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Why didn't I know about this site 9 years ago?

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  • Why didn't I know about this site 9 years ago?

    Hi everyone,

    I'm so glad I found this site! I've been married 10 years and am the mother of a 9 year old, 7.5 year old and a 5 month old. My husband just graduated from in June. He's an MD and Ph.D and I'm an overworked, sick of my commute, evening and early morning nanny needing wife/mom/administrative assistant/taxi driver/party planner/social calendar scheduler.

    So, the internship started June 18 and I hate it already. I only work 4 days a week and I'm having a hard time. I have to have my mom pick my children up from the babysitter's because traffic makes my commute home take an hour. I'm dreading the start of school for the girls (they start the 22nd) because that's one more stop for me in the morning and afternoons.

    My evenings are spent with the baby attached to me (it's 8:15 and I've still not had dinner, but I've nursed him twice on each side). I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it the next four years. Is 32 too old to pack up my husband, three kids and dog and move into my mom's house 3 miles away?

    For those who have been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and bumper sticker, how did you survive? Please tell me it gets easier! Do you ever get used to on call nights? I hate to whine to hubby because I know this is what he's always wanted to do and it isn't an easy job, but I am to the point that I would love to quit my job and use my profit sharing to supplement our income for a year. I know it wouldn't be a smart move so I would never do it, but boy is it tempting!

    Well, baby is finally asleep and I need to tuck the girls in (hubby is on call tonight so I'm single-parenting) and then grab a bowl of cereal for dinner before I pump some more so the baby has enough milk at the babysitter's tomorrow.

    If you've read this far, thank you. It felt good to get all of that out.

    Veronica
    Veronica
    Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

  • #2
    Welcome! :hey:

    I'm not sure if things get better or if you just get used to it. What's your husband's specialty?

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    • #3
      Nevermind! I see it's at the bottom of your signature! LONG DAY!!!!

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      • #4
        Welcome - it does get better but it takes time and is based a lot on their program IMO.

        Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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        • #5
          He wants to specialize in hem/onc or genetic diseases. But he doesn't like adult patients -- they're too grumpy and don't cooperate. LOL
          Veronica
          Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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          • #6
            Um, you have finally found the club. Welcome.

            Kelly
            In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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            • #7
              Welcome aboard.

              From a peds veteran- let see at about this point in intern year we were at, "I hate medicine, the people who practice medicine, the people who take medicine, and the people who make medicine."

              Intern year sucked ginormous arse. The good news is that it got progressively better until we were completely and totally nearly normal people by 3rd year.

              Welcome aboard, vent away. There is nothing you can say that will scare us!! This is the place to come to get a pat on the head and a shoulder to cry on.

              Jenn

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              • #8
                Welcome. You found us just in time!!!!!!!!! This life is doable, but it does suck.
                Luanne
                wife, mother, nurse practitioner

                "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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                • #9
                  Hey V-girl
                  You made it here ...now stick around and become one of the gang!!!We are all in it together! :hey:

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                  • #10
                    :hey:

                    Pumping sucks.
                    Mom of 3, Veterinarian

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Michele
                      Pumping sucks.
                      Yeah, it does. And I love being able to nurse my baby, but I feel this enormous pressure to make it to one year because hubby is in pediatrics. Not to mention all the "support" we receive at work.
                      Veronica
                      Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                      • #12
                        Hi!



                        Intern year does suck so feel free to come in here an vent anytime. I have found this site to be very supportive.
                        Finally - we are finished with training! Hello real world!!

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                        • #13
                          Welcome to the site!

                          It will get easier...I promise! If not, you can virtually kick me until you feel better.
                          Post away, we are always here!

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                          • #14
                            I see several are stay at home parents. So, there is hope that I will eventually be able to give up my paycheck job and just take care of my kids and house? I really didn't want to come back to work after the baby but even if we pulled our girls from Catholic school and put them in the public school down the street, there wouldn't be enough left over for clothing (they are in uniforms right now), diapers, dance lessons (the oldest is really good), etc.
                            Veronica
                            Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                            • #15
                              You're in good company here! DH is also in the MD/PhD program and it is looong! I don't have much advice to offer, since you are ahead of us by a couple years. So I'll actually be looking to you for some insight soon! It's been said that intern year is the worst of residency, so hang in there and have faith it will get better.

                              As for the breastfeeding, that's a tough one. Neither one of my girls would take the breast, so it was just pumping for me. I got frusterated and quit by the time DD1 she was 5 months old. With DD2 I commited myself to getting to the 12 month mark. Because I was a very high volume producer and was solely pumping, I was able to deep freeze enough milk (over 1000 lbs!) by the 8 month mark to get us through the first year. If you're a high volume producer, that might be something to consider. Just remember, breastfeeding is a very personal decision and you have to do what's right for you and your baby. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

                              Is it possible for you to take a leave of abscence from work so you can have a test run at how your life and finances would be if you didn't work? I recently quit working to be a SAHM. We always just assumed my income was necessary. When we actually sat down and ran some numbers, we discovered that my income was only necessary if we wanted to maintain our lifestyle. So we reprioritized and made some adjustments to our lifestyle so that my income is no longer necessary. Is money tight? Very. Am I stressed to the max? No so much anymore. I wish I had done this years ago. Again this is a personal decision and everyone's situation is different. You have to do what's right for you and your family. Hang in there and post often! :therethere:
                              Charlene~Married to an attending Ophtho Mudphud and Mom to 2 daughters

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