Advice on marriage and dental school

I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years and we are talking about getting married. However, he has recently made a major career change and is working on applying for dental school. This is a long road ahead since he has to complete 2 years of pre-requisites before entering dental school. I am currently 26 & he is 27. His decision has been somewhat overwhelming to process - i never anticipated being married and having to raise a family while my husband was in school. I guess i have a lot of fears and want to get a better idea of what marriage looks like while your husband is in dental/med school. Is it possible to have a good marriage? What does the schedule look like in terms of having time to spend together?

Thanks for any input.

Hi,

I'm not sure what dental school is like, but my husband and I were dating when he was in medical school. Financially it was tough, especially for the one year I was in graduate school. We were on an extremely tight budget.

Relatedly, a girlfriend of mine wanted to be a doctor, so she took two years of pre-med requirements and then when it came time to take the MCATs and apply for med school she decided it wasn't what she really wanted! So I can totally feel for you that the extra two years of requirements changes the picture a bit. But if he's sure it's what he really wants and you love him enough to stand by him for many years to come, don't worry about it, you'll get through it.

Keep the board posted!

Thanks so much Jillflower for your encouragement. Much appreciated

[Michele]

I am kinda in the same position...my fiance is in his first year of med school and I am in my second year of vet school. VERY TIGHT BUDGET!! We have a dog and thankfully, I get most of her food, shots etc free. As far as taking the two years of pre-reqs, he might change his mind and he might not. Eitherway, you can still have a great relationship while he's in school. And if you BOTH aren't living on loans, it should be easier.

As far as time together, I'm probably not much help. I'm still struggling with this one. Sometimes he hardly has enough time to say "how was your day" and I get frustrated. And all I hear is how it gets worse during residency! 8O I think I may have to specialize just so I'm busy as well.

It's a long road, but this is a great community! Welcome!

Michele

Welcome to the board.

I could really relate to what you are going through. My husband had only 15 credits left to graduate in electrical engineering. We already had 2 small children (2 and newborn). I figured we were one semester from freedom of school and I REALLY liked that idea. When he came home and dropped the bomb shell that he switched majors to Zoology pre med.... my heart sank. This wasn't a total surprise. We had discussed it, in fact it was me who for three years tried for him to switch to medicine because he wasn't enjoying engineering. We added two years to our undergraduate education on top of medical school. My idea of what our family life was going to be like flew out the window.... BUT .... I knew all along that he would be happier being a doctor. We just did it and we made it work the best we could.

We are now in residency with 4 children and we are surviving. It hasn't been easy and there have been times where we both have said it isn't worth it (in our dark moments).... BUT I think it has been worth it. He will accomplish something that has been hard and worthwhile and I believe we will be stronger for it in the long run.

I don't know as much about dental school. I have heard it isn't as bad. I have one "acquaintance" at church whose husband is doing a dental internship and she seems to see her husband much more than I do.

This is an important decision for the two of you. You both have to be committed to make it work! GOOD LUCK!

Robin

Tiffany,

I was dating my husband when he decided to make a career change and go to medical school. He had to take a year of prerequisites and then started applying. We got married right before he started podiatry school and then after four years of that, he decided he didn't want to be a podiatrist and we went through another four years of medical school. So here we are eight years into med school and getting ready for residency. We have also managed to throw 2 kids and another on the way into the mix. I won't tell you it's been easy, although I think if he had decided not to pick podiatry school in the beginning and started right out pursuing this career, things would not have been quite so difficult. It is manageable and I can't say I have ever regretted the choice to get married when we did. I have found that you have to be flexible, can't mind spending many hours alone while your spouse studies etc and must have a realistic view of how demanding medical school is. It's not always fun and can require a lot of sacrifice on your part. I just keep in mind that it is really what my spouse wants to do and the schooling part isn't forever. My spouse and I are fine, still enjoy each other and have managed to maintain a great marriage. I don't know if this is remotely helpful, but good luck and let us know if there will be wedding bells in your near future.

Tiffany