, hubby comes home, I feed him and put him to bed... Ok whew, got that all off my chest.
All in all, I love my husband very much and love being married. I know this will all come with a lot of patience and time. It's not going to be easy, but I'm comforted that I found a place that I can finally relate to and that can relate to me.
im here....so lucky for me. 
i may be forced to beat it out of them...or take them to a SLP. 
welcome, looking forward to knowing you better. 
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