I am new...maybe even too new.

[thartford]

I am not yet married, but my fiance (R) and I plan to be sometime within the next 2 years (no date set yet). We will be moving to Florida in July for his first year of D.O. school. I know the move is still a few months away, but I am already freaking out. I'm worried about how the rigors of R's medical education will effect, what has so far been, our fairy tale romance.

We have discussed having a large family, and I am no spring chicken, so we are going to have to get moving on that pretty soon. We know we want children, and will be starting our family during R's medical training. When is the best time to start? First two years? Clinicals? Residency? Any thoughts?

Thanks,
:anyolne: Stressed out future wife of future physician (Specialty not yet decided)

[Meenah]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Welcome! You are not alone in your worries/questions. Stick around and you will find many opportunities to have these discussions with others going through the same thing. Again, welcome!

[madeintaiwan]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Welcome!! Ditto on there is no "best" time to have children. Just depends on you and your partner. We started medical school with a 2.5 year old and added another in the middle of second year. We are expecting our third who should come right before intern year ends.

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Welcome! You're not too new!

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Hello! DH and I are going for a large family too . We started during MS3 (sort of...he hops back and forth between MD and PhD)...but I have known of his classmates who have had a baby at all different stages of training. It all works out!

[MissCrabette]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Welcome! I was in a similar situation not that long ago. I've also looked into the infamous "when to have a baby" issue and have come out with a handful of good opinions and no definite answer. It really depends on your circumstances.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Welcome! What's D.O?

Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine. As contrasted with a Doctor of Allopathic medicine (MD). Both programs are four years. Grads take all the same licensing exams and compete for/complete same residencies. Biggest difference is in philosophy: DOs' training tends to focus on a more hollistic approach to medical treatment.

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Welcome! You are not too new!

[poky]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.



Yay, someone else in the class of 2012! (my DH is in a 5-year program, so he started last year, but will graduate/match the same time as your husband).

I'm with you on the "no spring chicken" part, but have zero advice about when to have kids, sorry!

Good to see you here; looking forward to getting to know you!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Definitely not too new! I joined last fall when BF started school - he's finishing up his first year now. These are some amazing women (and a coupla men) and they've always got good advice. I feel sorry for people who don't find them during the med school years.

I'm jealous of Florida though, somehow Max picked Cleveland....

[moonlight]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

and Congratz on all of the new changes in life!

[SuzySunshine]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Welcome there are many here that have been together for a LONG time with their med spouse so you're never to new!

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Thanks Abigail!

Sure. I figured I was my turn to be helpful...a couple of people were nice enough to explain to me what on earth a "grub" is (even posted a completely disgusting picture of some), in an earlier thread on lawn problems. Now I know! (I am a condo owner...I am generally lawn maintenance clueless...!)

And to the OP, thartford: There is no such thing as the best or right time. If you both want kids, you can both make it work. It is, however, too early to start freaking out about DO school. Wait to see how it plays out in terms--what he handles well, what you can help him handle better. I would just enjoy these final couple of months before school starts. But I definitely would not approach it as "your LAST months of joy and happiness, to be followed by four years of hell." Too much bad karma build-up. This is a life change, but a GOOD one. Don't approach it as four years of torture that you have to dread and endure. Even though training is rough, it's a wonderful time to grow as a couple as he grows into a physician. Our marriage really developed and matured during med school. And I was so proud of US when he graduated...WE did it!!

[HouseofWool]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Our marriage really developed and matured during med school.

I have to agree with this statement wholely. We've had a few more knocks than the average student but we seem to be coming out stronger.

Welcome thartford!

[thartford]

Re: I am new...maybe even too new.

Thanks to all for the kind welcomes and words of encouragement. I'm sure glad to have found you when I did, and I really look forward to reading your posts.

Thanks again!