Hey Everyone! GF of Future Med Student...

Hey! I guess I am just starting out but I feel a sense of support having this network around. When I went through my relationship I knew my bf wanted to be a doctor nonetheless specialize in Surgery. I know it's hard and what I am reading on these forums doesn't help my confidence in the future. My no. 1 concern right now is financially. I know he won't be able to work therefore, I would have to carry the bills during that time. Is it doable? We went though some hard times recently I was with out a job one week and then he was without a job on the next week. Is like if God was trying to test us? I was without work for a month and him for two (he needed to wait for paperwork he is international student and work permit had expired) I myself was laid off. Without any income our bank account was totally wiped out. He would be going into Med School for 2009 currently working on his Biology Major. What am I to expect the years to come? I am so nervous and afraid that we wont survive. I Love him to eternity and want him to be happy but I also want sense of security that we will be fine. Well with that said I am glad I have everyone on this site. He has a forum and I had been searching for one where I may call my own. I hope we become great friends and that I may count on all of you to help me with the definitely long years to come.

P.S. I would have a job while he is in med school. My target is Accounting.

[SuzySunshine]

There are many stories on here of couples making it through medical school usually with one working and/or student loans. It can be done.

[houseelf]

Welcome!

Kelly

[v-girl]

The first thing we did when we found out where DH would be going to med school was call a realtor. Yep, we bought a house in April 1998 and are still in that same house. One that we knew we could afford on my income and in a neighborhood that would hold up for at least 10 years. We picked what was the "rich" neighborhood when I was a kid (I grew up in the town we live in) and we're still here with a house full of kids (3). Our first child was born in June of that year.

Oh, and start clipping coupons. Learn to bargain shop. I'm a shoe freak, but I buy most of mine on clearance racks. Make sure if you have a car, you have one that will not be expensive to maintain.

We eat a lot of Hamburger Helper, Tuna Helper, etc. And turkey dogs and mac & cheese.

You can do it!

We survived the first two years of medical school on student loans, some savings and any money I could bring in freelancing. And like v-girl, we bought a house. I got a full-time job two years in that helped a bit more.

A good piece of advice -- don't live like you're a doctor. What I mean is it's a long time before doctor money will be rolling in. Live like the poor students you are. I was amazed at the number of my DW's classmates that bought nice cars there was no way they could afford, went on vacations every break, got huge engagement rings. Imagine all that debt piled onto the student loans?

Anyway, don't be too freaked out about what you see here. It's reality but it is also doable and most of us are pretty darn happy. It's amazing what you can adapt to.

Welcome. It can be done. We made in through my husband's 4 years of med school on my salary alone, with kids. It can be done. I don't know if or when you'll exactly have that sense of financial security you asked about. Honestly, I still don't have it yet. Stick around here and you'll pick up some great ideas for survival!

Awww... Thanks so much! About living doctor life OoOoo no.... We live in an efficiency (which is a room) we are going to upgrade to a 1/1 right now. We do have new cars but It's a Saturn? LOL! I would have only one year to finish paying off once he starts. And he has an 05 Neon and plans to stick with it for a while. Loans would be our Savior LOL! I would be going to school only part time in the mean time as I am far younger than he is. Something that maybe worries him as well is age he would be going into Med School when he is 28 is that too old? I told him it's better to be 40 and a doctor then be 40 and not one and you get only one chance at life. Is there anything else I may tell him to secure him that age is not a factor. I am 5 yrs younger than him.

[poky]

My husband just started med school and just turned 36. Schools aren't supposed to discriminate, but you will find that some are more friendly to "nontraditional" students than others; there are a quite a few that experience shows won't even consider someone over some magic age, be it 30 or 34 or whatever. 28's not bad, though - he's still plenty young to have a good shot at most schools. Case Western is one that definitely skews toward the older students; a perusal of the forums at SDN (studentdoctor.net) might help him target some others that older students have been accepted to also.

Is he going to take the MCAT this coming April? Is he ready?

Actually last night we talked about it and he would be taking him MCAT in 2010 to begin the school year in 2011. I know he wants to stay in Florida or try nontheless. He is aiming to achieve awesome grades along with a good MCAT score. I mean I have confidence that he would do well. Were trying to check out if there is any help from out of state school, for example if you sign with a hospital for a certain time or something like that. I remember my sis was studying nursing and she was offered a full scholarship if she signed with Baptist hospital to Barry University. Lets see we don't want a full ride but maybe some help. He doesn't want to leave the state because of me and being far away from my family but I told him that he is my family now and I have to stick by him. I mean is there anything else I can do with him now to prepare for the MCAT?

