Hello From Kentucky

Just wanted to say hello. I am a Stay-at-home Dad to our 7.5 year old daughter (home schooling), and Spousal Support Unit to my wife of 17.5 years. She works in the PICU/NICU units of a local hospital, and has been on the midnight shift for all of our years of marriage. So, we have been doing this a LONG time!!
Currently, we are living in south central KY on a farm (cows, chickens, chinchillas, dog, cats, bird).
In actuallity, this has been the best year of our marriage, so that's a GOOD thing!!
My wife is a typical type AAA, "has to be at work, so is at home too"!! That is very difficult for those of us who ARE NOT TYPE A!!
I am a retired Navy Helicopter Pilot and have a BS/MS in education. Best of luck to all of you!! Hang in there, it can be very difficult. Anybody that wants an opinion (without beating it out of me!) from the male side of the house, just ask. Thanks. XZ

[PrincessFiona]

intro

XZ,

Welcome to the group....I've always wanted to live on a farm (secret dream)! I'm always amazed and impressed by parents who stay-at-home AND are able to find the patience and organizational skills necessary to homeschool!

We're always looking for input from the male side of things. We have many male members who generally tend to lurk more than they post...but we are also looking to add some articles/helpful suggestions for making it through from the male side of things...if you're game, we'd love to add your own story, tips, suggestions, etc...to our Mr. MD page....

My hubby finished his fellowship last year, and we are finally settling down into life outside of the training arena. We have three children, a dog, a cat and 7 toads (all of whom have names ). Hey, if you can't get yourself to a farm, bring the farm to you, right??

Kris

Hi XZ, Welcome

XZ,

Welcome! Glad you found us.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. What an interesting background you have! I have a friend from my MBA program who is also a Navy helicopter pilot; and I thought that was just the neatest thing. I'd love to learn how to fly someday

BTW, what is a chincilla?

Take care.

Dures

Hi Dures

Chinchillas are rodents that live high in the South American mountains. A little bit bigger than a mini-bunnie and pretty fun.

Tip for Med Students: "Saying thanks to a nurse that saves your BUTT isn't a crime!!"
8O
XZ

[ErDrRon]

Re: Hello From Kentucky

Just wanted to say hello. I am a Stay-at-home Dad to our 7.5 year old daughter (home schooling), and Spousal Support Unit to my wife of 17.5 years. She works in the PICU/NICU units of a local hospital, and has been on the midnight shift for all of our years of marriage. So, we have been doing this a LONG time!!
Currently, we are living in south central KY on a farm (cows, chickens, chinchillas, dog, cats, bird).
In actuallity, this has been the best year of our marriage, so that's a GOOD thing!!
My wife is a typical type AAA, "has to be at work, so is at home too"!! That is very difficult for those of us who ARE NOT TYPE A!!
I am a retired Navy Helicopter Pilot and have a BS/MS in education. Best of luck to all of you!! Hang in there, it can be very difficult. Anybody that wants an opinion (without beating it out of me!) from the male side of the house, just ask. Thanks. XZ

XZ,

Welcome to the forum!!

Cheers!
Ron

Hi XZ!

Welcome to the boards. I'm sure you have much to offer from the male perspective as well as from someone's who's been through much that I have yet to conquer My boyfriend is a first-year student...so we're on our way!

That's awesome that you're in your best year of your marriage...care to share why it is?

Welcome again!
Sharon

[houseelf]

Welcome XZ,

I must admit that I wane nostalgic whenever I hear "My ol' Kentucky Home" GO CATS. I would give my eyeteeth to end up in Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana, or Tennessee. But for now, I'm living in near the Artic end of the earth.

BTW, it is great to hear that you all have just had the best year of your marriage. What is your secret?

Anyway, a hail and hearty welcome to the boards.

Kelly

Welcome!

Xz,

Welcome to the forum. It will be great to hear the man's voice on some of these issues. Like you, I also homeschool. My oldest is in preschool, so I just began this year. What curriculum do you use, or did you put together your own? My dad and my brother are both pilots also. Anyway, great to have you.

: Hi, My husband is a first year med student at university of Kentucky. I am originally from South Central Kentucky, but we now live in Lexington. I am really having trouble adjusting to the first year stress. Any suggestions?

Hello Kelly, Sharon, Yoda, Lauren

Hello. I took my annual 3-day's off this week, so sorry it took so long to answer.
First, Home schooling. We put our daughter on the computer at about 18 months working the alphabet (Curious George). At 2 years old, I showed her what the mouse was for . . . and the learning was very fast. We went through the Reader Rabbit CDs, and used a "Hooked on Phonics" derivative (much cheaper). Then we moved to the Jumpstart CDs. We acquired a copy the county school curriculum and ensure that our daughter covers everything required. We put about 95% of our time into reading, as that is from where everything else comes. She is now about 6 years ahead of the local public school curriculum for reading/vocabulary/comprehension/etc. Work with what he/she likes and make it fun. Best of luck.
Lauren, stress is a funny thing. The more you worry about it . . .the more you worry about it!! Very UGLY circle!! There are a couple of very important things you need to understand: The art of "Rationalizing" is very important. His stress ISN'T (and shouldn't be) your stress. Because his life sucks (Pardon) yours shouldn't. YOU are NOT his highest priority right now (sorry!), so you must live your life and try your best to FIT into his life WHEN his life allows. Enjoy your time alone . . .there will be a lot of it. Find things you like to do or want to learn to do. Find a good friend in the same situation and take turns cooking exotic dinners when you will be stuck alone. Learn to sew, and make your husband things he won't wear ANYWHERE, and then see if he takes it to work. My wife once made me a shirt out of flaming pink cloth with tweety birds all over it. She threw it away, and I pulled it out of the trash and wear it to this day.!! If you are not in school, take some classes . . .NOT "THINKING" classes . . .something like learning to play bridge, or basic photography. You need to have ADULT conversation and get out of the house.
Another thing that he can help with, "Compartmentalize" ... Life when he is home will have to be different than when he is gone. If there is a small problem, fix it and let life go on. He doesn't need to know. YOU need to take control of the house/yard/pets/cars/checkbook/bills/ everything you can, so that he ONLY needs to deal with his career. Is this difficult . . . YES. But, this is your part of helping him. He might actually fight most of this, don't give up!!! He'll thank you later.
Lastly, "DON"T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF"!!! Don't get upset if he doesn't make it home for dinner. Put it in the freezer, and nuke it when he gets home. Don't expect anything (especially help) from him around the house, and treat him like a "King" if he does. Just like a puppy, positive feedback works wonders. My wife works 3 nights a week away from home and doesn't come home between 16 hour shifts. I send her to work with 9-12 frozen dinners each week. While everybody else is eating at McDs, she is eating roast beef, turkey, vegetables,chicken, etc. When you cook dinner (or just whenever) always make enough for 4-5. Make the leftovers into frozen meals for him. He'll say "NO" in the beginning, but explain that you'll save HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS without him eating out 2-3 times a day. YOUR PART IN THE PROCESS!!! Take care.
Kelly and Sharon, it's been a long road to get here. Let me think about the marriage thing a day or two, before I try and answer. (Although the notes above have helped! ) Have a good weekend. Xz