Hello all

Hi everyone! My boyfriend of 4 years is a 3rd year med student from UNECOM. For his first 2 years (while he was in Maine) I lived in Philadelphia with my parents. The long-distance thing was tough, but we made it through. He is currently doing rotations in Lehigh Valley, PA, and we're living together nearby. It's wonderful to finally be together, but I still worry about the future. He wants to go into orthopedic surgery, which I hear is a very competitive and very long residency. Anyone out there married to a surgeon? I hear they are a rare breed (my boyfriend certainly fits in that category)!

Ha. First reply!

Welcome (Catherine I presume?). I am not married to a surgeon, but I am married to a 4th year medical student. I'm sure there are people here who can give you a better perspective on surgical rotations, etc. No doubt it will be tough on both of you (not to metion your relationship). If you love each other and are committed to making it work you'll be fine. Good luck!

[houseelf]

Hi Cath!

I'm Kelly, wife of a general surgeon. It is definitely a long haul. Not to be the harbringer of bad tidings but both my spouse and I have said that this residency is even harder than what others warned it would be.

For whatever advice is worth, you all need to sit down and be realistic about what your expectations are for your relationship. (i.e. Do you want kids? A second high powered career? Do you prefer to function independently?)

I hear that Ortho may have less in house call, so this should make things a little more doable. Surgery is a very rewarding career path because you can save a life every day. Although I couldn't attest to it at this point, I have heard that surgery may be slightly more financially lucrative than some of the other specialties.

Anyway, welcome to the boards! I'm glad to meet you.

Kelly

[PrincessFiona]

welcome

Cath,

Welcome to the group. My husband did his residency at Geisinger back when it was affiliated with Penn State......we loved Central PA....and the Kind of Prussia Mall in Phily 8) (not that we could actually afford to buy anything there )

Orthopedic surgery sure is the long haul! There are quite a few surgery spouses hanging out around here...I'm sure that they'll be able to offer you their advice on good programs...and how to survive 8)

Welcome aboard...

Kris

Thanks!

Thanks for the welcome everyone! I've spent a little time on the site today and have found it very helpful so far. It's just nice to know that other people understand what I'm going through (and what I will go through over the next few years!) I'm sure I'll have a lot more questions along the way.

Kris - I spent 4 years in central PA at Penn State (that's where my BF and I met). I loved every minute of it!

Any other PSU grads out there? Go Lions!

Welcome

Hello!

Welcome - nice to have you with us!

I'm not at all familiar with Orthopedic surgery residencies or rotations. So I'm completely useless in that respect .

As for your other question re. PSU, I know a little bit about PA, esp. Penn St. My BF was born & bred in PA, so he is a die-hard Nittany Lion. He & I go back & forth about the PAC-10 vs. Big 10 rivalry - esp. during the Rose Bowl :P I've been past PSU's campus once or twice and I have to say that Happy Valley certainly seems just that - happy.

Anyway, nice to "meet" you. I look forward to getting to know you better.

Take care.

Dures

Hello

my b/f is practising orthopedics and trauma in London as an SHO, which I guess is the equivalent of your residency. It is probably very different over here, but currently his on call is 1:4 and the lifestyle is pretty demanding, with lots of time in theatre and lots of clinic (although I obviously dont have other specialties to compare it to).

As far as surgeons being a special breed, it is something that really interests me. Consultants over here have such reputations for their 'god-complexes' and arrogance- is it the same over there? My boyfriend has had a lot of struggles in his life, and has been at a disadvantage for various reasons for most of his career (although he is doing really well).

I think that having to struggle for anything, as well as a bit of suffering on the way lends an individual particular compassion and kindness, and he is the most sweet, gentle (although incredibly complicated) man I know. Despite this, he is often telling me stories of the wards, where he was off-hand or irritable with a nurse, or something similar. This seems so at odds with the guy that I know, but he says that in that environment it is so difficult to have perspective, and he feels himself becoming more arrogant.

I would just like to know what other peoples takes are on this scenario.

Thanks and good luck with everything- we are so used to his schedule that we get on fairly harmoniously, and like other people say, as long as I have my own very busy life established I feel fine. Not only is it good for my self-esteem not to feel reliant on him, it also makes me much nicer to him when I do see him and keeps me really busy.

I would be really interested to know whether anyone sees any changes in their partners when they start surgery though.

Welcome Cath!

My bf is a first-year med student so I'm just starting on this journey!

I'm in Philly. And love this area. I live in Center City. My bf's roommate (also a med student at a different school) went to Penn State undergrad. My bf and I both went to the University of Pennsylvania undergrad.

Cath and Kris: KOP! My favorite mall ever. I was there recently and they've added a whole new "wing." Love that place.

Look forward to hearing more from you!
Sharon