[SuzySunshine]

Preparing for an MCAT 2 1/2 years away - ummm, no! Any studying he would do now would just be lost. You guys are REALLY early in this journey so the only thing he really can do is get good grades and pad his resume with some volunteering.

[poky]

So does that mean he'll actually be 30 when he plans to start? Definitely troll SDN for suggestions on where to apply.

And I know he's not going to want to hear it, but for med school, geographical location probably shouldn't be *the* most important consideration. We wanted to stay in Oregon, but....it didn't work out that way. We wasted a year because he only applied to two (close) schools the first year, and he didn't get into either of them. He applied to about 15 schools this year and got into...3 or 4. Including the local one (go figure). Thing is, our financial situation would have been a million times worse if we hadn't moved....so we did. *sigh*. Maybe Florida's state schools are better about preferring instate applicants than Oregon's is, that would help.

Yes, it's nice if you can stay near family and friends...but he needs to brace himself that it may just not be possible. And he needs to decide if he wants to *only* apply local and potentially have to wait another year, or apply all over and maybe have to make a tough choice about moving or not.

You've got plenty of time to get to that point though if he's not even applying for at least 2 years.

As for helping him: encourage lots of volunteer work For the MCAT, figure out how he learns best, and get what he needs to study; Kaplan has MCAT courses that are pretty good, they also have books and sample tests, etc. My husband really liked the ExamKrackers audio osmosis CD study guide, and he also took several different practice tests, including a couple that he timed just like the actual test. That seemed to help a lot. You can get a *lot* of info specific to studying for the MCAT on SDN, too.

(I'm really not a shill for them, I swear I don't even read it at all, but my husband does, some, and found it very helpful when he was applying)

Good luck!

[poky]

And Cheri's absolutely right: don't let him study specifically for the MCAT now, but be ready for when it's closer. Do encourage him to start volunteering right now, though, if he isn't already. You can't have too much shadowing experience under your belt.

[Momo]

OK folks don't throw tomatoes!

Actually last night we talked about it and he would be taking him MCAT in 2010 to begin the school year in 2011.

I'm confused here :huh: ...so he won't be a med student in your relationship until 2011, that is if all the stars align & things work out?
I don't mean to sound rude, but aren't you putting the cart before the horse?
If I were you I'd check back w/ us once he's been accepted. You are in a relationship w/ a biology major. I am not shooing you away, just merely suggesting the obvious, that you may want to come back once you know your partner/SO/BF is a med student ...just my :02:

[ud_grad]

I think the previous post is right. You are very early on to be worrying about how this will all work out.

That being said, I've been in your shoes. DH and I met at age 18 and he was a biology major. He took one year off after college to work and get some savings. Then started med school, received some scholarship money, the rest was loans, and the money he made the previous year was his spending money. We did not live together during med school. He lived on campus the first two years and commuted the last two years so he saved money on room and board. We got married 9 days after he graduated.

I had been working for 5 years out of college at this point, so I put the downpayment on the house and paid to fix it up. He started his surgery residency 3 weeks after we were married. The first year really sucked, well they all actually do, but the first was the worst thus far. For med school, I somewhat agree with the other posts that he has to apply to many places, not just what is geographically appealing. However, for us, we needed residency to be near my family/friends because they are my support system now that I have a baby. If I didn't have my parents to help me out and watch DD occasionally, or stop by in the days after my c-section, I don't know what I would have done.

Anyway, my best advice to you is to have your boyfriend follow his own dream and hopefully it will work out between the two of you. If he makes changes to his dream to accomodate you, he will resent you later in life for it.

I knew it could be too early to start but where else am I going to seek and find out about experience than here. I know I am his girlfriend right now but we do live together so is like if I am apart of his life. It's difficult in the sense that he doesn't have anyone here to support him other than me. We do talk about a future together and I can't support him in following his dream if I honestly can't have people whom would explain to me the experience therefore, I signed up on the forum. I am here because I want to understand the hardships that he will go through and be able to encourage him that this is the right thing to do. He is a biology major but if we don't start looking into what life is like in Med School and Residency what happens if he decides that this isn't the right thing to do. It's confusing for me trying to be positive for him not knowing what it be like myself. He wants to be a doc but he spent alot of his time trying to come to the U.S. and a year ago is when he finally was able to pursue his goal. You're telling me not to worry now and that come back in two yrs and do what then? Be even less secure about it. I know I am seeking support early but the earlier the better? Right? I am pretty confident that he may get into a School of Medicine he is u;timately devoted to his studies now and he isn't there yet. If it weren't because I am not the party, hanging out type of girl we would probably not be together.